My 16 year old just failed maths resit, and has ONE gcse. Talk me down from the ledge.

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He doesn’t seem even slightly bothered. He said he knew he was going to fail it again. He’s doing a level 2 course at college and the accepted him on the basis of 3s at GCSE but want 4 in maths and English for the level 3 course which starts in September. He has another shot at it in June but that will also be in conjunction with English.

What’s driving me insane is that he’s fresh out of fucks to give and wants to get a full time retail job. But of course there’s no chance of that at the moment without Maths and English. He’s not particularly committed to his college course.

What are some realistic options? He’s nicely spoken and well presented, but has ASD (bit PDA) and dyslexia and reckons he can’t remember “stuff” apart from gaming stuff.

Help. Help help.

My teen couldn't engage and left college after a year. He said he got bullied at school and hated college,diagnosed asd. He almost had a mental breakdown last year at 17 and took to drugs and self harming.
He now works in a pub pretty much full time, rides a little moped the six miles to it and things are looking better. I'm just relieved he is ok.
I do remember the awful time of the results and he even failed the plumbing level 2, but i,managed to get him back in the summer to retake. But then he said he never really liked plumbing ,honestly I nearly have up.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d-bGmlvd2LA

More than one teenager has founded a successful jam business.

Good luck OP. You are doing it right.

I really hope so. He’s such a lovely kid in so many ways, a really nice nature and against the autism myth about empathy, he feels everything deeply.

Thankyou! On a day like today when I feel like climbing into bed and staying there, that is very appreciated. X

That’s my fear. That sounds so hard for you. So far we haven’t had any issues with experimenting with drugs and booze and he doesn’t go to parties etc, and is also defo way happier at college than he was at school. He likes the practical side of it and a total change of scene.

I’ve done a lot of retail/basic jobs and never been asked for proof of GCSE’s.

Obviously lying is wrong but could sign up today for a functional maths/English online course and put predicted pass on his CV?

Have a google for organisations in your area as lots of charities now help people get into work and even pay for courses. The one near me is west of England works but you will have similar. Perhaps princes trust is worth looking at.

If he can't remember stuff and doesn't seem to care, he could be overloaded and is having difficulty somewhere, be it academically, health-wise or socially. Privacy/space for his head in the evenings could be helpful too if he has siblings. They have a lot going on at this age. I wouldnt criticise/nag for the time being, concentrate on rest after school (besides homework of course) and then try to get to bottom of it and find out why this is happening. He may need to be taught to have downtime away from screens or before he goes to bed. Too much gaming probably isn't helping either (my teen is a gamer also!). Id say to somehow encourage him to have time for himself off the screens in the evening. He knows himself what's expected of him really at this age. When he decompresses he could very well come up with a solution himself!

A few years ago I someone I knew did an apprenticeship at Argos from 16, I’m pretty sure they didn’t have both math and English. Tesco do Stronger starts apprenticeships, You don’t need GCSEs. They get you to do functional English and math alongside working, no college.

My son had so many problems. Fell in with a bad crowd and went on weed, gaming etc. it was like pulling teeth getting him through o levels and a levels and he got into uni then failed 3 different degree courses had never found his feet. He finally got on an apprenticeship and never looked back. He’s now a senior consultant in a big 5 company.

He won't have. It's more that the Maths that he us doing at college doesn't make sense to him. I know someone who 'couldn't do Maths to save her life' at school until she got a place on a hairdressing course and did the Maths that went with that, she was soon working out percentages and ratios, so that she could mix colours and perming solutions etc.
Can your DS relate Maths to prices,/profits/ ordering amounts etc?

Meghan Markle is apparently selling jam at £50 a pot and shifting a fair few!!
Let him try his way and provide a safety net.
If he fails at least he tried ( and don’t say I told you so!)

My daughters just got a 3 for the 3rd time - she was 3 marks off a 4 at school then 2 marks last summer at resit ( remarked to a 1 off ) now today got 2 marks off a 4 again . She works really hard despite severe anxiety and possible ASD and is doing A levels at college in English language and Sociology plus the equivalent in Criminology and doing really well , she just can’t do maths ! She’s now had a year and a term of extra maths in a small group focussing on her weaknesses but still not getting that 4 …. It’s so frustrating as when they do non gcse maths such as taxes and budgeting she totally gets it but not the algebra and trig .Sadly they just have to keep retaking , I wish she could do the functional maths the tech college does but as she’s at a 6th form college for the A levels she can’t .

Do jobs actually ask to see GCSE’s? I thought that was just a myth?
Failed my GCSE’s and learnt at the pace I needed, going back to get my qualifications when my brain was ready to learn at 19, and now work in professional management at 30 🤷‍♀️
He will be okay.

Army. Pronto.

Do you know what PDA is?

Are you going to ask for a re-count?

I know someone who failed his maths GCSE twice and just scraped it 3rd time. He did get a full time retail job (part time alongside college to begin with), and is still there 10 years down the track, at shift supervisor level. He’s really happy working in retail.
So there is hope.
The jam making is something positive to build on, he could look for a job in catering or hospitality. If he starts at the bottom I doubt many places would be bothered about GCSEs if someone is keen and hard working, then once he has some experience behind him it’ll be easier to progress to something else

I spent over £200 last time to get remarked but as a newly single mum whose a full time carer for my other disabled daughter I can’t afford it .i was also told by a maths lecturer friend that as its maths it’s either right or wrong and less margin to gain marks . Think I will just get the papers so can double down on what she lost marks on next time .

I would be telling him to look at the forces, the RAF are incredible, or jobs like working on the rigs, railway apprenticeships etc, labouring. I see some lads on my local Facebook post about getting apprenticeships or work on a building site with success
If he can get a job then fine, but he can't slob around all day, he needs to be applying or going to careers fairs

Local youth/SEN charity or SEN alternative education providers often work with sen positive employers or they do life skills/job ready courses etc.

Personally wouldn't be pushing more money at tutoring surely he needs to accept his fails and come up with a plan mostly by himself or with you?
Some kids fail and then don't care until they're a few years on and can go back and redo a course they actually are interested in

Why are you so stressed out about it? Yes I know he's your DC but he just doesn't care! He's at that age. You've spent £25k? Wtf? My ds couldn't give a fuck at that age, then at 20 he got a job in a factory, trained, worked hard and climbed the ladder. He's a technical manager now, on mega salary.

I work in widening participation in HE, we get a lot of adult returners to education. Often with SEND they do better when older. So it’s possible he will do better in the future.

For now, hard as it is, I wouldn’t worry too much. Can he try Functional Maths instead perhaps? I have had a lot of learners find this better.

Without sounding rude, he's made his decision. You can't force him to take exams and pass. Step back, smile and wave and let him find his own way.

Looking back, my grandmother left school at 14 with no exams. My dad left at 15 with no exams. Both went on to have great careers. My eldest was rubbish but is a surveyor now aged 27, no qualifications, learnt on the job.

With PDA. of course. brilliant idea - not!

The armed forces have softened a lot towards asd and its not an sutomatic bar, but id be amazed if they were pro PDA and id not expect a PDA profile to cope anyway!

exams officer here… maths is very binary. It is very unlikely (but not unheard of) to get more marks in a review of marking in gcse maths as really they either get the answer right or wrong. It is more common to have grades change in essay subjects. You can request a copy of the script for free and a maths teacher can have a look.