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Original poster

College help pls - nothing sorted for my son yet 😔

156 replies

TiredButTryin5x · 09/07/2025 08:20

hiya, soz if this is in wrong place. just really stuck n don’t know who to ask.

my oldest ds is 15 (16 in aug) n finished gcse’s last month. we didn’t apply anywhere yet n i didn’t realise it had to be done already. school didn’t explain stuff too well or maybe i just didn’t understand it 😔

he’s not keen on 6th form n doesn’t wanna do loads more exams. he likes practical stuff more but don’t know what job he wants yet. i looked at new city college n saw some courses but not sure how to apply or what ones would suit him. he says “dunno” to everything i ask n just stays in his room all day.

i feel like i’ve let him down. just want to help him get on track. has anyone been through this? can we still apply or is it too late now? we live in romford if that helps xx

OP posts:
Megifer · 13/07/2025 17:52

tripleginandtonic · 13/07/2025 17:34

No school.visits to the local college? No mock interviews/CV compiling in form time? I find that surprising

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Nothing at all, I was really surprised tbh. I know things change but I remember when I was at that age there were lots of trips to colleges arranged, application forms given out, college reps coming to the school etc.

DS school have done absolutely nothing to guide them.

KatherineParr · 13/07/2025 18:10

We don't know what support the school have offered though. OP said there were talks but he never seemed to take it seriously and she didn't push it. It's not necessarily about lack of school support if they haven't even engaged with what was available at the time.

AelinAG · 15/07/2025 18:28

search your local council and ‘NEET’ it stands for not in education, employment or training, which is where your son is about to be at. This isn’t something councils want, so they have staff to support.

GamesLecturer · 15/07/2025 21:50

Justwaits · 10/07/2025 06:20

My advice?

Some people aren’t cut out for learning. Whether that is in a college environment or an apprenticeship.

op, he’s spending all his days in bed, he’s got zero plans and he’s going to fail his GCSE’s.

in your shoes, I’d be saying that I’ll pay for his phone etc until the end of the summer and then…. I will be paying for nothing aside from him living here and food. I would be encouraging him to get a job. Realistically it will be a very menial NMW job, and that will be if he’s lucky BUT he will be working, earning and living.

That's actually not bad advice. I've known a couple of young adults who did exactly this. Earning some money and work...away from education, in any job , can be a good first step. One lad ended up going to uni later but obviously had good grades to do so. Another had a few different jobs and is still figuring it out but has worked constantly since leaving school and is happy enough.

Snorlaxo · 16/07/2025 21:04

I have young adult kids and their minimum wage jobs helped them realise what they wanted to do and where their strengths were. This was mainly because of the new people they met and talking to people who were older than them opened their eyes to stuff that their age group don’t really think about like getting their own vehicle, LISA when they turn 18, saving for holidays…
My son was coasting badly at school but happily undertook all training available to him at work and is a model employee. Money is a great motivator.

LetsGoRoundAgainAgain · 21/07/2025 23:53

TiredButTryin5x · 12/07/2025 16:37

hiya, thanks for checking in ❤️ not contacted any colleges yet if i’m honest 😞 it’s just felt like one thing after another at home n i’ve not had the headspace. he’s still saying “dunno” to everything n just wants to game.

but what u said actually made me think. when he was little he loved building stuff with lego n was always messing with wires n old remotes, trying to “fix” things 😂 he’s always been really hands-on n good at figuring stuff out like that.

maybe something techy or practical could be good if i can get him to look properly. i’m gonna try sit down with him this week n look at courses at new city college or havering. he might not know what he wants long-term but like you said, doesn’t have to be forever, just a starting point. xx

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How's it been @TiredButTryin5x ? Have you sat down with him now?

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