School staff member took my child’s toy (for his own child) after confiscating items for sale

[Busyybee]

My DC has recently been selling squishy toys at school, he’s an entrepreneur in the making. However we told him it wasn’t a good idea and he carried on.

On Friday he got caught and his teacher gave me his school bag which contained ‘his stock’. They asked me to not allow him to bring them in as it’s not allowed. I told them I’m glad they’ve said it to him & he won’t be bringing them again. As the teacher handed me the bag, another staff member who works at the school asked to see what he was selling and went on to take 1 squishy & said ‘this will be nice for my daughter’. My DC asked him for the money & the staff member said ‘No, your lucky I didn’t take the lot’

My DC asked the staff member for the money or squishy back & he said ‘Na na your not getting it back, your lucky it wasn’t (deputy head) as she would of taken the lot’

This doesn’t sit right with me, value is only £1 but it’s the principle. What is this teaching the children?

What do I do about this?

I know that there is a shortage of teachers, but I wouldn't want a person who openly and unapologetically flouts the rules, to teach my child. Someone who thinks this is acceptable behavior should leave the profession. If anything, the vast majority of good teachers will be put off by tolerance for this sort of behavior and with having to work with this sort of person.

So you approve of what the teacher in question is alleged to have done? So you believe that they should face no adverse consequences for unapologetically flouting rules themselves?

This thread is, in a nutshell, everything that's wrong with a lot of schools and parents (and the relationship between schools and parents) now.

School is for learning, not selling mass produced plastic tat. Kids have a right to go to school without pressure from their classmates to buy crap.

In schools where parents don't respect reasonable school rules (like don't sell tat in school) and let their kids do as they like, you will get teachers who start to feel they also don't need to be considerate to these entitled kids and families.

This is very much a "two wrongs don't make a right" situation, but this is also what happens when there is no respect between schools/educators and families and an adversarial culture develops as a result. Nobody respects anybody else and the result is everyone is unhappy - kids, staff and parents.

What do you mean "alleged theft"? The teacher took the toy in front of OP, and told her they were giving it to their own child.

Just report it to the police, its they, pure and simple - he'll soon change his tune when Mr Plod turns up.

Send an email detailing that conversation and ask the teacher on what legal basis she claims to be entitled to keep children's belongings indefinitely. If you get no reply or an unsatisfactory one, escalate it to the headteacher.

Yep...

So what? Sounds like an excellent outcome to me.

Do you think a homemade squishy is not dangerous, do you think that a child can safely “manufacture” them? Should they be on sale?

Kids make their own choices, do they? I thought parents set rules etc, for kids to follow? You allow them to make their own choice? Bedtime, time on screens, what time they come home, if they do homework etc? That’s parenting, is it?

Entrepreneur, I wish I could be a fly on the wall in teenage hood, going to be a barrel of laughs for OP not!

Bad behaviour is only violence, aggression and theft? No it doesn’t start with that…… that’s how it ends up, by being let do
as they please, because that’s their choice.

I don’t know why you are getting such a bad response here.

I would be contacting head teacher telling them I would contact police re this theft if item not returned.

It really is the principle here.

Report it to the police……🤔

Don’t be moaning when “Mr Plod” doesn’t turn up when your child is in danger, he’ll be busy dealing with a squishy incident!

The clear rules on confiscation set out the requirement to return the confiscated goods to the child or their parents. No school has a right to confiscate and keep the goods altogether, let alone to allow their staff to take them for their own use. A school that breaks the rules is setting a dreadful example to pupils.

I think you are the one that needs that grip.

No, it isn't the same thing. In this context there is a clear requirement for the school authorities to return confiscated goods. This teacher did not take the squishy as a punishment but as a present for her child. That is theft. You may not like it, but that is the fact.

Why are you obsessing about homemade squishies? There is no suggestion whatsoever that that is what OP's child was selling.

Silly of the teacher to take the toy presumably as a punishment but the child was told repeatedly not to sell at school and so he was pulled up on it.

I'd hope the OP is talking to her child about following rules and not flouting them in the future just because others are.

I realise the teacher taking the toy for his child is also breaking a rule but I think that needs dealing with separately, if at all.

When I was at school, items were permanently confiscated if the offender had continued to ignore instructions, I have to say it did focus the mind if you thought you wouldn't get your stuff back.

Just to add those who think that selling junk or fake material from Thailand or anywhere else is harmless I encourage you to look into the kind of people those revenue streams actually benefit - it's certainly not people who are kind and law abiding. The school were quite right to shut selling these toys down.

OP I agree the teacher shouldn't have taken the toy but honestly what were you thinking in letting your son do this? You will have a bumpy ride ahead of you at secondary school.

It is theft, and it’s all got a bit confused with you telling the teacher to return it to your child. The toys had already been confiscated, and then returned to you. It doesn’t matter who was physically holding the bag, at that point the teacher has stolen YOUR property which they have no more right to do than putting a hand in your handbag to take your purse. That it’s a low value item that your child originally brought to school is irrelevant at that point; it was your property to dispose of as you saw fit.

You're putting words into OP's mouth. Her way forward in terms of her child's activity in selling squishies was to tell the school she fully supported them (once she had established that their sale was forbidden) and that they wouldn't be coming into school again. That could and should have been the end of the matter.

Having reached that point, how on earth is it OK for another teacher to demand to see the confiscated toys and take one for their child? How is it a bad message to OP's and other children to demonstrate that the school does not condone theft? If it costs the school time and money to deal with that, that's 100% the fault of the teacher, not the OP or her child. After all, OP has given the teacher two chances now to avoid it.

I hope the squishies aren’t the ones that are contaminated by asbestos…

I think it’s distracting to focus on your sons activities here and the school policy on selling items at school.

The teacher took something from your child, with a clear intent to permanently deprive him of it. He took the item to gift his daughter. Teacher has had the opportunity to return it, to you the parent, and he has confirmed that he will not. So he’s had the chance to put this right and hasn’t.

I would email the head as per a PP, but I would also contact the General Teaching Council too- it’s a professional conduct matter. A teacher stealing from a child at school is serious. Whatever the specifics.

I spent 18 years teaching, its a theft, there is no doubt about that, it was witnessed by the mother and he refused to return the item.
The police will very much turn up, it would be low hanging fruit for them. Certainly wouldn't be bothering with the school - it will send a clear message.

What makes you think the squishies came from Thailand?

I think there is an issue with UK consumers using Shein, Temu, Amazon, Ebay etc to import products directly from another country such as China, as it means that the products might not adhere to UK health and safety laws.

But a 10/11 year-old is unlikely to be doing that without help. They don't have a credit card, after all. They're more likely to be buying a bag of toys from a UK shop.

Police don’t even turn up when shops are robbed. They aren’t going to turn up because a teacher confiscated a £1 squishy 😂

Absolutely, it's called the Teachers Regulation Agency now in England & Wales, but you can make a referral on line. Will shake up said teacher whatever!!

The clue is in the word "TWO". As in, more than one.

This is apparently a difficult concept for you to grasp, but it is possible for there to be both poor parenting and poor teaching in a school at the same time. IME, poor parenting is common. Behavior like this teacher is alleged to have shown is much less so and more concerning as their actions and the examples they set can affect all the students, including those who benefit from better parenting.