School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

Teacher sounds like a dick, what he did was wrong but you obviously know what he’s like so I don’t get why you thought he would give it back on Tuesday. You stood there and let this happen and now you want to go complaining about theft????

Not so hilarious if you are school staff putting up with parents like this. By the way, I don't think the teacher was right, but you never know what the truth of the matter is.

Important point here @Busyybee
But I hope that these toys are all safety checked and up to the standard of this country noy cheap tat which doesn't meet regs and maybe a choking or toxic risk to children?

Is your child aware that he (and you) are liable?

Its all well and good your child saying "well he took mine, so I could take somethjng thats not mine" but given hes in y6 he clearly doesnt understand the no and how to follow rules of the school.

You told him to stop taking the toys in to sell. He didn't. Where were the consequences?
Its against the rules of the school, he chose to disobey them.
Good luck as he moves to secondary school! 🙄

Yes the teacher was in the wrong and you should complain but you and your son cant sit there on your moral high horses its laughable 😂

Yes they are.

I’m a teacher. This is THEFT. Report it to the HT and take it further, if needs be.
The circumstances or cost DO NOT MATTER.
It is theft and that teacher is woefully näive and inherently stupid.

Exactly this. He probably got a treat for disobeying his mum and feeling hard done by! 🤣

I agree, what the teacher did was wrong. But unless there is proof he took it and gave it to his child, it's all talk. It could just be sat in the staff room...

I'd be dealing with how my child went against what I had said!

I'd report this to the headteacher and suggest you will take it further. It's theft.

Teacher is wrong. However its mostly unfortunate because it provides you with a perfect excuse to deflect blame from your own inability to parent.

If you'd said no with any conviction to this business enterprise then this could have been avoided.

As someone who worked in education, this needs flagging up with the head, if he does nothing take it to board of governors. It doesn't matter whether it was worth £1 or £100 what that teacher has done is seriously inappropriate. It does not matter whether your child was in the wrong for selling that is a different issue.

The teacher shoukd not have acted in this way. She is a nasty bully and should not be working with children. Complain to the Head

The 'poor parenting' brigade are out in force aren't they!

There's more than one way to skin a cat. You find out your kid is breaking a rule, you can stop and think about that rule. Is it for someone's wellbeing or safety? Or is it there for another reason? You can think about why your kid is choosing to break the rule. Are they gaining something, or loosing something in the big picture? You can think about weather the rule is there to serve individuals, the society, or the authority. You can choose to be a passive automaton who blindly follows the rules because authority figures put them there or you can choose to follow them (or not) through your own good sense. Then as a parent you can either "enforce control" or you can educate and lead.

Sounds like the OP thinks there's something valuable her DC can learn from their entrepreneurial efforts. She doesn't feel inclined to squish their spirit or take away a chance to learn. They are in school after all. So she choose to educate her kid, not control them. She told them it wasn't allowed and suggested an alternative would be selling after school. The kid choose to break the rules and was caught. Lessons learnt all round. Seems like the perfect way to raise a person that can think for themselves, assess risks, face the consequences of their own actions. Much better than a vacuous person who will follow whatever orders their overload gives them. But I prefer to eat sheep, not parent them.

Now to continue the life lesson, the teacher, the authority, the little overlord, choose to break a rule. This time the rule is actually a law. And the person choosing to break the law is an adult with all the cognitive ability and responsibility of their age. Perfect. Now the DC can learn about holding authority systems to account. It's a wonderful education they're getting, much more useful than naming the parts of a flower.

And the case of Mr Sticky fingers the teacher man also highlights to the 'poor parenting' brigade that authority is imperfect. And the 'poor parenting' brigade will whine that if the kid hadn't broken their rule first, the teacher wouldn't have been forced to break the rule second. Please see the irony here and stop eating all that grass

If your child, as an adult, sells items that he is not supposed to do so-illegal drugs or smuggled fags, the whole lot will be seized.

