have you ever said" oh he is very advanced for his/her age"?

[FluffyMummy123]

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Don't recollect ever saying it but I do remember thinking it - and then thinking well everyone thinks that so maybe it's not true... Several people said it to me (of my children) - but then you tend to think they're just being polite complimenting your child. It does seem quite a pretentious thing to say of your own child even if it's plainly true.

I remember thinking DD's language was advanced for her age - which it probably was - BUT I didn't say it out loud. I was also sensible enough to know that pretty much all children catch up with one another on that front anyway.

I do think lots of people believe their children are very bright - see it at school when I am helping out. And a lot are - but then so are the rest of the children to!

I've never said it to anyone other than DH and my mum - though of course I have thought it, embarrassingly often when DS1 was tiny. I was very conscious of not saying anything about my children when looking round primary schools, except for asking how they looked after summer-born children. We are in a very high-achieving self-deluding part of SW London, so I'm sure we all thought it at one point.

We visited one local primary with DS1 when he was just 2 and the headteacher said to us, seeing him reading various numbers on the walls, "Of course we have a programme for gifted and talented children." She would have been disappointed if she'd seen how he turned out.

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I never said it - thank god!
Only one mum has ever said that she thought her child was 'a bit dim' to me.(I don't think she meant it!) I thought - 'Respect!'

No, I've never said it.
I say "ds is very good at this" or "dd loves doing this and is good at it". But advanced for her/his age sounds bad.

I say it about dd3s language when people remark upon it

When dd1 started in reception I said to her teacher 'dd1 cant do ANYTHING and knows no letters at all'

And certainly I've never said it when ds started school in the UK. I was quite proud to state that he was fairly ignorant.

Does Julie egg them on by asking something like.. "so how does Algie fare compared to others of his age?" I'm finding it hard to imagine everyone just coming out with such a statement totally unprovoked.

Have remembered that we asked the schools how they handled kids that could already read (which is really just a not very covert way of announcing the same thing - though we wanted to be reassured that they wouldn't just be sitting in the corner & ignored, no school is actually going to say, we sit them in the corner & ignore them!)

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sounds a bit poncey, cod

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you say it more than most

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so now it is confirmed that your DCs go to a poncey school. How cool is that?

I never had the opportunity to say how advanced my own DSs were as so many other mothers were desperate to tell how brilliant their DCs were at every opportunity. One father at DS2's Reception induction evening asked if his DD could have extra homework because she needed stretching (I always thought the rack would be the best thing for that).

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I am the ONLY middle class mum I know who doesnt hvae a super bright first born child

have never said this
have always been worried ds isn't bright enough for his age

me too enid, I often said I am only mclass mum I know who thinks her pfb could be a bit thick

lol

it actually does do my head in though

wtf have I done wrong?

she prefers watching the simpsons to reading

It's all bollocks. Einstein wouldn't have been 'advanced for his age' when he was at school.

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I'm sure I must have said it about ds1 and dd, who are both bright. Ds1, I suspect in a pfb sort of 'he's very bright you know - very advanced for his age' - he IS bright, but not VERY advanced for his age now at 7 - just where you'd expect a bright boy to be.

Dd - I wrote an ESSAY on her for the school, because atm she seems RIDICULOUSLY bright, very verbal (and always has been), was finding reading/writing/maths easy BUT was August birthday, and tall, so along with all the 'seemingly very able' she was also 'only just 4' and liable to react like an only just turned 4 year old girl, whereas because in other areas she was very able, and tall, I was worried that they would be tougher on her (does that make sense?). She was fine, but did have a few 'moments' so I'm glad I told them all that.

Ds2 - he is the one where I am always telling people 'he's a bit on the slow side'. He's intelligent (I think) but didn't walk till he was 20 months ++, and at 2.5 is only just starting to talk - still individual words, occasionally puts 2 together. So I think he will be the one who is not 'advanced' for his age.