Play date with mum who agrees with education tax

[BonnuitMy]

Please let me know if I’m overreacting. I recently overheard a new mum at school talking about a local private school closing down due to the education tax and how this is somehow a good thing. She’s now invited my DD for a play date, would you accept?

Then you haven't seen the endless threads on this subject on this website.

It's patently obvious that most people disagree with your viewpoint.

Let me share something with you, @BonnuitMy A couple of years ago I had a yr12 class, in that class, a boy was Palestinian, and a girl was Israeli. You know what? They got on. They were friendly and courteous and never let the situation encroach into the school environment, into their learning or impact on others This is because, even though they were only 17, they understood about differences and about compromise.
It seems you're unable to do this, over something far less significant. Shame.

Not particularly I guess, but if someone could spell out how I’m ‘buying privilege’ by having second thoughts about a play date I would be grateful.

OP seems very sure she is right to avoid a woman who she has decided is cruel and probably stupid. So I'm not sure of the point of the thread, other than to wind people up on a contentious issue. Which it has certainly done.

You're being deliberately goady now.

There is an assumption, given your views, that your kids attend private school. That’s what the original comment was about. But I expect that you know that and were waiting to do the gotcha if they don’t.

I don’t really think that you’re actually as thick as you’re coming across, just on a wind up.

The fact that you can’t bear the idea of someone having a different opinion to you speaks for itself. As previously asked - are you going to police all the parents of your child’s friends?

It is a tax on private schools.
Incorrect. It’s a tax on those paying the fees, not the schools themselves.

It is definitely not an education tax!
It’s a tax on education services. The legislation lays it out in black and white. “The provision of education by a private school” is taxed. It is, by its very definition, a tax on education.

Anyone else think this is a goady troll post ?

I haven't seen any posts which suggest this OP.

What everyone is saying is that you're being inflexible and bigoted.

It wouldn't surprise me.

You can click on view quote history

Have also seen this with Russian and Ukrainian children.

TBH op, I would be wary of her. Not because of her views on the tax - anyone is entitled to any view they want. But the thing that’d make me wary is that she thinks it ok to gob off in the playground, saying that it’s a good thing that this tax caused a massive decrease in pupil numbers at a local school and it closed. That is obviously very problematic for many - the staff who lost jobs, the kids whose school closed. To feel gloaty about that and to voice that gloatiness publicly is pretty fucking nasty and intolerant. So I would be wary, but let your dd go round anywya.

Ok, I’ll go on the f*ing play date!!

Yet every child in the UK is entitled to free education, so it's an entirely avoidable tax.

We're talking about private education. Do you not think private education is a luxury? Why would a parent typically choose it for their child instead of sending them to a state school?

Come on, I know you can work this out.

While concerns about inequality in education are valid, framing private education as purely “exclusionary” oversimplifies a complex issue.
Families who choose to pay for private schooling are often making significant financial sacrifices to provide what they believe is the best possible education for their children — one that aligns with their values, educational goals, or specialized needs.
Private schools can offer smaller class sizes, tailored curricula, and more extracurricular opportunities — not because state schools are inferior by default, but because private institutions often operate with more flexibility and autonomy. Rather than being about exclusion, many parents see it as a proactive investment in their child’s development.
Moreover, private education indirectly benefits the public sector by relieving pressure on state-funded schools, allowing resources to stretch further.
Instead of viewing private education with resentment, a more productive approach is to advocate for higher standards and funding in all schools — public or private — so every child has access to a high-quality education, regardless of income.
Parents who send their children to private schools pay more in taxes than others. In doing so, they help financially sustain the state education system, even though they don’t use it.

Your poor little girl, her own mother denying her a playdate with a lovely little girl because her mother doesn't agree with you !

Parents of those who choose private education definitely do not necessarily pay more tax than those who don't choose it. Many people just don't choose private education, it doesn't mean they don't earn enough to pay for it if they wished to.

Honestly, you sound a bit unhinged, and it’s sad that your child is only ever going to mix with people who think like you do until they are independent enough to see this for what it is. One of my kids best friends since kindergarten parents are very vocal against any form of private education or private health. Whoopty doo. We sent some of our kids to private school (those for whom it was better suited and those who wanted to go, those who didn’t went to public), and we have private health. 20 years later my child and that child are still best friends! Kids learn that different people have different opinions and this is allowed, this is a good thing.

I suggest you stump up the VAT education tax & move your daughter to a private school immediately @BonnuitMy! You can support the number on roll at private school and avoid people like this other mum with her undesirable views coming anywhere near your dd - win win eh!

All of my dc went to state schools, from Reception through to Sixth form, @BonnuitMy. One has a law degree and a good career in quantity surveying. The second has a degree in Applied Maths and a PGCE, and is a high school maths teacher. The third has a degree in Geography and a good job in sales. I fail to see how them having to go to state schools was a ‘misfortune’.

And I don’t think people are saying you are ‘buying privilege’ by having second thoughts about a play date - they think you are buying privilege by paying for private education for your child (if, indeed, you are doing so - it isn’t clear to me).

But my question is similar to the one others have asked - why do you have to agree with the parent’s political views before you will agree to a play date? Surely you can either avoid political topics, or, if the subject does come up, put forward your opinion, politely and non-judgementally.

I have friends who don’t share all the same political opinions as I do - hell, my dh has different political leanings to me - but generally we can discuss them politely and respectfully, listen to each other’s opinions, and agree to differ without falling out.

We’re at a very nice state school.

You have literally told us that you have opposing views to anyone who agrees that parents should pay VAT when they choose to buy the privilege of a private education over a state education. When you pay for a private education, that is ‘buying privilege’, is it not? And you don’t want your child to go on a play date with a child whose mum’s views oppose yours. You even go as far as calling her views bigoted, which is a bit rich (excuse the pun), when most people would argue that agreeing with buying privilege without paying VAT is the more bigoted view.

No it’s not. You don’t pay back at all if you don’t earn over the threshold. It’s not like a ‘normal’ debt.