What kind of families are in your private school?

[Luna222]

Hi hope this is the right place to put this.

I'd love to know what the economic demographic of your private/independent school is like. We're deciding whether to keep DD in private or move to primary where we might be a better fit.

Is it mostly very wealthy (mansions, designer goods, massive cars, etc) or do you have a good mix of ordinary middle class families like accountants and doctors etc who aren't flashy? And where do you live?

We live in a rural area and the school seems to be 90% very wealthy flashy people who haven't made us feel super welcome and I am worried that it's affecting DD's ability to make friends. Not sure if we'd have the same problem at a different private school or if we'd be better off out of it.

This thread shines a light on class attitudes in this country. Again we have the use of the word 'randoms' to describe people not of the professional classes. Not as bad as 'randoms' to lump in refugees and families on bursaries. But still. I can almost see the twitch of distaste on the faces of some posters. I don't happen to be one of those randoms but do know plenty of people in business, and they generate plenty of jobs and taxes, and often have to take financial risks which likely make it quite hard to have their children in private school.
I wonder if there's a correlation between randoms and those who drive flashy cars?

@explainthistomeplease I quite agree. Those who are successful and employ hundreds of people are looked down on! People can drive whatever car they want. Go on holiday where they want. They pay fees on time so who cares about cars!? If we don’t welcome all people, and accept many pay high taxes, we cannot expect enough tax to pay for the huge state infrastructure we want. We actually need more successful business people.

It's very funny that we agree @TizerorFizz , since we disagree on the main point of whether or not private schools should exist! I guess as with Rory Stewart and Alastair Campbell on their (excellent) podcast, The Rest is Politics, we can disagree agreeably!

I grew up, not quite British, in a small town where my parents (businesspeople) were treated as second class by the professional Rotarians, and much of what I read on here reminds me of the things I heard in my 1970s childhood. And that was a LONG time ago!

I believe I used the phrase random business owners. That wasn’t intended to be pejorative simply indicating that it was a variety of business types. However in our school the vast majority of parents are doctors (we are not).

Don't worry @user18 - you haven't been the only one! But I'm glad to hear it wasn't used pejoratively.

The funny thing is that even though there are a multitude of medical specialisms and other professional jobs, the word hasn't been employed on this thread to describe those parents. When it could just as easily have been.

The other notable thing is just how many doctors use private schools. I've been amazed. It's definitely a thing locally, but I had imagined we were unusual. It seems not.

Why are you amazed that many doctors use private schools @explainthistomeplease ? That has always been the case.

Because of the recent industrial actions. And because the doctors I know often complain about their pay.

Sorry but if you are sending your child to private school you are wealthy.
It's been interesting to see people on this thread claim they're "scraping the money together" to send their children, if that was really true why are you bothering? Your child is not going to be an idiot just because they go to a normal school like 93% of the population.
It's like people are actually ashamed to admit they have money on Mumsnet?

I don't agree @Leah5678. I can think of a number of cases where families I know are not wealthy at all and they are really scrimping and prioritising to make school fees. I know one mum who wouldn't meet for class coffee as she couldn't justify the cost of a coffee as their financial situation was so tight. They prioritised their DC's private education over everything else as they felt it would make a huge difference to their future prospects. Personally I don't share that view and wouldn't make that choice but each to their own.

The ones who don’t have money get bursaries. They don’t always get 100%. So they might have to find some money and that’s not always easy. However it’s a choice and they have made it. They are not the norm though. They are a minority.

@explainthistomeplease Od course we can disagree politely. I don’t really mind what cars people drive and what they do for a living. Around here plenty of well off people use the grammar schools. Not huge numbers of private secondaries as a result. I do take exception to people objecting to others who earn more. We need all the tax we can get. In return for this, money brings choice and freedoms as we are not yet dictated to about all aspects of life.

Old money often shoots too.

TizerorFizz I don’t understand this sentence.

I think Tizer was bizarrely trying to have a pop (excuse the pun) at old money shooting parties. Something to do with it is okay to for new money to have 'flash cars' because old money kills animals. I know, me neither!

In DC's secondary there was a fair number of very wealthy families (yachts, castles, mansions etc. and there were single parents who raised DC in small apartments, families from terraced houses who were on bursaries and every type in between. Tbh, I don't remember any working class families, though there were several children of working class parents who had done well for themselves in the building trade or in the city. They all mixed very easily and freely. DC's friendship group ranged from super-wealthy to single parent boys on bursaries and they are all still friends today, five years after leaving school.

Artisanal - ah, ok.
I think old and new money shoot - and fish.

@Barbadossunset I can tell you who shoots the most and owns the shoots! Never mind if you didn’t get it. “Old” money would though.

These threads are crazy. One group of people feel entitled to tell other people hoe to raise their children and how they can acceptably spend their money. The other group offer excuses and mitigations.

Why? It’s a free country and let us hope it stays that way!

I guess it depends how you define wealthy? I understand that I have a higher household income than average but I don't think I am wealthy. My best friend is a nurse and her husband is a teacher, they live in a two bed flat in a cheap area of London to be able to afford to send their daughter private. Are they wealthy?
I dont think my children would be 'idiots' if I sent them to state schools, I just think they would have a less enjoyable school experience. I make sacrifices so that they can enjoy their time at school.

Bizarre comment. What does that have to do with anything.

A senior nurse and teacher in London could jointly be earning £100k. Especially if in private health and education. So with a low mortgage they might have disposable income for school fees for 1 child if they don’t do much else. Plus grandparents often quietly help. If a deputy head or head in a secondary obviously there’s higher pay available. However if on average salaries for these jobs, they don’t have a mortgage! They would earn around £80,000 so difficult to pay fees I think.

@TizerorFizz They earn about 90k joint. Which I is about 5k net after student loans and pensions. 2k school fees, 1k mortgage and 2k left for food, bills and extras.

@3WildOnes Fees are very cheap for London. Very low mortgage too. Less then rent would be by a long way. So I guess they have had the flat a while and haven’t traded up. I would not want to be doing this on that level of income but they do it because they have a low mortgage (at the moment!)

@TizerorFizz I wouldn't say 2kpm is particularly cheap for London day schools. I think all the London gdst schools are below that, KGS, Emanuel, etc and LEH and Hampton senior fees are only a little above that. I only really know schools in SW London, perhaps schools in Central and North are significantly more expensive. Yes mortgage is very cheap as they live in a tiny two bed flat in Staines. That was the point of my post. There are many families who use private schools who aren't massively wealthy, who have fairly ordinary jobs but make sacrifices to send their children.

@TizerorFizz The only London day school I know that's more expensive than 24K per year is Queenswood. I don't think many others are. So £2K per month is not exactly cheap even for London.

@XelaM Ah. I thought it was 2 DC. Stains is not London really. However it’s still a big proportion of earnings that many people could not afford.

You're right it is just outside of London. Their child, however, attends a London day school.
They aren't the only family I know who have fairly ordinary jobs but who make sacrifices to send their children to private school, including quite a few who live in cheaper parts of London. Myself included. Its just not my experience that only the very wealthy send their children to private schools.