Stop blaming teachers for your child’s behaviour

[Woolfatthedoor]

I’m so fed up of my partner return home from school exhausted and mentally drained due to the appalling behaviour of some of their year six pupils.
Heaven forbid they are reprimanded. Then a slurry of emails accusing the teacher of ‘shouting’ at their innocent kids.
My Partner and several colleagues are at the point ot resigning.
They are experienced teachers who love teaching yet these kids make teaching intolerable.
If feels like these kids are not set any boundaries at home therefore come to school with a degree of arrogance.
Parents don’t seem to take any accountability for their children’s behaviour siding with them against the teacher who just wants to teach the rest of the class.

100%. I cannot fathom why plastics are t being talked about EVERYONE

But everything you’ve written is essentially pseudo science.

I feel like every time another pertinent question is asked about neurodiversity, some kind of complicated yet vague answer is constructed and then becomes the default response even though there’s no evidence to it. Such as ‘we have an autism unfriendly environment now’ (despite greater flexibility, more tech etc), ‘masking’ (toddlers can’t mask and I would be surprised if a 4/5 year old could), ‘schools are stricter, they used to be so relaxed so it was easier to hide’ (really?? Schools seem like theme parks now).

What I can’t get past is that there is actually no concrete test whatsoever for either autism or ADHD. When the symptom net is so wide, how can you confidently say that Alex who is very clever and socially awkward has exactly the same thing as Amy who can’t speak at 5 and spends all day rocking and lining up toys? You can’t. I feel like we’ve stretched autism and ADHD to mean basically any behaviour outside of a narrow stream of ‘normal’, and that can range from slight variances to somebody who is very disabled and unable to communicate.

There are so many unanswered questions about it and I have a gut feeling we’ll be astonished at what we allowed to unfold without a proper evidence base, like we have with children who have gender identity issues

You can't keep blaming lockdown for everything. It was 5 years ago. Get over it

@User32459 your post tells me that you don't understand what constitutes ND behaviour. That you don't have the knowledge or awareness of ND behaviour and where it comes from.

So do you think a kid who is neurologically wired to be completely unable to sit still for an hour because of a deficit in dopamine production should be punished when they are not on the same playing field as their peers? ( That's ADHD by the way for many).

Should a child who has tourettes as part of their ND ( very commonly and affects my own child), and they make a squeak. Should they be punished in the same way as peers who are not neurologically disabled and thus don't make squeaks randomly?

Should a child with 1 leg be punished if they can't compete in the same way in PE as their peers who have both legs?

You can feel very uncomfortable about all this and that's ok. But it's important to see it for what it is. The ADHD child and the child with 1 leg are exactly the same in that they are disadvantaged beyond reasonable choice.

The answer you might say - well they shouldn't be there. Well great, good idea. Erm where will they go? Oh yes, there's nowhere and the LAithority won't allow it because it costs too much so back to mainstream you go and parents and kids and teachers are all breaking.

100%. And everyone is coached to navigate the assessments by social media sen influencers. Where parents used to be coached to help their kids pass the 11+ for that coveted place to enter grammar school, others are now in the same way directing their attention to coaching their child to have an adhd and autism diagnosis 💰

We ask. At nursery age, in our borough, DLA allows us to apply for a small amount of extra funding, so it is really beneficial to know. We keep a record of others who self-declare, mainly so we can see if there are others who we need to encourage or support to apply. Some parents don't think to apply or need support to manage the systems.

Though I suppose the actual number may be higher, as our records only include the parents who declare it to us.

@Wildflowers99 can you just tell me how much experience you have either being part of the current process for Autism assessments or ADHD assessments? I myself have significantly more knowledge of this than yourself. I have sat in many and sat in that for my own child.

I would like you to tell me how much you know about this process and the way in which a diagnosis is now secured? You won't be able to answer this I feel. It is incredibly detailed, thorough and involves a multidisciplinary approach.

I can't tell you exactly why this is now so prevalent. I've got theories but I'd need to go away and conduct more thorough research. I'm sure I'd find reasonable theories after some dedicated time that is more easy to evidence than the feckless lazy parent argument.

Tell me you know fuck all about ND DC and the special school crisis without telling me. Lots of these DC will never work. They are non verbal. They cannot be left unsupervised. They absolutely should be in special schools. Lots of ND DC do not thrive on the same discipline as NT DC and trying to force them in a NT mpukd that they cannot cope with is the issue.

Maternal obesity and sh*t food. Permissive parenting. Over stimulation

It's now apparent that you are intellectually out of your depth here and should just depart the debate.

What would be the benefit of parents doing that?

Yep but I don’t see a solution … a massive society issue!

Erm ok. You haven't answered my question though.

I’m pretty intellectually competent. I know a lot about individual differences and what’s now called neurodiversity, clinical approaches and sen education. Masters in psychology and neuroscience and another masters in education. Lived experience of neurodiversity. I’d be surprised if anyone could make the argument that I’m not intellectually capable of having a view on this. I track this field very closely

It’s a financial racket. Not for all obviously but it certainly is for some. It’s big money

Parents need to parent.
My friend went on an exchange last summer and taught in China - teaching well behaved, motivated children. They went through worse lock downs than we did, yet somehow are behaving well.
Too many excuses are made now. I was a teacher, wouldn't go back now.

On this subject you aren't. You're coming out with some awful nonsense.

What question? You haven’t asked me one. Your question was to someone else

God help us if WW3 breaks out … we’ll
be speaking Russian before you know it!

Can you expand on that? It is not my experience.

What is nonsense? It’s my view and I could back all of it up. I’m actually qualified in this space. I don’t know why you think it’s nonsense. There is a huge amount of research you know, coming out every day. It’s a hot topic. Covers every academic field but all looking at this burgeoning field of sen. I take a close interest

At my local school we have primary age kids being fed sausage rolls from the shop next door for breakfast as they walk through the school gates … late!

Private providers are making a good amount out of this situation. That is true.

But the parents are not that's for sure. It's going to be really insulting to so many parents who are absolutely broken by what the Governments are now doing. We haven't even considered the lost earning potential for those mum's spending every day managing the school dilemmas of their SEN kids in mainstream. The struggles for many of these parents are significantly and daily, like a full time job in itself.

You are not aware of what is going on and it's why I'm calling you out.

But you aren't providing any substantial information beyond saying I just know - including answering my questions.

Your posts betray your lack of knowledge. An opinion is ok of course but yours is based in lack of appropriate knowledge and awareness.

For example, can you provide me with data to demonstrate the number or proportion of ASD and ADHD diagnosees that have been overturned or deemed to be incorrect or challenged?

I'd think it would be in the best interests of the public purse to address misdiagnosed conditions seeing as all these people are claiming DLA apparently. And the costs associated with them is apparently breaking the Government right now.

Money as shown by the emoji