School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

Yeah course he is, probably wrap it up for her birthday…

He was teaching the disobedient child a lesson his mother doesn’t seem able to.

This can't be fucking real

It's irrelevant if he did or not, he said that's what he was doing.

Are you completely unable to see his he could have done that without telling an 11 year old boy that he was taking it for his daughter?

Are you blind to the lessons that 11 year old boy has learned in addition to the one about not taking stuff to school to sell?

Some people are too thick to understand! No point keep explaining to this keyboard warrior who is backing the teacher (most likely him reading this right now) 😂

100% is

@Busyybee can I ask why when you’d told your son not to sell them, he point blank ignored you, did you not confiscate them?

You need to step up and parent! Then the teachers wouldn’t need to do your job as well as theirs!

This.

I am so shocked by the blase acceptance of dodgy dealing in a school.

Where did a year 5 purchase bulk numbers of fake squishies that they could sell on from? How? Which adult helped them? What checks did that adult make to ensure that the items were properly sourced, trademarked and BSI kite marked and completely free from dangerous small parts and dodgy chemicals?

Absolutely completely gob smacked that this could in any way be seen as ok or to be glossed over.

The poor behaviour by a teacher is a separate issue that I would not in any way allow to eclipse the very significant misstep by the child and adult involved.

The op seems to be putting a huge amount of energy and effort into the teacher issue and almost none at all into worrying about the dangers and ethics of the dodgy dealing. Weird priorities.

The teacher issue would be simply dealt with by a factual letter to the head.

The dodgy dealing issue is much deeper and more worrying IMO

That’s why from the beginning I said how I had told my child not to, however they went on to say so many people want to buy the ‘squishy dumpling’ I have & others are selling crisps, sweets, stuff from Thailand (balms, lip gloss, noodles, spicy chewing gum), chewing gum! In my head I didn’t think he’d sell anything, but sold 2-3 items before being caught!

they’re teacher handed me the bag and dealt with the situation, but this other staff member wanted to be GREEDY!

In all honesty I didn’t think it was a bad idea when others have been doing it since yr5 & haven’t been told off (teachers turned a blind eye) - it’s not the end of the world. What life skills is history or RE going to teach children? Not that I don’t expect my child to work hard - they are on the expected level in most subjects & ahead in Maths!

I think you are right, OP, but in all honesty at this point in Y6, I would let it go. Life is full of shady people who behave poorly and the message to your son needs to be that the teacher behaved badly and that he (your ds) can be a better person.

The teacher was in the wrong, absolutely, but you need to pick your battles. From what you've said, the head is likely to double down and defend the teacher whatever they've done.

Don't blow it out of proportion. Losing stock is part of being an entrepreneur. In this instance, the learning point for your ds is to think carefully about the 'risks' of sailing close to the wind and ensure that he can absorb the consequences if things don't go to plan.

Sorry??

your post said
There are TWO issues here.
One is poor parenting.
The other is theft by a teacher from a child in a school setting.

You said it was poor parenting yourself!!

Which it is!!

This, a hundred times this.

I've read all the OP's posts and the first couple of pages of responses, and am amazed that so many MNetters can work up indignation (on behalf of the child/parent) about this! There may well be teachers reading this who are on the brink of leaving the profession - this thread could well make the decision for them!

Honestly!

The child did the wrong thing, which s/he had been told not to do, and is now suffering the consequences. A good life lesson which the OP seems determined to twist into an issue for the teacher. Just stop it.

I mean, I agree OP that the teacher was in the wrong and sounds a bit of a dick

But your son was in the wrong too (though good entrepreneurship)

I think I'd say the above to your son - Mr X should not have taken the toy but also you shouldn't have been selling them in the school. I don't think I'd take it further in this case. I think we can sympathise with our kid that a teacher or another kid was in the wrong, without complaining to the school every time - I'd save that for the serious stuff

Successful entrepreneurs often sold things at school year’s ago. It might be frowned upon now but it’s hardly the worst thing a kid can do at school. I think the focus should be on the teacher’s behaviour, he should know better.

Bit didn't his own teacher say anything about it, just let the (thieving bastard) other member of staff do it?

Oh what a surprise attitude….

Explanation as to why your DS thinks he’s above the rules and undisciplined!

Do everyone a favour home school, better than him having to endure “non life skills” lessons.

Teacher of decades here. If your son is taking stuff in to sell at school despite you telling him not to, the best way forward is to request a meeting where your son sits in and gets told by both teachers and parents together to not sell shit at school. You could have settled on that idea from the get go.
However, your way forward is to pursue the school for theft, which as an outcome is the least productive for everyone involved. It settles no score, it's combative, it sends a really poor message to your kid, it costs the school valuable time and money just to appease you.

Some people have described teachers as "people who have power", and I wish that would stop. The biggest power teachers have is to educate and support and guide.and that's what we try to do all day, every day.
My god, how much of our time to get on with this is literally robbed by parents who like a power play when their child is caught out in something that harms the school experience of others.
We are correct to worry about the future of society and so much me, me, me.
Parent your kid, ffs.

youve taught your child that if they see someone doing something wrong then they can also do wrong. Very bizarre.

I think some people are missing the point, I’m not even going to talk about the selling of the items at school. The teacher imo abused his position and was wrong to take the toy. I find his attitude appalling- who is he to take the lot, he wasn’t even involved. I would complain and take it further tbh.

Sock?

Why would you be talking to OPs child’s school? 🤔 Why are you talking like you’re OP?

And there we have it.
A parent who doesn’t accept the rules and thinks her special entrepreneurial child should be able to do whatever he wants because “everyone else does”
It’s no wonder children are growing up with no morals and no sense of obeying rules.
If everyone else was snorting coke in the playground, would you also turn a blind eye to him doing that?

If you really must, email the head with your concerns about the teachers conduct.
That‘s all it requires.

I think you have a very difficult few years ahead of you both, navigating secondary schooling and adolescence with your approach and attitude towards education and your child's behaviour.

Using the excuse that others are doing it is so juvenile. You hear similar about speeding, cash in hand tax evasion, returning used items, etc.

For someone so wedded to the principles of right from wrong, it is very odd that you don't put more energy into your child grasping them.

Dear OP also teacher here- have confiscated many items, these days mainly ( v valuable) phones…
The rights and wrongs of your child’s behaviour are not relevant . The behaviour of the adult teacher is. No school management would condone a teacher who confiscated an item … and then took it for their own personal use. Whether it’s £1 or £1000 it’s misconduct. And this was witnessed.
Send a short letter/email to head outlining the facts. You expect your property to be returned to you in 14 days or you will be writing to governors. Wait, then write to governors.
Let us know of the return of squishy!
On yr son’s behaviour, make sure he follows school rules then these issues won’t arise in the first place.

Exactly. And this is why, OP, you shouldn't have let your child flog his tat at school. It creates a lot of drama. It always does.

Exactly this.