College help pls - nothing sorted for my son yet 😔

[TiredButTryin5x]

hiya, soz if this is in wrong place. just really stuck n don’t know who to ask.

my oldest ds is 15 (16 in aug) n finished gcse’s last month. we didn’t apply anywhere yet n i didn’t realise it had to be done already. school didn’t explain stuff too well or maybe i just didn’t understand it 😔

he’s not keen on 6th form n doesn’t wanna do loads more exams. he likes practical stuff more but don’t know what job he wants yet. i looked at new city college n saw some courses but not sure how to apply or what ones would suit him. he says “dunno” to everything i ask n just stays in his room all day.

i feel like i’ve let him down. just want to help him get on track. has anyone been through this? can we still apply or is it too late now? we live in romford if that helps xx

That’s why I said give him to end of summer
but even if it’s cleaning wheelie bins cash in hand, the boy needs to be up and out and earning

Apprenticeships - many start in September but there’s some that start at other times.

@TiredButTryin5x

Is he your only / youngest? You'll lose more than child benefit if you are in receipt of anything that's linked to him being in education.

If that doesn't motivate him / you he needs to get a job.

I would take him to the college and speak to an advisor there, most should have people available to advise. He probably won’t be interviewed for anything now until after results day. Entry level and level 1 courses in my area fill up very quickly. Applications opened in October so it’s very late to apply. However, there may be something he can get onto no matter his results, most FE colleges will be set up to have some provision (if there is any space)

your local council should have a team that works with young people that are NEET (not in education, employment or training) or at risk of NEET. You should have heard from them really by now. Give them a ring and ask. Often working with this team will enable you to apply for an extension on child benefit for up to 20 weeks which may help.

@Mathsdebator it says in the third line of the OP that he is the oldest child.

From previous threads it’s apparent that he has three younger brothers and the OP is pregnant with her fifth child. She’s in an extremely difficult situation and hasn’t so far been able to provide her son with much, if any, guidance and support through school.

There's plenty guidance on college websites etc though. I admit I missed that he's the oldest, I'm not chewing through previous threads!

With so many DC is child benefit still impacted? Or will it just roll round to another child qualifying? Genuinely question as can't remember if they brought in a 3 child cap or nor?

If CB stops for the eldest then the second in age will get the higher rate.

It doesn't go on age. You can legally employ someone from the last Friday in June in the academic year they turn 16 whether or not they have actually reached that birthday or not. For OP's son that date was 2 weeks ago.

@TiredButTryin5x what were his predicted grades?
What did his teachers say at parents evening?
What were his target and predicted grades on his school reports?
I know you are in a difficult situation, but how much have you engaged with the school?

I'm struggling to believe that there has been no communication from school regarding post 16 education.

Even if he gets a job, he still needs an accredited college course alongside for at least 20% of his time.

Yes....but many companies simply won't.
Many don't even like employing 16/17 year olds (unless it's an official apprenticeship).
It's all pretty ridiculous if you ask me but that's the way it is.

Agree. I work for a company in a "trade". Around this time of year we are inundated with young people desperate to get some experience prior to enrolling on a college course or who want an apprentiship. Only last week I had someone begging for us to take him on for free (we would never do something so unethical) because he needed some practical experience for his college portfolio.

A young, inexperienced person would be of more hindrance than help. They would slow the job down. We are only prepared to do it if the YP is committed to proper training.

Technically yes but no one actually checks.
Basically if an employer is happy to give him a legit job and is following rules about hours that he can legally work etc then it is ok for him to be working.
(It's a grey area)
@TiredButTryin5x on your other thread I originally said to leave him alone (because after 12 years of school and the intensity of GCSEs I think teens deserve a 2 month break) however now I know there's more to this.
Something needs to be sorted for the next stage of his life.
He is probably completely overwhelmed poor lad 🙁
Do you know what his friends are planning to do in September (ie a specific college)?
Could you talk to any of their parents and say you are completely lost about the whole system and could they help you out.
Schools/Colleges tend to use a lot of jargon that means nothing if you haven't experienced that before but a fellow parent might be able to help.

I know a lot of young lads like OP's son and the ones who end up doing OK usually find the motivation because of money.

The ones whose parents subsidise their lazy lifestyles in the form of phones, nice clothes, gaming equipment, subscriptions etc are the ones more likely to not be able to find a job/get onto college course etc.

The ones who know their parents cannot afford to do that or whose parents simply refuse to are the ones who have to get off their backsides and either go to college or get a job/apprentiship.

This isn’t your issue to solve to be honest.

But if you’re really going to do it, ring the local colleges and ask if they have any open days coming up, if they’re still accepting people and if they offer meetings for you and your son to discuss things with someone.

If not your son needs to be enquiring with loc companies to start an apprenticeship.

Op, I don’t think that liking his Xbox and messing about on his phone is an indicative of an interest in computers. Has he ever programmed?

It seems to me he is not interested in studying and exams. You need to find a course that will lead to actual employment. You need to be realistic about his abilities and commitment.

something practical seems to be more suited. What about something in hospitality? Or something outdoors like tree surgery?

16 is too young for many yp to be planning their future themselves. OP a general IT course could be ok, but stay away from Games ones at this level, they aren't great for future employment. What subjects has he done better in across secondary school? Apply with him (or for him if needed) for a something which matches that.

@DaisyChain505 it sounds like he is a lost and overwhelmed 15 year old.
Why on earth is that not his mum's "issue to solve"? She's his mum.
They both need guidance.

Really? He's fifteen years old. Fifteen. And he should be left to sort this himself? This is something that could have ramifications for the rest of his life but she should shrug her shoulders and consider it 'not her problem'? It sounds like there's been entirely too much of that attitude if nobody has thought about what this kid is going to do after GCSEs until now.
I mean, there's encouraging independence and there's neglect. Leaving him to it would absolutely be the latter.

I don't know any 15 year olds who negotiate through our education system without parental support. It is unrealistic to expect them to do so.

I get the impression that the OP hasn't really engaged much with her son's education as she seems to have little idea what he is capable of.

It's either lack of engagement or it's rage bait given her other posts...

There’s one thing having conversations with a 15 YO about next steps after school but it should be the teenager’s responsibility to be making appointments and attending open days etc. The parent should be sorting all of that.

Yes she should be supporting him but not literally sorting it all for him.

It is unrealistic to expect ds to call around for apprenticeships when he doesn’t even know what he wants it in. Apprenticeships are often over subscribed with people who really want them - I’ve gone through this process with one of my kids who had to pass 4 stages before getting a yes.

It’s time to turn off the internet and ask him to narrow down to some actual options. For example does he see himself working outdoors? At a desk or on his feet? Did he do any practical courses for GCSE like Food Tech? Lots of kids play games and do stuff on their computers but wouldn’t want to sit at a desk for hours coding or creating digital art/animation. Did he do Computer Science at GCSE?

The others who brought up money are making a good point. Do you give him lots of pocket money so he lacks motivation to work ? I would tell him that pocket money in September is reliant on him working or going on a college course and that pocket money includes clothes, driving lessons, going out money, subscriptions like online console gaming and gym….