Stop blaming teachers for your child’s behaviour

[Woolfatthedoor]

I’m so fed up of my partner return home from school exhausted and mentally drained due to the appalling behaviour of some of their year six pupils.
Heaven forbid they are reprimanded. Then a slurry of emails accusing the teacher of ‘shouting’ at their innocent kids.
My Partner and several colleagues are at the point ot resigning.
They are experienced teachers who love teaching yet these kids make teaching intolerable.
If feels like these kids are not set any boundaries at home therefore come to school with a degree of arrogance.
Parents don’t seem to take any accountability for their children’s behaviour siding with them against the teacher who just wants to teach the rest of the class.

Lockdown caused the misbehaviour ? Are you being serious? Why don’t people here just own it and admit it’s our permissive parenting style?
The whole world went into lockdown when we did yet this behaviour issue is not a trend elsewhere.

Misbehaviour has been a problem long before Covid. Stop blaming Covid for everything!

I find these posts so upsetting, we send our children to school and entrust them in the care of teachers. I hate to think those people are basically there under duress and hating every minute. My children love school, it’s such a crucial and important time that can’t be repeated. It’s a one shot thing.

I don’t have the answers - but I’m so saddened all round.
Saddened for the teachers who feel this way and saddened for our children whose education this is.

What a shame. I couldn’t be a teacher for that reason. There has always been this issue but now add in the deluge SEN parents who make complaint after complaint about how their child isn’t being supported even though they have ridiculous expectations and their child is just badly parented. And now all the gentle parenting social media accounts pushing the idea that gentle parenting means having no boundaries whatsoever. The country is falling apart. No one seems to understand that this is a) going to have massive economic impact because our workforce will either by totally uneducated and useless to employers or b) they are such snowflakes that they are unemployable and c) our GDP is going to be falling through the floor which means we become a third world country. We’re then going to have a two tier economic system where half the brits are unemployable and so unemployed and a drain on the social care system and we’re going to need huge numbers of immigrants who are actually resilient, able to cope with adversity and can do a job without whingeing about everything.

Who can think this is a good idea and the way to do things?

Everything is back to front in the UK. Even the police are useless these days.

And this permissive liberalised nonsense after 14 years of a 'conservative' government. Ridiculous. Everything has shifted so far liberal left for too long.

In reality another generation on benefits and we import millions from third world countries to make up the workforce.

I wouldn't want to be a teacher. It might have been easier before because parents generally left their kids in the hands of teachers and wouldn't listen much to any complaints about the teachers from the kids.

There are a huge proportion of SEN kids in mainstream and no adequate support for teaching staff nor enough accessible places in specialist schools.

The whole system is a mess.

Yes you pay thr money for a private diagnosis then sit back and claim DLA, ehcp and every other bit of funding going. The clever people have worked out it’s a very good return on initial investment.

Sympathy to your partner.
Am ready to leave after 20 years. I’m a good teacher, I get good work from the children and generally have a good relationship with my classes.
It’s relentless though. I’d rather not have the holidays and take a pay cut. I’m done.

@Flipflop223 do you have Autistic children? I'll hazard a guess that's a no.

Mainstream isn't working. Because mainstream schools work on Neurotypical behaviour and conformity. Everything say an autistic child is not. It's way beyond a parenting problem.

The only solution is overhaul the mainstream provision and add significant resource to support those pupils and in turn teachers. Or invest in more specialist provision and make it accessible to these kids. The Local Authorities are forcing these kids into mainstream with insufficient resource and investment to appropriately manage very different needs, behaviour and learnings style.

It is not like that in our primary school. Yes there have been challenges post Covid and yes, the birth rate is lowering, but the teaching staff, management and parent group are all working together successfully, as a community to resolve these issues. We still have the same staff primarily, there is not suddenly high turnover or anything. And if anything, most responsible parents are going anti screen and pro healthy foods and exercise and really prioritise mental health. So I do not recognise this dystopia. There has been an increase of family breakdown post Covid, but again, it seems to be settling. I think denying the impact of Covid on society is wishful thinking. And it is not just the Covid years, the whole Covid period has led to massive geo-political issues and uncertainty and the economics of that has impacted pretty much everyone.
I have also got a child with ASD who has a high IQ and has been fine overall. I also have a child who developed OCD tendencies post Covid but we seem to have largely resolved these. One can work on things with the right will and efforts and a community effort.

How are other countries (that's education system isn't completely broken with unruly unparented kids wreaking havoc) dealing with the SEN deluge out of interest?

What’s your suggestion? That a male teacher breaks up a fight and then ends up in disciplinary?

All kids went into lockdown.

All kids are not dicks.

This is about parental failure.

Absolutely- I'm in tears this evening because I'm absolutely exhausted from teaching my year 5's today. Constant rudeness and poor behaviour from a good 15 out of 30 of them. It's totally unfair on those children in the class who want to learn, to have some children constantly disrupting the learning and even physically assaulting others. Yet nothing is done about it. SLT are afraid to exclude the culprits. Parents blame the teachers.
We can't keep blaming lockdown and Covid. It's become an excuse. Goodness me... the evacuees in the war didn't behave like this and they had to travel and live miles from their families, yet they treated adults with respect.
God help this country's productivity and armed forces in about 15 years time!

i don’t disagree but that’s nothing new.

Following the “free” breakfast being rolled out in schools I have seen many pensioners comment re their winter fuel payment being cut in favour of feeding kids. Apparently feeding kids is the parents responsibility, not the governments. But heating a pensioners home is the governments.

You don't think the Government has anything to do with the problems?

If there was proper discipline and consequences it probably doesn't happen in the first place.

What will happen to the person who gave her a black eye? Suspension? Exclusion?

Do they have one? Seems to be the fashion here currently.

I think the issue is SEN is used as an excuse for poor behaviour and a lack of parenting.

I hear you OP, every word.
I left in 2022, never looked back or felt better tbh.

You don't get any money for having a child with an ASD diagnosis UNLESS your child is quite high on the spectrum. Kids who qualify for benefits for autism are rarely in mainstream schools due to the level of complex needs they have,

If you think you can 'pay for a diagnosis' then put your hand out for cash you are seriously ill informed.

You are, frankly, ignorant.

Significant number of DM and Not my Nigel types on here.

How many here are willing to pull their eyes off the DM pages and consult the role our Government may have? Do people think we suddenly have feckless parents where we didn't before.

That’s not true - many children in mainstream receive PIP.

Lots of studies on impact of obesity, maternal and possibly paternal for autism. Overstimulation with screens exacerbates it. Huge amounts of emerging research. All pointing to health and environmental factors.

I do believe in adhd but the fact that the assessment process is so subjective is problematic. The kid could have had a breakfast of UPF cereal and a bottle of Gatorade before the test, having been up all night playing computer games with terrible parents and they’re diagnosed with adhd. The fact that that have 90% factory food diet of UPF shit plus spend every waking moment on screens cannot be eliminated from the assessment. Thankfully more mri studies are being done and I think that will be used in assessments in the future. The questions and assessment process is pathetic

Quite … child is a little sh*t, say they have ADHD!