Deferring a May born child

[Kingfisher4]

I have a daughter born 29th May. She is currently 3, due to start school next year.

I am currently thinking about deferring her, but only if she is able to start in reception the following year.

Would most people think that is crazy? She is not developmentally behind as such, although she is not fully toilet trained yet. I have been trying for months, but she still has more than one accident a day.

My reasoning is more based on how I feel about the education system in general. I don't mind reception as it's still very play based, but I hate the idea of 5 year olds going into key stage 1 and starting formal education so young. I have 3 older sons, none of them summer born, so have never been able to make this decision.

Have two full years in age between students in the same class is crazy though, in terms of ability - particularly at primary school age.

It makes the younger ones appear even further behind.

How on earth does this work with sports teams later on in school life?

Have you spoken to any of your local schools about their Y1 curriculum? I work in a primary school and they have recently reviewed Y1 and made it much more playbased, slowly transitioning over the year to prepare them for more formal learning in Y2.

I have a 3 year old born at the beginning of June and I can't see any reason to defer him at the moment, although he is also likely to be neurodivergent as DH & I both are. He loves school nursery (started this term) - maybe consider that prior to reception to test the waters with your DD & see how she manages?

I do think it would have consequences later. May isn’t young as such (and by deferring her it just shifts the problem as next year there will be children up to 16 months younger than her in the class- how is that fair?).
someone is always going to have to be the youngest and oldest.
by secondary there may well be a stigma around being so much older than her peers.

I totally agree with all of this. Why delay things for an entire year when there is no problem whatsoever? It’s almost like you’re hoping for some kind of developmental problem to occur.

Next September is a long way off and you can easily crack the toileting by then. Don’t hold her back because her brothers have issues and she’s likely to too. There is no sense in that.

I help in a school and in my limited experience perhaps in reception some of the summer borns (and I mean August babies) are less advanced but by Years 1 and 2 there is no difference.

I would only defer if you think there's a real need for it, not just disagreeing with school starting age.

I have two summer borns - one that deferred (and at the time I had to fight for him to start in reception rather than going into Y1) and one that I didn't.

Each decision was absolutely right for the child involved and made based on their specific needs at the time.

I can see most people here disagree, based mainly on social concerns. Remember, she is born at the end of May, and we have a long summer break. It would only be around 6 weeks of the academic year that she actually has her birthday ahead of everyone else.

What if she started school with combined years per class? I know of one local school that literally has the entire school in one classroom, and another school that singles out reception but groups year 1&2 3&4 5&6. Would that make it seem less of an issue do you think?

This isn't just based on my opinion of education -there is lots and lots of research out there supporting a delayed start to formal education.

How, if her birthday is at the end of May, will she only be potentially 6 weeks older?

A child born at the end of August will be a full three months younger than her.

Two years in a classroom would extend the issue. In Yr2, she would be 8 while others are still 5.

Do it. It’s my biggest regret not deferring my May born daughter. She really struggled academically.

year 1 is still learning quite play based learning. It’s KS2 where this changes. I have one August born baby and felt holding her back would only make her more behind.

I think later starts to formal education only work in countries that do that - I am not sure it would work in England with its highly regimented and highly under resourced schools - lack of funding means limited diversity is all that can be supported

she would be seen as likely to be less intelligent

No, I realise that she will still be 3 - 15 months older than her cohort, but some of the responses here make it sound like she will stick out like a sore thumb, when in actual fact it will only be a few weeks of the academic year that she would have her birthday before the older ones, so in reception year she will be 5 for most of the academic year, just like the September born.

They have to. It's not down to the LA.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/summer-born-children-school-admission/summer-born-children-starting-school-advice-for-parents

What if she wants to play sport with her classmates? What about if she wants to go to gigs with her classmates? There are practical considerations that may impact on her socially that need to be considered.

All these precious parents are making cohorts massive and blocking places for children who should be joining reception.

The difference between 4-5 and 5-6 is huge.

Year 1 children don't want to be the 'babies' in reception.

You're mostly describing little village schools, but the year groups would still move up in turn.
I think you're massively overthinking something that you haven't experienced yet. Children in reception do very limited formal learning and spend a very large part of the day in free play. Children born in summer aren't all automatically behind their peers, it's a lot more individual than that. As I said, my son's birthday is almost on the same day as your child's, and he has spent most of his school life (he's left school now) doing very well in school and definitely didn't suffer for it. For some children it might be right, but by no means all or most, and in the year before they start school children progress massively,

Personally I think it’s a bad idea. I have a may born and July born and will be keeping them both in their normal year group

Yes, that is exactly why I would like her to start school aged 5, as most research shows this to be most beneficial for children's development. She will always be the oldest in her year, so I doubt she'll feel like a baby.

You definitely need to check out how your LEA deal with it for reception entry, and Y7. Also grammar entry, if that is a thing round you.

FWIW, both mine are may born. For the first few years of primary l, my oldest (also dyslexic) probably would gave benefited from having been deferred. HOWEVER upper primary he fitted in will, and secondary he has absolutely flown. Having him a year behind right now would have stiffled him. He is totally ready.
His brother is an antisocial sod, but it has never crossed my mind he should have deferred.

Honestly, unless there is an educational or social reason that is already evident for deferral, I wouldn't do it.

Have you thought about the practical social implications of being out of year? Because you don’t seem to be addressing any of the posts on that topic.

She will feel like a baby when she's in reception and all her friends and cohort are in year 1.

She will be so much older than the other kids. The difference in 4-5-6 is huge.

Your child will be fine in the correct year group.

I think it’s an absolute joke that the system has to accommodate neurotic middle class parents worried about some perceived disadvantage to their child, who happens to be born in the perfectly normal age range for their cohort, frankly.

I think it’s different if there are clear concerns from nursery/preschool or SEN that suggest deferring would be beneficial, but in cases where a parent just doesn’t want their kid to be the youngest? Absolutely not. If you’re so worried about perceived disadvantage, put the work in at home to make sure she’s ready socially and academically.

I have been really interested in observing this in my DS’ class. He’s an August baby so young for the year but also one of 6 August babies in his class so not unusually so. There is another August baby who was deferred so is a whole year older and I think she struggles a bit more but I wonder if that’s partly because his year skews very young and she is quite visibly older than most of them.

Looking at his class, I do think a couple of the summer babies would have benefited from being deferred (and one is actually repeating Year 1 now). Much to my surprise, it’s the girls who are struggling much more than the boys but, again, that might just be the dynamics of his class than anything else.

Ultimately, it’s a very personal decision. Despite being young, DS was definitely ready for school. The structure and routine of the school day suits him very well and the curriculum still seems to be fun and play-based even in Year 2. He and a friend, for example, have a big ongoing Lego project that somehow relates to their English lessons. School has been brilliant for him. He was exceedingly quiet at nursery, didn’t make any friends and had poor social skills. By the end of the first term in Reception, I was amazed at how he had developed (and shed a tear when he had a speaking part in their school nativity). But that’s just my experience with my son and you know your child best.