When do we reject state school place?

[JadeVS72]

We have accepted a place for our DD at a local private school for secondary. She also has an offer for our 2nd choice, oversubscribed state school.
When would you turn down the state offer? I am paranoid if we do it too soon one of us will lose our job and we will want to scale back and do state 😆 we will be funding mostly from savings but if something unforseen happened we might need those savings! When do most people finalise their decision?

Please turn it down sooner rather than later, I work at an oversubscribed school and the amount of kids we get in September who have only been given their place the day before is ridiculous, they’ve had no time to buy uniform, the kids are unsettled because they think they are going to another school and then suddenly it all changes. It’s really unfair as you’re holding a place from another family.

Does your private school offer transition days away from the usual day in July? Dd has been offered a private school place on a partial scholarship. She's already done one transition day and there's another in June that focuses on lessons (the first one was.more team.building type activities). We're 99% sure but will wait til the 2nd transition day to decline the state school place, with the thinking that it will still allow the child who gets thay place to attend the local transition day when all y6's go up to their state secondary school places, and allow uniform buying etc.

Glad to hear you’re going to reject the place now. Leaving it until the last minute would be unbelievably selfish and entitled (and not exactly shattering stereotypes about those who use private schools).

@JadeVS72someone will be very thankful that you've done that!

This is something I have no idea about. They did an evening event the week after their offers came out but I know there is a transition day that kids go to for their state choices so wasn't sure if I should wait for that for a final final decision but I think we are decided and if we reject the place it will mean someone else from the waiting list can have their transition at the right school.

Totally agree with this. Just have a thought as to what other parents and their DC are going through.

Glad to have read your update OP

@JadeVS72 I think it's quite normal to have that sort of wobble - I'm a planner and always like to have a back up plan in place for the worst case scenario!

We've declined DD's state place now, well before the deadline for acceptance so it won't affect anyone else as the waitlists only get decided where we are after the initial shakedown. I've told myself that if the worst happens and we can't send DD private because of something that happens between now and September, we'll probably have bigger things on our mind and also likely be at the top of the waiting list for the school we had a place for anyway!

@KnickerlessFlannel a lot of state schools will have transition days in June, so may be too late for the child who gets to accept your rejected place

Thanks, I'll.double check

Our county does on the 24th June this year

I mean if I was in charge of admissions I would say people had to accept school places within a much shorter timeframe so this avoided all of this sort of thing and can only accept one, albeit private or state with some sort of tracking using child’s surname and date of birth.
to be honest I have one at senior school I applied where we wanted, thankfully got first choice and I think then (not sure if the same now as next 2 are still in primary) I think I opened the email and clicked to confirm it? I can’t remember now but there should be a tighter limit on this to allow local authorities to re-allocate to people who are waiting.

I think this is a classic case of treat others as you’d wish to be treated yourself and don’t be selfish.

Just for clarification, we are not in a grammar school area, schools we get in are roughly equal (with minimal waiting lists), and transition days for us are early september.
So rejecting in late june was fine with us- and schools.
Had we gotten into any desirable schools (for us either catholic, or too far away), i think may halfterm would be the latest to reject as there are people desperate for places.

Although, if we would have gotten into any remotely decent schools, we would have rejected the private school place ;)
The ones we got into didn’t exactly have anyone desperate to get in.

Do you mean you are considering sending your child to a transition day at a school where it’s 99% probability they won’t attend? Won’t that be really confusing for your poor child?

Dictionary definition of “entitled”…

Don’t underestimate how much fees can go up. Ours went up by £16000 over the course of four years. We hadn’t budgeted for so much and had to use savings.

My friends son was on the waiting list for his first-choice grammar school. Unfortunately, they didn’t like the other local state school options, so she accepted a place at a private school.

His son started the private school, and after 3 - 4 days they received a call saying that he had been offered a place at the grammar school. However, her son didn’t want to move because he had already started to settle in and had learned the school journey.

My friend also asked the private school, and they said that if they even leave first week of autumn term, they would still have to pay the spring term fees. Because of this, they decided to stay at the private school. Her son refused to move schools anyway.

My friends felt very sad about it, as the grammar school was their (her sons too) first choice and it was also closer than the private school.

They can afford the fees now for their son, but my friend often says that if their second child does not get into a grammar school and also has to go to a private school, it will be very difficult for them financially. So it is still a very stressful situation for them.

So rejecting it as soon as possible is better - at least before easter holiday?

I would urge people to remember there is a dominio affect to school places.

If you decline a place at your state school in early June, that place will be offered out, but the admin around that is likely to take a week or two, whilst the family decides and completes the paperwork. Assuming they take the spot, then their previous place will be offered out, and again this will probably take a week or two, and so on. Multiple children will potentially miss transition days. Also schools often plan their secondary classes to put children with some others from their primary etc. Any last minute place will just have to slot in wherever is left.

If you don't release your place until early Sept, people will have incurred uniform costs, plus children will be unsettled by changing schools, especially as this domino process may take until Oct half term or longer to complete. There may even be families who have moved to the area with no space at all.

Whilst I understand the thinking (let's keep this place in case something unexpected happens between now and Sept), something unexpected could also happen in October, and you would have to respond to that without the state place backup.

I know you (OP) didn't say this, but it's incredibly selfish to hang on to a 'just in case' place for 6 months, that someone else really wants. It's decision time now, and if you are too anxious about the financial risk, then just take the state place.

Glad to read the update from the OP.

For anyone else reading this in a similar position, some people may be liable for the first term fees at the private school from Easter, even if they never start. It is usual to have to give a term notice once you have signed the contract. My friend got caught out by this!

Well, absolutely. Entitled: having a legitimate legal or official right to do or have something,

Your DC is entitled to their state school place, OP. You aren't denying someone else. At the time you give the place up, the next on the list will get more than they were originally entitled to. At no point do they get less.

Most private school parents pay fees out of income, with a savings buffer. I'd expect most to have Life and Critical Illness insurance. But if for example they lost one or both jobs - during the worst job market in recent history - they might well withdraw their kids at the next natural break point. Before the child starts at the school is the easiest break point of all.

Giving up the state place is a low-ish probability risk (depending on the job market - so higher than usual just now), but high consequence.

It's 6 months until the start of term. It's not at all selfish to keep a guarantee of the best state school place your child is entitled to for 6 months out of a maximum of 3 years 'risk' to the next break point.

Do what works for your family OP.

I really don’t understand the thinking of people holding on to places they don’t plan to use. There’s some really selfish people on this thread. By summer you’re on the hook for the Autumn fees too. Make your decision now and if it isn’t state decline the place now.

There are people desperate for places now. But tell yourself you behaved well.

So the harm to the other child getting the space your child is entitled to a bit later is... stress to them whilst they're uncertain, possibly buying uniform too early (who buys uniform 6 months early?!?)

The possible harm to your child is having to go to a school which is less good than the one they are entitled to, if life circumstances happen.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

It's not the people saying they want to hold their state place longer who are being selfish. It's the people expecting a parent to not do what's right for their child, for someone else's minor benefit/comfort.

Not where we are. the waiting list this year is under 5 kids (and i know that at least 2 of them are out of area, thinking about moving here, but not sure).
The popular schools (we never had a place) are different, but this one - not an issue.