Play date with mum who agrees with education tax

[BonnuitMy]

Please let me know if I’m overreacting. I recently overheard a new mum at school talking about a local private school closing down due to the education tax and how this is somehow a good thing. She’s now invited my DD for a play date, would you accept?

My state educated DD has a 2:1 and works for Victim Support, helping people who have been victims of all sorts of horrible crimes. I’m sure I, too, should be ‘bitterly disappointed’ but instead am incredibly proud of her for wanting (and being able) to help vulnerable people.

@Soontobesingles I even predicted that someone would be along to show that they don’t understand the policy.

Eh, you can be as indignant as you like. It’s the reality of British society. I don’t have any issue with teachers, quantity surveyors or people in sales. But, those aren’t career paths people take if they went to my school. So, people can pretend there’s no difference between the outcomes of state and private education, but it’s nonsense.

😀

I notice you only answered one of my points, @BonnuitMy - that your dd is in a good state school.

What about my other points - why is it a misfortune for children to have to attend a state school?

And why do you have to agree with the parent’s political views before you will agree to a play date? Surely you can either avoid political topics, or, if the subject does come up, put forward your opinion, politely and non-judgementally.

I have friends who don’t share all the same political opinions as I do - hell, my dh has different political leanings to me - but generally we can discuss them politely and respectfully, listen to each other’s opinions, and agree to differ without falling out.

Blimey, that's rude.

Who are you to determine what careers are "acceptable"?

FYI I was state educated and now have a job that even you might approve of, but I don't think it makes me better than other people.

I’ve taught in private schools. I can assure you many become teachers etc. and many don’t make the professions at all.
If your school actively dissuaded people from fulfilling and useful careers because - well why? Sounds like money - it’s not somewhere I’d want my children attending.
Again, how did you feel about your children’s/your private schools teachers? Did you look down on them too? Do you acknowledge how crucial they were to your ‘success’?
And state school children become all sorts of things.

This is the kind of Shit that makes people think Privately educated people are arseholes.
I want my DC to have careers and lives that they enjoy and if thats Teaching, Sales or whatever else I am fine with that.
I WOULD be disappointed if they looked down on people because of their jobs though.

Sigh. You can have this argument with yourself.

Like I said, be as indignant as you like. It doesn’t change anything.

What a horrible, snobby post.
You are the type of self important crashing snob who gives private education a bad name.

As you've very clearly demonstrated, main difference in outcome being that people who go to private schools look down their nose at everyone else

SOME people

@ForZanyAquaViewer I’m really sorry to hear that your parents would have been bitterly disappointed in you for choosing a career of service.

The implied equivalence between secondary teaching and being a career academic is a false one - by which I mean the idea that secondary teachers are people with a bit of subject knowledge who just weren’t good enough to be academics. The only time I’ve previously heard anyone draw this inaccurate parallel was a privately-educated friend - this person aspired to be an academic themselves (and is now a successful one). Having been educated at one of the more exclusive private schools, their experience of teaching was predominantly lecture-style. This can work relatively well in private schools where prior knowledge is often good and literacy is high, and teachers typically don’t have to think as hard about the processes of learning to get good outcomes; pedagogically, though, it has real weaknesses. Consequently, my friend viewed secondary teachers as failed academics and, when they described their experience of being taught, where the main knowledge they could see at play was subject knowledge, I could see where this assumption came from. Teaching successfully at secondary level in the state sector, particularly in challenging schools, requires significant pedagogical and behavioural management skill. Strong subject knowledge is important, but naturally quite a bit less so than it is for an academic. The knowledge and skillset required to be a secondary school teacher, especially in state schools, is quite significantly different to the knowledge and skillset required to be a career academic.

Ah yes sorry, people who went to private school look down their nose at SOME people, namely those people who aren't in the parent-approved high flying careers

quite bitterly disappointed with those career choices.
You are a reprehensible snob and your post shows all the reasons why private education really should be banned.
I'd suggest you read either of these books - but I suspect there would really be no point.
Both of my children are state educated and both are musicians - I'm sure in your world fellow parents would have died of apoplexy at the thought.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius
Ignore the troll.

It isn’t changing your opinion, no. I can see that. Doesn’t make your attitude any more positive though.
Again. How did you view your own teachers?

Well SOME people who went to State School have a chip on their shoulder it seems

When you see views as expressed here looking down on the 93% of people who went to state school (it’s a misfortune apparently, and a red flag for being nasty to children if you don’t view it as such) and the attitude expressed by one poster to careers she sees as ‘unacceptable’ to anyone who attended private school is it any wonder people feel a little negatively towards them?

Well said @UnintentionalArcher
I think posters like @ForZanyAquaViewer have lived in such a sheltered little bubble that they have no idea what life is like outside it.

Teaching children who don't want to learn or who come from troubled backgrounds without parental support is a skill, and I take my hat off to teachers who can impart knowledge into these children.

I imagine that teachers in private education or very selective grammar schools must find it quite easy teaching children who want to learn and who don't need the crowd control skills a teacher at a "sink school" requires.

@ForZanyAquaViewer is being jumped on for no reason. A poster asked why going to state school might be seen as a disadvantage and she answered. She didn’t sneer or look down at anyone, just provided factual information about how some people live and feel. She also didn’t say it was right!

On a statistical level, private education is an advantage. Certain careers are broadly considered more prestigious than others. And people from certain backgrounds would find some career choices disappointing. Acknowledging this doesn’t make anyone a snob.

On posts like this, whenever people are confronted with the stark realities of British society, they turn on the messenger.

My state-educated DD goes to a prestigious university with a lot of privately educated people. Some are obnoxious arses. Most are fine - if a little out of touch with the Common People. She's doing better academically than the majority.

Not everyone at private school has these opinions. Yes, there are some unpleasant people with unpleasant views at private school, but this applies to state schools as well. There are unpleasant people in all walks of life. We shouldn’t generalise.

So what?

Not at all, which is why I commented that the person looking down on State school educated people gave Private school kids/parents a bad name.
However, its completely unfair to claim any group of people are the same and/or hold the same views.
Private school parents are not all snobs any more than state school parents are all scum.

Please don’t characterise all those who were privately-educated by the remarks of one individual. This poster’s attitude is more likely to be formed by the values exhibited at home. As a mother whose DC is about to start pre-prep this September (so a long way off the job market) I would be most proud if she used her abilities later in life to help the most vulnerable. Her beliefs are far more likely to be influenced by us, her parents and first educators, than anyone else. Saying that, we also chose a school that aligned with our own values, much like any parent. I would be disappointed if she ever expressed the same sentiment as the previous poster. Fortunately I don’t think that would EVER happen.