Deferring a May born child

[Kingfisher4]

I have a daughter born 29th May. She is currently 3, due to start school next year.

I am currently thinking about deferring her, but only if she is able to start in reception the following year.

Would most people think that is crazy? She is not developmentally behind as such, although she is not fully toilet trained yet. I have been trying for months, but she still has more than one accident a day.

My reasoning is more based on how I feel about the education system in general. I don't mind reception as it's still very play based, but I hate the idea of 5 year olds going into key stage 1 and starting formal education so young. I have 3 older sons, none of them summer born, so have never been able to make this decision.

Don’t be so dramatic.

If it’s that important or you’re that committed it makes zero difference.

I don’t think any of the parents think of that. They will also be out of compulsory school age before they do their GCSE.

It is silly not to acknowledge the huge difference between a just turned 4 and a just turned 5 year old in September of yr R. Things will be much easier for the 5 year old.
Would you also say there is no difference between a newborn and a 1 year old.

I think in their zeal to criticise those that defer, some posters have forgotten that some parents do it, not because they can, but because they need to. For those of us, repeated comments that we are doing wrong by our children, that they'll think they are thick, not good enough etc, are pretty hurtful.

Luckily, and obviously, no one isn’t acknowledging that. Even better, the teacher is aware of it too.

I don’t think any of the parents think of that. They will also be out of compulsory school age before they do their GCSE.

It's quite insulting to suggest that parents who put thought into deferring - which takes work to make happen, especially before recent guidance changes - are somehow too stupid to think of the longer term picture.

Ex School Admissions Officer here and someone whose birthday is end of August so was youngest in class and has a child going to school next year and his birthday is mid August.

Firstly contact LA school admissions team to find out policy and to formally request it. The decision is up to the LA at what is the best interests of the child. Summer born doesn’t automatically mean start in reception. They could go straight into year 1. I would suggest finding 3 schools who would be happy to accept the child out of cohort year (Take them in Reception) and have a written letter. Please realise that you can’t just pick your preferred school, the child would still have to meet the admissions criteria and if they don’t get a place in one that has already agreed to accept the child in reception, the school allocated does not have to admit them into Reception.

By delaying your child’s place for a year because of your own concerns regarding the educational system you have to know the risks. If admitted to Reception when they should be yr 1, when you put in their secondary application, the school can say the child has to go straight into year 8. This has happened.

These policies such as summer born was designed for those children who were premature, have specific needs which would mean they would really struggle, not for parents to use because of their insecurities or their child is yet to be toilet trained. We have rejected a number of requests from parents of children that were younger than your child.

If this is something you are truly concerned about then ask about part time schooling or start reception in January.

Even though I was the youngest in the class, I was always above many of my peers. I am glad my parents didn’t hold me back.

Exactly this. It's like there's a determination to believe that anyone who defers only does it to have a kid top of the class.

Which always makes me wonder if they judge me more for deferring one of my summer borns or for not deferring the other? Is it a sign that I'm less caring for the one I didn't defer? There's 2 years and 2 days between them so exactly the same window for deferral.

Especially considering I had to properly fight to have the deferred one placed into YR because standard at the time was to skip it and go into Y1. He's finished uni now so it was massively uncommon to defer like that then.

when you put in their secondary application, the school can say the child has to go straight into year 8. This has happened.

With the new guidance this should be an incredibly rare, if not extinct, thing as schools now have to show how it would be in the child's best interests to skip the year.

We have rejected a number of requests from parents of children that were younger than your child.

How did you justify that missing reception was in those children's best interests?

Agree. My kids football coaches and teachers spent a lot of time demanding to see FA registration or school registration of any player they thought was bigger or older than the team they played in. Yes, including six year olds. Strict rules apply across school teams and little leagues. Sport is really important especially to little girls who might need additional support and confidence - I don't know why you'd make this aspect of her life complicated.

Omg never thought of that! That is crazy!!!

I am a late August baby, and for various reasons also skipped a year so finished A levels at 16. Was a bit awkward being amongst the last to hit puberty in classes but someone has to be. Sport was fine - but because I wasn't much good at team sports, did athletics and cross country running with my correct age group. It made me much more mature for my age - because at 15 I was in classes with 17 year olds.

I would advise against deferring, but you know them best

My friend delayed her August born ds for a year, he was neurodiverse & she used that year to push for diagnosis while she was also homeschooling her 12 year old dd. She started to teach him EYFS level stuff, early phonics, counting & maths, mark making & writing, while doing things outside the home, visiting places for new experiences, going to a local playgroup for music sessions & doing things like baking at home. The year did him so much good, his speech improved a lot, he learned to concentrate & sit still for activities, he got his diagnosis of ASD & ADHD which meant that the right provisions were put in place for when he started school in reception, he is 9 now & flying at school, his social skills have come on so much.

