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Education

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Play date with mum who agrees with education tax

924 replies

BonnuitMy · 21/06/2025 12:41

Please let me know if I’m overreacting. I recently overheard a new mum at school talking about a local private school closing down due to the education tax and how this is somehow a good thing. She’s now invited my DD for a play date, would you accept?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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BonnuitMy · 21/06/2025 16:05

eeemes · 21/06/2025 16:04

You have literally told us that you have opposing views to anyone who agrees that parents should pay VAT when they choose to buy the privilege of a private education over a state education. When you pay for a private education, that is ‘buying privilege’, is it not? And you don’t want your child to go on a play date with a child whose mum’s views oppose yours. You even go as far as calling her views bigoted, which is a bit rich (excuse the pun), when most people would argue that agreeing with buying privilege without paying VAT is the more bigoted view.

I’m so confused!! I’m going to have a lie down

OP posts:
Lins77 · 21/06/2025 16:05

ThisTicklishFatball · 21/06/2025 15:53

While concerns about inequality in education are valid, framing private education as purely “exclusionary” oversimplifies a complex issue.
Families who choose to pay for private schooling are often making significant financial sacrifices to provide what they believe is the best possible education for their children — one that aligns with their values, educational goals, or specialized needs.
Private schools can offer smaller class sizes, tailored curricula, and more extracurricular opportunities — not because state schools are inferior by default, but because private institutions often operate with more flexibility and autonomy. Rather than being about exclusion, many parents see it as a proactive investment in their child’s development.
Moreover, private education indirectly benefits the public sector by relieving pressure on state-funded schools, allowing resources to stretch further.
Instead of viewing private education with resentment, a more productive approach is to advocate for higher standards and funding in all schools — public or private — so every child has access to a high-quality education, regardless of income.
Parents who send their children to private schools pay more in taxes than others. In doing so, they help financially sustain the state education system, even though they don’t use it.

This sounds very much like AI.

Notonthestairs · 21/06/2025 16:06

You asked if you were overreacting - yes you are.

I speak from experience that you don't need to match policy analysis with your children's friends parents. It's fine to have different views as long as the children get along together and the parent will act kindly towards them in your absence.

MilkyBarsAreOnMee · 21/06/2025 16:08

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 21/06/2025 15:48

You're being deliberately goady now.

Yup - and deliberately obtuse.

Icanttakethisanymore · 21/06/2025 16:12

I’m not sure why you posted OP, apart from to start yet another thread about vat of school fees. You clearly already made your mind up.

cardibach · 21/06/2025 16:13

Lins77 · 21/06/2025 16:05

This sounds very much like AI.

I thought this. And it also rehashes the idea of people making sacrifices and being able to afford private school as a result. The vast majority of families couldn’t afford it however many sacrifices they made - unless they included giving up food and shelter for everyone else, I suppose…

somethinggoodisgonnahappen · 21/06/2025 16:13

The examples of school children from countries at war with each other yet who manage to behave with civility to each other are something to ponder when you lie down OP.

Also do think about the results of your poll.

SuziQuinto · 21/06/2025 16:14

somethinggoodisgonnahappen · 21/06/2025 16:13

The examples of school children from countries at war with each other yet who manage to behave with civility to each other are something to ponder when you lie down OP.

Also do think about the results of your poll.

👏 👏 👏

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:18

cardibach · 21/06/2025 16:05

No it’s not. You don’t pay back at all if you don’t earn over the threshold. It’s not like a ‘normal’ debt.

Omg. The threshold is £21k!! It’s so low that almost everyone has to, after that it’s 9% and if you’re a relatively low earner it can massively eat into your living standards and ability to make other savings.

If you’re a higher earner it is much less as a ppn of your income and thf cheaper. So I’d argue it is dependent on how rich you are as to whether you think it’s the right thing for you or not!

BiscuitBotherer · 21/06/2025 16:22

Amazing. I didn’t think the OP could’ve made herself sound more like a bigger arse than in her original post, and yet here we are.

Neemie · 21/06/2025 16:25

Dinosaurshoebox · 21/06/2025 14:03

Yes, but it would still be an improvement. Something is better than nothing.