So, as your child appears to take no notice of rules and you allow him to do so because "everyone else does it" I would be wondering just what type of "entrepreneur" he grows up to be. A more appropriate word might be "criminal"

Presumably you don't want this, so this is a good lesson for him. Firstly, contraband will be seized and secondly there will always be someone bigger/with more power who will take the lot.

Get a grip. Your lad thinks too much of himself and has too much too say while you do fuck all.

Are you saying homemade squishes are not dangerous?

Are you saying that OP telling her DS to not do it and him continuing is acceptable?

All in the name of entrepreneurship?

Yeah right, it’s bad behaviour from poor parenting!

She did OPs job, she should be thanked!

Ok. So, I assume by that logic you would have no issue with a police officer who confiscated a large amount of cocaine from a drug dealer snorting the cocaine for their own enjoyment?

The teacher is clearly a complete idiot. He has taught OP’s child that if you’re in a position of power the rules don’t apply to you.
This is wrong and the teacher should be sanctioned.

According to your original story you were present when the teacher did this? You should have told the teacher to return the squishy to you (not to your child) on the spot.

But you can't have it both ways. At the time you didn't ask for it back, you let the teacher to take the squishy for their child as a lesson or punishment for your own child. The teacher shouldn't have done it and yes you probably could get the teacher into trouble but you agreed at the time and if you change your mind later and accuse the teacher of theft that's a dick move.

The rules are also clear that the teachers aren't allowed to keep confiscated goods for their own use. Do rules only apply to those in weaker positions? The great, the good and the politicians certainly believe this, but do we want to teach that to the children?

Would you prefer school staff and leaders spend their energy and time dealing with this minor incident or providing your child and his peers with an education?
It is a question of perspective.
You appear to have no regard for the amount of time and energy taking this further would divert from the myriad of more important issues within an overstretched system.
I agree this teacher’s behaviour was not ideal but this is an opportunity for a parent to help their child to understand that their behaviour has consequences and to develop some resilience in a world that will present them with greater challenges than this.

Are you ok with health & safety inspectors keeping FINEs for themselves?

The staff member is out of order but is it worth it to you to make a fuss?

You can email or speak directly to the staff member but if he is secondary school, so I wouldn't bother. I know it is the principle but your son took a risk in taking the toys into schools when both you and presumably teachers/school rules had told him not to. Some risks don't pay off and some people will abuse their position of authority - all good life lessons.

On the plus side, if I was you I would secretly be quite proud of him for being entrepreneurial - he thought about what would sell, got the stock and was selling it. Fair play to him!

Are you saying homemade squishes are not dangerous?
The OP stated that "Squishes aren’t banned in school" so clearly the school don't think they are harmful. I don't remember reading that the ones her DC were selling were homemade or commercially made. Either way I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt that the ones her DC were not harmful since she compared her son's activity to other kids who were selling inferior "Thailand black market" products. She seems to be aware of the risks of non CE labeled toys.

Are you saying that OP telling her DS to not do it and him continuing is acceptable?
She made sure her kid knew it was against the rules, and suggested an alternative. Kid made their own choice. They learnt something. Parenting through control stops working around the teenage years and then what are you left with? A bad parent-child relationship, lots of shouting and occasional grounding. Great

All in the name of entrepreneurship?
Yes. Sounds brilliant. Well done her DC

Yeah right, it’s bad behaviour from poor parenting!
Bad behaviour is violence, aggression, theft...

If the authority that confiscates an item keeps it for their own use, is that not theft?

Apparently, they're going to endanger their daughter with it.

What you are teaching your child is that is ok to go against the rules as long as you are not caught and that their mother is on their side at breaking them.

Now is plushies, give it a few years…

Aside from everything else, not great timing to be trying to sell squishies in school after recent news stories about microwaving them. I'd think after that schools will be on the alert to discourage their use generally.
This in particular means it's already an item under consideration in schools, and if you go complaining about an alleged theft of one by a member of staff I reckon you'd also be fanning the flame for them to just ban squishies in school for everyone full stop.
Well done.