My 16 year old just failed maths resit, and has ONE gcse. Talk me down from the ledge.

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He doesn’t seem even slightly bothered. He said he knew he was going to fail it again. He’s doing a level 2 course at college and the accepted him on the basis of 3s at GCSE but want 4 in maths and English for the level 3 course which starts in September. He has another shot at it in June but that will also be in conjunction with English.

What’s driving me insane is that he’s fresh out of fucks to give and wants to get a full time retail job. But of course there’s no chance of that at the moment without Maths and English. He’s not particularly committed to his college course.

What are some realistic options? He’s nicely spoken and well presented, but has ASD (bit PDA) and dyslexia and reckons he can’t remember “stuff” apart from gaming stuff.

Help. Help help.

He needs someone to spell it out in words of one syllabus. Someone he respects - old teacher, older male relative someone that he actually respects

I left school with one GCSE. It's not the end of the world. I went to college for 3 years and am now self employed. I hate school exams they only seem to benefit the schools so they can brag about what percentage of pupils passed

Didn't mean to come across as strongly as I did.

What's he interested in? When I got sick of my graduate job the first thing I did was get my HGV license. Cost me £2k and four days training and was straight into a job as they're desperate for drivers. Straight onto £40k, although hours can be longish.

Then ended up working for Tarmac and have done loads of training now. Can drive loading shovels, run the batching plant etc, future possibility of going into technical or Ops. They've basically said they'll train me on anything I want within reason.

Thankyou. And thanks to the previous poster. He loves helping people and I’ll have a good
look around their site.

Nah, it’s me being touchy, sorry.

HGV and tarmac sounds ace! My first jobs were in engineering and I loved what a sort of different world it is. (And it’s left me with a taste for men in hi-vis. Yellow, specifically!)

Is he destined for qualifications?

I'm old now, so it's more useful that I do have a degree and professional qualification. However...

Having worked my arse off through school, a levels and everything after, three months after I became fully qualified, I started modelling.

Frankly could have had shit for brains and made a tonne. To be fair, because I had more of my wits about me than most of my peers, I probably was more successful because of it, but even still, you don't always have to have qualifications to succeed.

Eldest DS has additional needs and god knows what he'll go in too.

DD, will be fine.

Littlest DS, has an as yet undiagnosed learning disability and I would be staggered if he left school with much at all. However this doesn't panic me. He can be an actor. He's naturally talented at driving things so maybe something there. A plumber, an influencer. Who knows. He'll probably out earn the lot of us.

Establish a bonus scheme. Financially incentivise him based on the results he gets. He’s obviously money motivated. Let him figure out the how himself.
I remember kids at school who were so lazy, suddenly became very motivated in their final years when their parents put a bit of cash behind the results.

I made just shy of £1500 working two long days over bank holiday. I literally did an hour's work as technical couldn't get the admixtures right so the pour got moved to the following shift in the end.

Also spent a few months on the evening shift starting 7pm and finishing anytime from 22:30-01:00. Usually about 4-5 hours and was getting paid £370 a shift due to bonuses - nine hours guaranteed at 1.5x hourly rate and an additional £150 bonus. And we were stood down on full pay every Friday on that shift so had a three day weekend (didn't get the £150 bonus on the Friday but still got around £200 for sitting at home).

I doubt they'd have cared about my qualifications for this job. It was having an in demand skill (HGV license) that got me in there and then just being enthusiastic to learn.

That’s the thing though - he isn’t money oriented in the slightest. He was offered £100 per GCSE and this would be doubled if he passed them all. Didn’t make any difference. If he gets any money it’s spent on crap immediately - it’s like he has to get rid of it asap. So he spent £15 on Sushi last week which was his entire allowance plus a bit of Christmas money. On raw fish. Does my head in.

Agree totally - I’ve spoken to all of mine about jobs that cannot be replaced by AI etc

I'm actually an English graduate and writing was a big part of my previous career. It seems to surprise people that I much prefer driving heavy plant.

The truth is that my corporate job was absolutely sucking the life out of me. I stopped reading books for years, for example, as I was spending all day proofreading and editing large documents/proposals. I've realised that for me there's nothing worse than monetising the things I'm passionate about. It results in a situation where I stop reading the stuff I enjoy so I can focus my energy on writing about a revolutionary electric mop.