We used to attract a lot of international school students here but we are starting to lose out to competition abroad and then they don’t stay on to university or want to work here. I think we are take our global position for granted. Other countries don’t so much.

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:32

Neemie · 21/06/2025 16:25

We used to attract a lot of international school students here but we are starting to lose out to competition abroad and then they don’t stay on to university or want to work here. I think we are take our global position for granted. Other countries don’t so much.

We are also losing thousands of high achieving students to foreign universities because of quotas on deprivation, postcodes, schooling etc.

people who will become the entrepreneurs and employers and thinkers of the future. All heading off at the start of their career to a country that wants them rather than one where they’re derided for growing up in Richmond and not Rotherham. Meanwhile we’ll be churning out indoctrinated lemmings who grow up thinking that the best way to create opportunity for themselves is to take it away from others.

Way to go UK education, woohoo! You go fly that flag and wonder why the best brains leave and no one wants to come

somethinggoodisgonnahappen · 21/06/2025 16:44

This reply has been deleted

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CaptainMyCaptain · 21/06/2025 16:49

Soontobesingles · 21/06/2025 15:13

It’s not ‘taxing education’. It’s removing the tax exemption that private schools could claim by (dubiously) having ‘charitable’ status, despite being businesses! It’s a tax loophole closure. You may disagree with it, but it’s hard to see how this disagreement could calcify to fear and hatred for someone who has the opposite view.

I don't understand how the OP and her couple of supporters can't see this.

cardibach · 21/06/2025 16:49

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:18

Omg. The threshold is £21k!! It’s so low that almost everyone has to, after that it’s 9% and if you’re a relatively low earner it can massively eat into your living standards and ability to make other savings.

If you’re a higher earner it is much less as a ppn of your income and thf cheaper. So I’d argue it is dependent on how rich you are as to whether you think it’s the right thing for you or not!

i don’t agree with loans. But the fact remains they don’t have to be repaid if you don’t earn enough. Suggesting that massively puts off working class students - far more than the loans themselves do.
It’s 9% of whatever is over £21k. It’s essentially a graduate tax. I benefitted from not having it, my daughter pays it. I get it.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 21/06/2025 16:51

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/06/2025 15:57

All of my dc went to state schools, from Reception through to Sixth form, @BonnuitMy. One has a law degree and a good career in quantity surveying. The second has a degree in Applied Maths and a PGCE, and is a high school maths teacher. The third has a degree in Geography and a good job in sales. I fail to see how them having to go to state schools was a ‘misfortune’.

And I don’t think people are saying you are ‘buying privilege’ by having second thoughts about a play date - they think you are buying privilege by paying for private education for your child (if, indeed, you are doing so - it isn’t clear to me).

But my question is similar to the one others have asked - why do you have to agree with the parent’s political views before you will agree to a play date? Surely you can either avoid political topics, or, if the subject does come up, put forward your opinion, politely and non-judgementally.

I have friends who don’t share all the same political opinions as I do - hell, my dh has different political leanings to me - but generally we can discuss them politely and respectfully, listen to each other’s opinions, and agree to differ without falling out.

None of those are exactly high flying careers. I was privately educated and I don’t know a single person who teaches at secondary level (I know a few career academics) or works in sales. Our parents would have been quite bitterly disappointed with those career choices.

This is not to say that there’s anything wrong with them, but some people would consider a peer group where those sorts of careers are seen as acceptable (or even aspirational) to be a misfortune.

TheTealZebra · 21/06/2025 16:51

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:32

We are also losing thousands of high achieving students to foreign universities because of quotas on deprivation, postcodes, schooling etc.

people who will become the entrepreneurs and employers and thinkers of the future. All heading off at the start of their career to a country that wants them rather than one where they’re derided for growing up in Richmond and not Rotherham. Meanwhile we’ll be churning out indoctrinated lemmings who grow up thinking that the best way to create opportunity for themselves is to take it away from others.

Way to go UK education, woohoo! You go fly that flag and wonder why the best brains leave and no one wants to come

Perhaps the entrepreneurs, employers and thinkers of the future could come from Rotherham?

ghostyslovesheets · 21/06/2025 16:52

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:18

Omg. The threshold is £21k!! It’s so low that almost everyone has to, after that it’s 9% and if you’re a relatively low earner it can massively eat into your living standards and ability to make other savings.

