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Original poster

Would you delay your May Born child by one year

189 replies

Worrier987 · 20/09/2023 14:34

I have a young child born in May and I keep thinking about delaying his school start to when he is 5 years old.
Has anyone got experience of this and was it difficult to do that ?

OP posts:
MaryToft · 21/09/2023 22:31

@Toffeebythesea please could you provide the links to the info around prison and mental health. I would be interested to read it, thank you.

Marmaladegin · 21/09/2023 22:41

Yes, I have. Very happy with our decision. He's thriving,happy and confident. No SEN.

senior30 · 21/09/2023 22:57

I held mine back with an august birthday, I wouldn’t have ever considered for May. If he is developmentally delayed then that’s different, it was difficult to find a school happy to accept a child born in august. You have absolutely no hope with a May born child, it’s bizarre that you would even want to.

UsingChangeofName · 21/09/2023 23:10

No. Of course not. Whyever would you ? Confused

Toffeebythesea · 21/09/2023 23:11

@MaryToft
The flexible school admissions for summer born children Facebook has all of the studies linked. We did a lot of research.
I can't remember the specific report that mentioned prison and mental health but they are two of the many negative factors which stood out for me. It is all there on the Facebook page if you're interested in learning more

Toffeebythesea · 21/09/2023 23:16

@senior30
You deferred your own child but you think it's bizarre that someone else with a summer born DC would want to do the same?
I'm not sure when you deferred but for most parents it is not at all hard to find a school to agree to the deferral and it makes no difference to the school whether the child was born in May or August. The law allows for any summer born child to be deferred.

@UsingChangeofName
My question would be why would you not defer your child? All the statistics show that summer born children are at a disadvantage throughout there life. Why would you choose that if the option is there for them to go a year later?

YoongiMarryMe · 21/09/2023 23:22

I'm in Scotland and as been noted the equivalent is November birthdays here. Both my DS's were Nov born and I deferred both. Never regretted it. They’ve never regretted it. Schools (both primary and high) have always noted it in a positive way.

Onthelastdayofseptember · 21/09/2023 23:43

We deferred our dc who are both end July. Everyone said theyd be fine but i felt dc1 would struggle socially - hes now 9 and doing well but has been referred for ASC assessment and fits well with his adopted cohort. As long as he's allowed to stay in this cohort all the way through I think it will be the right decision. However I do feel self conscious and worry they will feel different as they get older. And I think May is 5 months older than the next oldest, not 5 weeks.

There's a fb group that's really helpful - both one for summer born children at school and one for deferred entry, so I would look at both to see both sides.

MaryToft · 22/09/2023 19:36

@Toffeebythesea it's a private Facebook group. Please can you link the studies.

RoseAndRose · 22/09/2023 19:39

May?

Not unless I thought my DC was significantly struggling with their peer group and not hitting milestones.

intergalacticplanetary · 22/09/2023 19:50

I have a July and August born and i never even toyed with the idea.

I actually find it annoying that it's becoming quite a common thing because it is massively increasing the age gap in year groups. There already a year between the august and September babies.

BackT · 22/09/2023 20:02

I think he'd be explaining and justifying it forever.

Toffeebythesea · 22/09/2023 20:07

@MaryToft
Anyone can join the group. If it's something your interested in then I'd recommend doing that and you'll be pointed in the direction of the many studies which have been carried out on the topic. All of which show that summer born children are at a disadvantage

StillWantingADog · 22/09/2023 20:12

Well i’m May born and I am certainly pleased that my parents didn’t delay me!

I didn’t delay my May born either. Or my august born. Yeah they were pretty small
starting school. But now several years later they are doing fine.

there are zillions of similar threads but basically no way unless you have specific concerns that you think would benefit an extra year in preschool (may not be possible) or at home.

also I’d make a point that however young your dc is they grow up an awful lot in the year leading up to starting school.

xyz111 · 22/09/2023 20:16

There's quite a few children in my sons class who were born in July and august. You wouldn't notice any difference!

Mumofteenandtween · 22/09/2023 20:21

Does anyone know what happens with 16-19 funding for deferred kids? Do they only have 2 years to finish their A levels and so no option to change if things go badly?

Vitriolinsanity · 22/09/2023 20:40

May (and mine is and a boy) no. August yes.

MaryToft · 22/09/2023 20:56

@Toffeebythesea I don't want to join the group. They're big and emotive claims to be making without anything substantive to back it up, other than join the group.

MaryToft · 22/09/2023 21:30

@Toffeebythesea perhaps it's because I'm summer born that I'm 'not very knowledgeable'.

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 22/09/2023 21:38

Have there been any studies done of the outcomes for summer borns who were deferred? Or is there not a sufficient body of evidence to work with?

Toffeebythesea · 22/09/2023 21:44

@HonoriaLucastaDelagardie
That's an interesting question. I don't know
the answer but perhaps someone else does.
I had always presumed that as a cohort deferred children would then fall in line with the outcomes of winter born children but I'm not sure if there is any evidence to support this

GreenMeanMachine · 22/09/2023 21:45

I have an April baby who should have been born in May. I considered deferral. I think in part because his elder brother was a September baby. There was a huge difference in their abilities and emotional maturity (unsurprisingly as my eldest was 8 months older when he started school (which is a lot when you are 4-5). School advised us not too because child very bright and they felt he would be bored in preschool.

He has found it harder than my eldest and I have at times questioned if I should have deferred, but now in y5 you can’t tell any difference.

My son has 3 children who are April-May birthdays who deferred and they were fine until it came to secondary and they did have problems being in the “wrong” year.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 22/09/2023 21:50

Nope, not unless there was a reason to. I have a June born daughter and she's always been happy and great at school. I would possibly consider delaying an August baby. I have a September born 4 year old and whilst I wouldn't necessarily have held her back had she be born a few days earlier, I am quite glad she has another year before school.

SausageMonkey2 · 22/09/2023 21:51

I’d defer 100%