When do we reject state school place?

[JadeVS72]

We have accepted a place for our DD at a local private school for secondary. She also has an offer for our 2nd choice, oversubscribed state school.
When would you turn down the state offer? I am paranoid if we do it too soon one of us will lose our job and we will want to scale back and do state 😆 we will be funding mostly from savings but if something unforseen happened we might need those savings! When do most people finalise their decision?

I’m not turning ours down until the day before for the same reasons as you, unlikely as it is. DFriend got all 3 of her DC into the waitlisted state school she wanted the day before term started last year; it’s common.

I am paranoid if we do it too soon one of us will lose our job and we will want to scale back and do state
She will be 5-7 years at high school. If you are worried something might happen and youll have to change your mind in the next couple of months, I dont think it is a good idea to send her at all.

If you are going to send her to the private school, it would be sensible to reject the other state school offer, especially if it’s over subscribed as the place could be offered to someone else - it’s really selfish to not do this as it’s an anxious time for a lot of people and you’ve already accepted another offer.

If you are uncertain about the private school and the associated costs then reject their offer and accept the state one.

Spot on. If you are worrying about fees before she starts and are relying in savings you can’t afford it.

Yeah, this. Do it now so that the next person on the waiting list can be offered it.

If you're feeling anxious at accepting it now because you're not 100% about your jobs, it sounds like you are setting yourselves up for 5 years of financial stress. Places in oversubscribed state schools are like gold dust and you probably won't get back in if you reject it now.

Please reject the offer, it could save an appeal which costs the school a lot of money and a family a lot of stress.

Holding onto a state school place really creates a negative knock-on effect for those needing that place. It takes the council a few weeks to go through waiting list offers- I've had 2 friends who didn't get a school place by 1st Sept, had to buy uniform etc for the school they didn't want - to then get a phone call days later to say a place had come up. Both times were due to families holding places they didn't need. Some people forget, to be fair!

If they’re paying out of savings they can that’s what most people do?

Leaving it to the day before is immensely selfish.

By that time, the family that gets offered the spot you turn down will have bought uniform for the other school, worked out transport, had induction days, persuaded their child the other school is for the best. It’s not easy or cheap to suddenly do a U turn and say oh actually you can go to this school after all.

Please at least turn down by the start of summer holidays. Unless you have a real reason to think your income is at risk, that extra couple of months will mean far, far more to the family on the waitlist than it will to you.

I agree with others. If you are in two minds about being able to afford the private school, then it’s probably best not to accept that place. Fees will only go up, and probably by a lot more than your salaries (or your savings). Also a lot of schools charge more for KS4 vs KS3. I mean I assume you have factored that in but just in case.

Are you expecting one of you to lose your job? or is this just random “what if” stuff?

Rejecting the state school place “too soon” – you are going to have to reject it by the start of September at the very latest, and I would have thought it would be possible for the private school to be unaffordable after that. You can’t keep the place just in case until your DD is in year 11. Well you know that.

Seriously @JadeVS72 – please reject the place right now. Then someone else on the WL for that school can have the place and not have to go to a stressful appeal.

Or, yunno, decide private is impossible and reject that. You really don’t want to be in the position of having to pull your DC out of the private school in a couple of years’ time, when they are settled and happy. And if you do that, it’s vanishingly unlikely that you will be able to get the space you currently have in the state school.

As someone with a child on a waitlist, plse reject the state school place if you don’t want it. My DD was heartbroken last Monday. It’s been awful. It’s all I think about atm. I would cry tears of joy if I got an email/call offering her the space she wants then she can get excited about secondary school.

Be kind. Someone will be desperate for that state school place. Someone who can’t afford to go private like you. Make someone happy.

Agree with PPs that it is selfish to hold onto the place until the last minute. Another family might be desperate for that place.

I also don’t understand why you are ‘paranoid’ that one of you could lose your job in the next few months- surely you’ll then be worrying about that for all the years your child is at the school.

Also agree with a PP that I wouldn’t rely on savings for school fees.

We’ve always rejected early in the summer holidays. Early enough for others to benefit, late enough to not make me panic.

If you're already worrying to this extent then I suggest not going down the private school route.

If you make the decision that private is what you want despite the anxiety it's causing you then do the decent thing and reject it asap. Don't wait until the last minute that's just selfish.

My friend moved to a whole new area for a preferred school for her son. Underwent home improvements to sell her house. Managed to move a few weeks ahead of the deadline, but was rejected for all the secondaries in the new area because her son wasn't in a feeder school and the schools in that area were so oversubscribed. She had to watch people drive in from across the county and park outside her house dropping their DC off. She lived 5 minutes walk from her son's first and second choice. Not to mention the faff involved in driving him back across the city to the school they managed to get him into after a long, emotional and pointless appeal. Travelling around an hour a day each way for 5 years. I say this NOT to make you feel guilty but to illustrate how lucky you are to have been offered a state place and how crucial it is that you release that place quickly if you decide to reject it. It could save someone a very difficult appeal. But if I was in any way concerned about finances, I would reject the private school place in a heartbeat.

Some of us are really stressed putting together appeals and waiting for places to open up in state schools, because we can't afford private. My 10 year old is anxiously waiting to find out whether she will be accepted into our first preference school, where all her friends are going.

Please don't hold onto a place 'just in case'.

We declined straight away. Was a state grammar and so very much in demand.

Wow that's really selfish - I read the title of this thread and the obvious answer is the day after offer day, given that you'd already know about the independent school. What would you be panicking about?

Yes, same. Anything else is selfish, regardless of how good or in demand the school is.

Yes but the OP’s dilemma is that they may need the savings for a rainy day and no when we had DC in private fees came from DH salary.

As early as possible, but if you really feel the need to wait then do so by June, as most schools do induction days in that last half term.

Thanks for all the feedback! We will let the state school admissions know we won't be taking the place so they can offer to the waitlist and relevant families may not have to go through appeal. 🙂