Stop blaming teachers for your child’s behaviour

[Woolfatthedoor]

I’m so fed up of my partner return home from school exhausted and mentally drained due to the appalling behaviour of some of their year six pupils.
Heaven forbid they are reprimanded. Then a slurry of emails accusing the teacher of ‘shouting’ at their innocent kids.
My Partner and several colleagues are at the point ot resigning.
They are experienced teachers who love teaching yet these kids make teaching intolerable.
If feels like these kids are not set any boundaries at home therefore come to school with a degree of arrogance.
Parents don’t seem to take any accountability for their children’s behaviour siding with them against the teacher who just wants to teach the rest of the class.

Funnily enough, I've come across quite a few teachers doing this 😁

OP is not talking about private schools, and PS teachers do not experience this sort of behavioural problems (and they are, of course, don't blame parents as they are customers).

The reason there are more diagnosed children in PS is that parents can pay for assessments. There would be much more diagnosed children in state but they are being actively denied the assessments and go without help - and massively struggle of course. That's the real problem.

@Ubertomusic

'This generation has been permanently damaged both mentally and physically by adults who asked for lockdowns.
Now you will have to face the long term consequences.'

Fuck me, really?
I've been talking to a gent in his 90s who was 5 when WW2 started. Every day at school they would have 'bomb drill' - sitting backs to the wall away from the windows. The local railway line got bombed. His parents out fire watching. I could go on.

Any generation that comes after that have absolutely no right to wail 'woe is me'.

Kind of proves my point that parents of SN children often end up seeing teachers as obstructive gaslighters.

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. 😂Jesus Christ. Your reading comprehension is dreadful.

Why not read the experiences of teachers on here who deal with it day in, day out? Or are they lying? Are those emails/complaints from entitled parents all fabricated?

I’ll write it simply for you: nobody is saying all parents who say their kid has SEN are liars. But some people are not genuine and are happy to milk the system where possible (DLA etc) whilst absolving themselves of any responsibility for their kid’s shit behaviour because “they have xyz and can’t help it”.

OK?

If the schools let the parents walk all over them then they will and the school/teachers won't be able to set any boundaries.

Teachers shouldn't work under those conditions. Where are the unions on this?

Schools need to be where kids learn about basic discipline and respect and frankly parents should have already taught them basics.

Any parents complaining should be given very short shrift except on occasions where teachers are genuinely out of line.

I bet a lot of teachers wish they could do that on a daily basis. But they’re tied by so many policies, guidelines etc.

It shouldn't matter. The unions should be backing the teachers up. Schools can't run without teachers. The parents need to let the teachers teach or home school them themselves.

Sorry I was typing in haste while doing my lazy parenting - I meant to add we can't really go by general stats, there are schools for severely dyslexic children for example where the proportion of SEN will be 100%, there are top super selective schools with not a single one severely disabled child (but quite a few high functioning ASD eligible for support), all that skews the stats.

OP was not talking about private sector anyway.

And now I must really be off to continue spoiling my child :)

It's not as easy as you picture it, I know of cases where severely hypermobile/dyspraxic children (think bottom 2% on speed of writing) were assessed by EdPsych at school (takes time and resources and not available everywhere) but never got the amount of extra time need to compensate for this level if need. Look at the thread EHCP denied again - trust me, the hand writing clearly shows severe dyspraxia but they are being denied the support they actually need.

This re. exam boards role.

One thing I've not seen mentioned yet is the declining birth rate. This means our school is scrabbling around desperately trying to attract more children and doing everything they can not to lose any. Which in turn means SLT are bending over backwards to keep parents happy. One child needs a brain break (fair enough), next thing you know half the class is lobbing bean bags around in the corridors as parents have said their child wants the same. In the past when schools were full, the balance of power was far more on the school's side.

But yes, screentime at a young age, weak parenting, not enough SEN provision and the trauma-based behaviour policy (ie you can't tell children off in front of the class any more, you have to go up to them and have a quiet word because it's damaging to humiliate them in front of others)... I'm very worried about the future of our society.

Since the introduction of emailing teachers has been introduced, it makes complaints easier. Teaching is hard…..

100% agree!! My son (6) can be a little 💩….all kids can be but there’s no punishment for kids now. Everyone has to be treated the same and bad behaviour rewarded. But parents need to start taking accountability for their kids and finding a fitting punishment instead of calling the school to say ‘my little angel won’t be doing…’

Stop blaming lockdown … it was 5 years ago!!!

It's crazy.

And if you do a total basic.

Many families have no option but to home ed, because some children are so disruptive.

Many teachers are leaving because children are so disruptive

The parents firing the crazy emails are of the most disruptive, yet want them in school, but do not want to home educate.

And then the schools cannot expel.

So the parents of the other children, send a million emails, and become that parent, because their child is not safe, or is upset, and then the teachers leave.

Rubbish, my daughter was in year 4 at the time and son started in reception … neither have suffered any ill effects and barely remember it!
Wonder how much sleep these unruly year 6 kids are getting … and how late they are up staring at their phones while in bed, that’s the more likely cause!!!

I left after 20 years teaching and I’m so sad that my career was taken by behaviour.

The children in nursery are also struggling and that can’t be blamed on Covid as they are 3 years old. Teachers are leaving all sectors. The government is happy as they can employ unqualified teachers for half the price.

I’d like to make you our headteacher immediately 😂. This is what it requires!

People always looking to blame something else or someone else when, the majority of the time, they only have themselves to blame!

Yeah but it would probably be that person that’s gotten rid of!

totally agree. The kids at my work were offered a 3 day trip away with the school. So many didn't go. I found out it was because they weren't allowed their phones.. parents need to parent and just take the phone from them. They missed out on so many adventures

I noticed how lack of discipline really made a difference to a senior school. The head left who enforced it the new one didn't. That place went downhill fast with teachers leaving, unhappy kids and parents. It became so bad I had to remove my child. I also recall pupils being given treats for doing little of what others were doing anyway who got nothing. When the school was shut during Covid my DC were almost always the only ones studying online. The majority couldn't have cared less about the virtual classes. I also have a close relative with SEN kids who fails to say anything when they are out of line. Therefore the children just carry on as a result of no correction or consequences.

It's not about lockdown, it's about feckless parents and spineless schools that reward bad behaviour and don't discipline.

There was lockdowns the world over but not every education system is as spineless as the UK.

It's madness. Tell the feckless parents to fuck off and home ed if they don't like it. They clearly don't want to do that so it'll stop it. Stop pandering to them.

I left teaching last summer because the widespread, atrocious behaviour had removed the remaining joy and reward from the job. Reading so many threads on here these days explains so much as it is seemingly now unacceptable to discipline children and expect obedience. Combined with the constant screen time, which results in poor concentration, and a lack of personal responsibility, as everything is done for children, this is creating a perfect storm and I fear for the workforce of the future.