I wish the school system.wasn't so rigid, it's not only summer born children who would benefit from starting school a year older, in the grand scheme of things as long as a child gets an education why should it matter if they start a year later?

I’m in Scotland so cutoff dates are different but I deferred both my DC (both have November birthdays which in Scotland would have put them in the middle of the age group like your DD would be in England). Best decision ever. It really made a difference during exam years too - the extra maturity really was a bonus.

There’s not been one downside. Well my youngest is in the last year of high school and will turn 18 next month and is suddenly going to find himself very popular which isn’t a plus when you’re an introvert. 😆

She’ll be 9 months younger than the eldest September born. She’ll be 14-15 months older than July and August born children who have gone into the correct year if she is deferred.s Schools should allow only allow deferrals if the children completely miss Reception and start Year 1 with their correct year group.

My experience (with school and out of school sport) is that it goes on school year.

So under-12s means “kids who were under 12 on 31st August” - ie the “normal” year 7 age. A child who turns 12 during the following twelve months stays with the u12 team for that whole academic year. Otherwise kids would be moving up every month which would make team selection/cohesion very tricky!

I honestly think there is far too much hand wringing about this. Sometimes I wonder if the only way to stop people insisting their child is at a disadvantage is to have ridiculously small school classes made up of September - November; December - February, march - may and June - August. Probably the November, February, May and August ‘cohorts’ would still complain!

I think deferring as an option is a good thing to consider if the child seems a bit behind in comparison to his peers (and it is primarily boys who are at a disadvantage here) otherwise it is madness!

I mean rejected the summer born request case so the child ended up going straight into Reception as standard admission. The parent reasons didn’t justify holding the child back, they hadn’t discussed or spoken to any schools. Thought they could have the choice of any school basically and bypass the Admissions entry criteria.

Summer born requests are not a parents right, it is a request. We would work very closely with the family to understand the needs, review any evidence they provide and if it was clear that the reasons aren’t actually to do with the child (so not in their best interests) then see what we can do to alleviate any concerns and inform them of other options such as part time or delayed start (January or April start). The allocate school would have to hold the place.

As the child is not of statutory school age, the parent does not have to send their child to school until the term after their 5th birthday so should they decide to do this and
/or any summer born request is rejected and they decide to wait until the following year then it is on the parent not the Admissions team or schools to justify to themselves why they have done that.

Different LA’s have different policies on summer born which can make things harder especially those children who move to another county/live and want a school in another county.

I would hope so too but there is nothing to say this can’t happen and some schools it is extremely difficult to work with them and doing the right thing for the child.

It would be incredibly harsh to do this but with LA having less authority over schools that are academies, some do what they want and we can only advise.

Don’t get me started with their waiting lists! Some don’t play by the rules and there is nothing we could do about it.

May is the middle of the year. Madness to defer. She will stick out like a sore thumb. As an ex-infant teacher had a similar age boy deferred and he was miserable. No friends as found the rest of his class ‘too babyish’.

My DS is an end of June baby and I was the youngest person in my school year. I absolutely wouldn’t defer unless there was a developmental issue. They form friendships, go to and have birthday parties, play, listen to stories, and generally have a great time. May isn’t particularly young - she’d be 4-5 months older than the next oldest child and well over a year older than the youngest. If she’s academically able she’ll be bored to tears. I’d at least try her, and if it doesn’t work out you could rethink it.

My youngest DD is end of May and also currently 3. Potty training also still not 100% and she’s a baby still 🥰. We will be sending her to school in Sept 2026 as from our experience with our oldest, the change from age 3 to 4 is huge. My advice though is apply this year and see how she does as the months go on, our LA allows deferrals for April to August.

if you did defer I wouldn’t be worried about her feeling older or any of the worries about football teams ages (got to love Mumsnet). She’ll always be totally fine if she is two months older than the September babies.

@LucyMay33its interesting to hear from your side. Do you think this is something LAs will start saying no more often to? What started as a good idea for prem babies/children with learning difficulties/late developing plus August birthday children has snowballed in to parents simply opting for it so that their child is ahead, of course using other children to achieve that. There has been some parents on this thread literally proudly stating it is good for their kids, seemingly not considering others at all.
it also must cost the LA an extra years funding, given that the op stated you can get an extra year of preschool funded; so I’d be surprised if they will contribute to be happy to fund this with no real valid reason.

Our school would either admit her straight to year 1.