If you’re a higher earner it is much less as a ppn of your income and thf cheaper. So I’d argue it is dependent on how rich you are as to whether you think it’s the right thing for you or not!

Depends on the tax level you are on - dd graduates in July - she can earn near to £28k before paying it back - the 9% is only taken from any earnings over that - initially it could be £5 a month

saraclara · 21/06/2025 16:53

Are you going to question all your daughter's friends parents on their political views before she can play with them?

That was going to be my post!

My own kids had school friends from all kinds of backgrounds, and I'm pretty certain that all of us parents will have had quite different political views and opinions. But it's not something I gave any thought to. I doubt that my kids were subjected to any political rants when they were primary school age and playing at their friends' houses.

By the time they were teens, and more likely to be aware of friends' parents' opinions, they'd just come home and tell me that 'Jane's dad's got some weird ideas'.

Our kids were brought up with our values, and I trusted them as teenagers, to know bigotry etc when they came across it.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/06/2025 16:54

BonnuitMy · 21/06/2025 15:38

Education is a luxury now comrade?

No. Education is available for every child at no cost to the parents.

cardibach · 21/06/2025 16:54

ForZanyAquaViewer · 21/06/2025 16:51

None of those are exactly high flying careers. I was privately educated and I don’t know a single person who teaches at secondary level (I know a few career academics) or works in sales. Our parents would have been quite bitterly disappointed with those career choices.

This is not to say that there’s anything wrong with them, but some people would consider a peer group where those sorts of careers are seen as acceptable (or even aspirational) to be a misfortune.

Oh ffs what a horrible, snobby, self important attitude!
How would your impressively careered friends have go5 there without secondary school teachers?
Words fail me for parents who would be ‘bitterly disappointed’ if their children became teachers, quantity surveyors or who worked (the horror) in sales.

Hoppinggreen · 21/06/2025 16:56

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/06/2025 16:49

I don't understand how the OP and her couple of supporters can't see this.

Because its wrong?
Many many Private schools are NOT charities and whether they are or not has nothing to do with the application of VAT.
Private schools who were not charities did not charge VAT and now they do
No loophole involved.
There was no VAT on Private education and now there is

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/06/2025 16:57

Thank you, @cardibach! I am proud of all three of my sons - they all have good degrees, and are hard workers who are contributing to society. They are happy, well adjusted, have good friends, each have a partner who loves them and whom they love - they are roaring successes, in my book!

cardibach · 21/06/2025 16:58

ShelleyShortcake · 21/06/2025 16:32

We are also losing thousands of high achieving students to foreign universities because of quotas on deprivation, postcodes, schooling etc.

people who will become the entrepreneurs and employers and thinkers of the future. All heading off at the start of their career to a country that wants them rather than one where they’re derided for growing up in Richmond and not Rotherham. Meanwhile we’ll be churning out indoctrinated lemmings who grow up thinking that the best way to create opportunity for themselves is to take it away from others.

Way to go UK education, woohoo! You go fly that flag and wonder why the best brains leave and no one wants to come

I thought we were full to the brim and overrun with immigration (most of which is on a visa)? Now it seems we are so horrible nobody wants to live here.
Your premise about ‘indoctrinated lemmings who grow up thinking that the best way to create opportunity for themselves is to take it away from others’ is nonsense too. If teachers could indoctrinate, we would start with indoctrinating to bring a pen/do some homework/be polite. The second part is ironic in the extreme from someone who is happy to buy opportunities for themselves which others can’t.

Another76543 · 21/06/2025 16:58

Soontobesingles · 21/06/2025 15:13

It’s not ‘taxing education’. It’s removing the tax exemption that private schools could claim by (dubiously) having ‘charitable’ status, despite being businesses! It’s a tax loophole closure. You may disagree with it, but it’s hard to see how this disagreement could calcify to fear and hatred for someone who has the opposite view.

Bingo! It was only a matter of time that a supporter of the policy showed that they don’t understand the very basics. The VAT situation has absolutely nothing to do with charitable status. They are two entirely separate issues. The charitable status of some schools (some never had charitable status) hasn’t changed. It wasn’t a loophole. It was a specific exemption in the legislation which has now been removed.