Play date with mum who agrees with education tax

[BonnuitMy]

Please let me know if I’m overreacting. I recently overheard a new mum at school talking about a local private school closing down due to the education tax and how this is somehow a good thing. She’s now invited my DD for a play date, would you accept?

I don’t think the implication was that teaching was easier than career academia. Just that it was seen as less prestigious.

I'm assuming that you don't send your child to private school so you aren't 'buying privilege' but your objection is that the application of VAT is pricing some families out of private education and causing some schools to close, thereby 'punishing' the children.

However, your refusal to let your child have a playdate with this woman's child is also 'punishing' the children. Neither child has done anything wrong and you have said that this woman's child seems nice. Do you intend to only let your child socialise with children whose parents have exactly the same political views as you?

I saw a fascinating address from an American Professor (Possibly Yale or Harvard) to a student group about this recently. He talks about how how much parents have invested in their education, how much expectation there is on them to study at top institutions, how they have achieved great things in their studies but then how much pressure there is now for them to go on and have successful well paid careers in order to be able to pay for their children to attend elite schools in order to perpetuate the cycle. Ultimately he was pointing out the enormous pressure that goes hand in hand with this type of system, when success in life is measured in such specific & economic ways.

She absolutely sneered. She said teaching (for eg) wasn’t an ‘acceptable’ career in her circles. That’s sneering I’m afraid.

That’s fair. I’ve taught in private schools as well as state schools and both have lovely and not-so-lovely parents.

However, your refusal to let your child have a playdate with this woman's child is also 'punishing' the children

I totally agree with this.

Yes we know - thanks to the old school tie network and the bias in many systems people from your school have a huge sense of entitlement that comes from the massive leg up buying education gives you but it’s no reflection of talent - look at the last government!

many of our kids had to work so hard in poorly funded schools to achieve the grades they needed to go to uni - while working since 16 to give them money parents couldn’t supply.

They face the hardship of making end meet, working and completing a degree which gives them much better life skills and an employment history.

one of mine went to a RG one didn’t - both will have a degree and both have career aims - I’m sure they won’t meet your approval but social work and public policy are both worthy despite not being £150k financial jobs 😂

all you are doing is buying the easy route

some people would consider a peer group where those sorts of careers are seen as acceptable (or even aspirational) to be a misfortune.

Nope. She didn’t say this was her view, she didn’t say it was right, she merely stated that these views existed, in response to someone asking why state schools might be seen as a misfortune.

What you’re doing is exactly what I’ve described in the comment to which you’ve responded.

That’s all probably true. It doesn’t change anything, though.

Nope, she said she (and people who went to her school) wouldn’t see these careers as ‘acceptable’. That’s sneering. Pointing out that having those attitudes could be seen as unfortunate isn’t sneering.

Which is the whole reason some of us think private education is bad for the country and bad for the majority of children. Possibly for all of them. Thanks for demonstrating that so clearly.

Do you remember his name? As it sounds like a really interesting address!

Hot housing mediocre talent and buy a way into ‘prestigious’ careers - that’s why many parents choose private education

Buying

That’s not what she said. I literally quoted what she said.

You’re being super weird and gaslighty, so I’ll leave you to it. She clearly doesn’t care.

How infantilising to have had parents who felt that personally undermined by the lowly careers of their expensively-educated offspring.

@ForZanyAquaViewer unfortunately not and I did a quick search that’s not unearthed it. It was really interesting as he was pointing out that the privilege and expectations of ‘success’ for these students put them under enormous pressure to deliver.

Imagine knowing your parents thought you were a failure because you weren’t getting paid a certain amount or your grades weren’t top of the class. It’s a brutal way to judge people and to live life ever chasing economic success.

Yeah, thanks for the defence, but I genuinely don’t give a toss.

@ghostyslovesheets Hot housing mediocre talent and buy a way into ‘prestigious’ careers - that’s why many parents choose private education

Your comment is just as offensive as the poster who expressed a view to which several people have taken exception.

It’s mad - you see it on HE forums a lot - especially when they get min loan - the parents feel that because they are paying they should decide the degree, the career route etc

at 18 my kids were adults and made their own choice - they continue to do so

they are healthy, happy, well rounded adults not an extension of me!

Yes. She said it would be a misfortune to have a peer group who thought teaching was acceptable. What are you missing?
Edit: she also said, and I quote “those aren’t career paths people take if they went to my school”.

Oh dear

but it still leaves the question of why , with exception of high needs Sen provision, parents feel they have to pay thousands for their kids education unless they feel they wouldn’t achieve in the state sector

Because state education is woefully underfunded.

So the private school people are buying privilege then?
Which is what we’ve all been saying.

Nope. Although that correct in theory, and through the accounts it is pass through, the charging level is down to the business. Market rates change prices more than VAT rates do.