College help pls - nothing sorted for my son yet 😔

[TiredButTryin5x]

hiya, soz if this is in wrong place. just really stuck n don’t know who to ask.

my oldest ds is 15 (16 in aug) n finished gcse’s last month. we didn’t apply anywhere yet n i didn’t realise it had to be done already. school didn’t explain stuff too well or maybe i just didn’t understand it 😔

he’s not keen on 6th form n doesn’t wanna do loads more exams. he likes practical stuff more but don’t know what job he wants yet. i looked at new city college n saw some courses but not sure how to apply or what ones would suit him. he says “dunno” to everything i ask n just stays in his room all day.

i feel like i’ve let him down. just want to help him get on track. has anyone been through this? can we still apply or is it too late now? we live in romford if that helps xx

@DaisyChain505 you must know some extremely resourceful and confident 15 year olds. They aren't all the same. At 15 DD wouldn't say boo to a goose.

It took going to university and working for her to become as confident as she is. She deals with bolshie patients on a daily basis these days.

This.
Guidance is needed from an adult in this situation. The lad is 15 only.

We experienced some of the same challenges with motivation when our son left school @TiredButTryin5x Like your DS, he didn’t want to go on to sixth form and really disliked studying.

We didn’t panic—he enrolled in a Level 2 Electrical Installation course for a year, then spent another year doing various odd jobs. I honestly believe that time was invaluable for him. It gave him the space to figure things out, and the hands-on experience helped him realise what he didn’t want to do long-term.

Eventually, he grew tired of low-paid jobs with no opportunity to progress, and that clarity motivated him to pursue something more structured.

At 19 he’s just secured an apprenticeship placement with an international company, and I truly don’t believe he would have been ready for it without those two years of study and practical job experience.

Mine doesn’t have a clear plan but they’ve applied for sixth form and a couple of colleges. They’ve been invited along to meet tutors to help give them a better idea.

Still plenty of time to decide but get the ball rolling. We will decide fully once results are in.

I agree with everyone who says he needs some support and guidance. This is why kids of well educated/more affluent families tend to do well. It is self perpetuating. Those parents know what options are available nd how to navigate the system.

Sadly there is also a big difference in schools. Some schools don;t advise the YP very well. You have the schools who try and push A levels/university on everyone and then at the other end of the scale you have the schools who have low expectations for their students outcomes. Both are wrong. The best schools will advise students on a range of options according to aptitude and inclination. The best schools will advise and also help their students know how to apply for things.

OP you need to try and fill in the gaps before it is too late. My ds is neurodiverse so I did a lot of the research for him (though it helped he did have a passion in life and it is in an area related to my own experience). But the YP does have to show some gumption themselves.

That's what most on this thread are suggesting - helping him sort it. Not do it for him.

Is OP ever going to come back to the ongoing thread to read suggestions? I hope she will as everyone is offering constructive help but she has not commented in over 24 hours.

OP ha got a large family and currently pregnant again. She may be busy.

Colleges have Information and Guidance staff who can discuss options with op’s ds. The earlier they make contact the better. You need to be in a position to act quickly to enrol straight after gcse results come out to secure a place on popular courses.

I would imagine the OP is very busy looking up colleges and filling in forms with her son. As well as trying to locate a triple bunk bed and a double bunk bed. And persuading the oldest to give up his room to her.

All whilst looking after three other children, and managing exhaustion on this sweltering day!

(She has previously replied on her other threads, so I’d hope she’s acting on the advice given.)

Absolute rubbish. Until they are 18 it is the parent who should be sorting and organising everything.

DD's college next year sends all emails to both child and parent, has parent's evenings and gives parents complete oversight of attendance, modules, what child has or hasn't done and fully expects parental involvement.

Adults should not be corresponding with minors - major safe-guarding fail if they are.

Why would it be rage bait? Not everyone is born with a silver spoon and options all laid out.
Both OP and her son need help

That is not the case everywhere.

As an employer neither we or the college is allowed to correspond with the parent of our 16-17 apprentices without their express permission.

At the college ds went to as parents we were not allowed to apply for a place only ds was. There were parents evenings and some correspondence went to parents of under 18's but the young person has to apply themselves, the parent has no say in what they apply for.

There are students at that college who have no parental involvment.

I said rage bait given her other posts not based on this alone.

It’s not too late! I work in this field. Call their school liaison dept or admissions team (we work all summer!) ask to pop in and have a look tound. At the same time browse the courses on line and see what type of thing he fancies, and see what each course needs gcse wise depending on what he’s predicted. There’s a course for all - just different levels depending on ability. Enrolment will be at gcse results day. But you can still apply now. If he’s smart but doesn’t fancy a levels, look at t levels - new thing that can still get you to uni if you want. Good luck!

Is he interested in cooking? Fitness? Construction? Military? My son was torn between culinary and fitness so we went to a couple open days at the local colleges. The fitness instructor at one won him over and he’s now a qualified PT and fitness trainer. The application process was easy, he did have an interview and he had to get his Math and English GCSE (though there were classes and retakes available if not). Google some local colleges see what they offer.

The only advice I can give is make sure he gets a job and not scrounge of you while he is studying.

‘Scrounge’ is an odd word to use of a child who will probably be only just 16 when/if he begins year 12 study. It’s not unreasonable that his parent(s) should support him to a greater or lesser extent. It’s certainly not his fault that in this instance his mother is struggling.

There may be practical courses he may be interested Design Technology, building trade, electrician etc all skilled careers are in demand. Outdoor work gardening etc. Good luck!

My dad left school at 14 and went straight to work. I worked from the age of 16 and so did my partner and our children. It gives them responsibilities and teaches them about money. He should work regardless whether the op is struggling or not. I was adamant my own children had to work and they loved getting their own money.

I second this. He will earn good money if he gets into a trade. He can earn between £2500 to £6000 a month if not more. My partner started off in the building trade in the 90's and was earning £150 per day back then. When he buys his big house he can move the op in.

Just to say OP, my DS ( 17) went straight to work after the summer holiday ended. He pot washed and now he’s a trainee chef. No college or study, just hard work, a lovely team who look after him and money in his pocket. He’s learning to drive, has his theory booked and now he’s car hunting. He’s also saving for a house. When he’s tired of working min wage, he will progress and even go to college.

Your DS is a young one, can he do a paper round until he turns 16? Honestly, there are SO many college courses out there now. Even basic independent living skills type courses. Once he’s enrolled, the college can guide abd support. Don’t allow him to fall off the radar!

OP there's something seriously wrong if you don't know what he might get, don't know what he got in his mocks and don't know what his predicted grades were 🤨

Have you not gone to a parents evening or read his report?

I agree. There seems to have been a lack of engagement from both parent and child.

If he doesn't hate the idea of construction skills, then it might not be a terrible idea. 30 years in construction, some of my best site managers started "on the tools".