I mean, fuck me, I had to write an entire gushing article about what was essentially a traffic cone with a hairdryer attached to the bottom! No thanks. I'd rather be trundling down a haul road in the countryside, listening to Spotify with a coffee in my hand. I strongly suspect my ADHD has a big influence but I'm like your son in that I don't GAF if it doesn't interest me.

I completely agree with this. I don't think just getting them to 'redo and redo' is good for their self confidence at all when they need to be building themselves up and figuring what they CAN do. It just reiterates what they can't. My DD passed her resit today and I'm thrilled because I know it would have knocked her confidence so much if she'd failed again. But - she's said they had a fab teacher for resits. Makes so much difference! I think our education system is failing so many, especially post Covid. They should at least have the options for jobs / apprenticeships outside of GCSEs. Otherwise it becomes like at the age of 16 - the world says 'computer says no'.

Massive congratulations to your DD! Well done! X x x x x

Once he's 18 he can have a visa for Australia and go fruit picking

Tell him to do some temping in a factory in the mean time to earn some cash for the flight

Is he at all sporty? Can he swim? Look into lifeguarding/refereeing/umpiring qualifications because they would be a good route to some casual work that a)would look good on his CV and b) may lead to a permanent job.

Re the maths. Switching to the higher paper is unlikely to help, it has a lower pass mark as the questions start at grade 3, no easy marks at all. Only if he is eg very good with algebra and trig but poor on supposedly simpler topics.

OP, I am watching this thread with great interest, as I suspect my DS is similar to yours but in Yr11. Lovely lad, mellow and kind, terrible executive functioning, no motivation academically, no particular interests, not bothered by money. Stuffed his Autumn mocks, CBA to revise, won't engage with tutoring or parental efforts to support learning.

Off to the forces with him, if they will take him with his additional needs. If not he needs a trade. Send him on a 9 week plastering course, tiling course and a painting and decorating course. Help him find a building firm who will take him on . He needs to acquire some way of supporting himself. You never know, he may become a property developer. A good stint of hard labour may buck up his ideas and motivate him.

I’m looking at functional maths options for very low achieving (academically) DS who has dyslexia and ADHD. Wasn’t aware of this re functional maths papers, I was hoping it would be more accessible to him as someone who struggles.

I'd look at functional skills L2 at college - if not now in a bit and see if it will suit him more.

If not I do know here council run maths and english GCSE re-takes for a price not just local colleges - so it may be something he can come back to in a few years tends to be older people who have always really struggled less teens filling in time.

Get him looking for at least p/t retail job now - and see if your area has careers advice or any NEET programs. There is one in this areas DD2 friend on - she has some GCSE grades - they get them placements in work places with aim to get them somewhere permanent.

@Rattrapjudy re FS Maths and English.

The nice thing about FS is they can be sat at any time not just at fixed points in the year. The total exam length is less too. FS English is I think far more accessible than GSE English Language. (My DD did it in a year out from college, long story).

FS Maths misses out the more esoteric bits of the GCSE syllabus such as algebra and trig, but from my brief look at it can be more wordy. (We looked at this but DD passed her GCSE at most recent attempt so didn't need to pursue.)

You can do them privately but until you are the age to have done 3 years of college you have to pay. You can sit them online from home I believe with a camera on for invigilation. If you time out of college then they become free under adult education.

Colleges may but don't have to offer FS to those who got a 2 or less in GCSE.

Really sympathetic, my sons very good friend failed all his gcses nice lad turned up every day attended every exam. It’s just not fair the teachers must have known he was destined to fail everything. He’s ended up doing the btec course he wanted but at a different college to all his friends. And resits in maths and English of course. We need to completely revamp the system we shouldn’t be putting children through this.
For your son have you thought about a construction apprenticeship? I work in the industry and there is a desperate need of staff. Help him get his driving licence when he turns 17 a lot of my children’s friends are getting delivery driver jobs.

Depends what he's gaming on.

Unlikely he's building skills, and of course tech skills are essential in this day and age.

Yes. HGV driver. They won’t care that much.