Would you delay your May Born child by one year

[Worrier987]

I have a young child born in May and I keep thinking about delaying his school start to when he is 5 years old.
Has anyone got experience of this and was it difficult to do that ?

as someone else has commented, you can get a dispensation to play in the adopted year. I actually confirmed with our secondary school that being a deferred summer born wouldn’t cause any issues for sports and they said it would be fine.

however I’ve got a June born who didn’t defer and a July born who did, and based on my experiences I wouldn’t defer for a may born.

If he is developmentally delayed then maybe delay for a term if the school will hold your place but I wouldn’t delay a May born for a whole year - what would be the point of that? May isn’t even particularly late in the school year..

Not May no. My DS has Sen so probably would benefit. But a teenager will not thank you for being the hugely older one.

My son is deferred and so started school just after his fifth birthday, and within 7 weeks of starting school another five children had celebrated their 5th birthday too.

So using your scenario, when my son turns 18, there will be another five children who also turn 18 within the next 5 weeks.

One of the other pupils in my son’s class turned 5 on the third day of school so even though my son is deferred, he is still only the oldest in the class by about 8 days.

There’s always this really odd idea out there that deferred children are wayyyyy older than the rest of the class and that really, really isn’t the case. It’s baffling.

Not unless I had a good reason. My dd has a late August birthday, was ready for school and flourished.

I'm a May baby so don't get why you'd want to delay for that month.

August yes but May

You know your child best so it's up to you but I wouldn't recommend it

Child isn't SEN. Thanks for all the posts. It helps me to understand from people with more experience.

No no no. That's not the right thing to do.

@HeadAgainstWall0923 A late August birthday is different to May though. One of DS’s friends turned 15 on August 26th and there’s several September birthdays in their year, including DS.

Far less common from earlier in the year though. DD had two friends in her year with February and March birthdays from the previous year. They both had learning differences that significantly impacted their progress and were essentially “held back.”

Definitely not

Where I live this is only an option for June, July or August babies.

No unless there are specific concerns. Not just because of the May birthday. At least a third of DD’s class have birthdays May or later, only one (end of August and with some SEN) is deferred.

No. My May born child was more and ready for school and was actually the eldest in her group of friends. There were lots of older but seemingly less school ready children in her reception class.

Where this is? As it isn't England, where I did assume OP was asking from.

I checked in England there's an option for children to delay school start if they are born from 1-April to August.

No way. I have two August born children and they've both been very successful at school and academically.

There was a girl in my daughter's year (June born) who was held back. She was much bigger and more mature than everyone else and stood out like a sore thumb. Poor kid had no reason to be held back and it really affected her socially.

I'm in Scotland where a May child is equivalent to a November child.

Plenty of November children are deferred where I live. It's seen as the middle class choice - usually to send them to an outdoor nursery then into school when age 5+.

My daughter is born in May and it never even crossed my mind even though technically I know it is possible. It’s been fine and I’ve never once wished she was in the year below.

I would only defer an August child, maybe a July one if they were less mature for their age than average. Definitely not May. And I say that as someone who does strongly believe being born earlier in the year is an advantage.

You still haven't answered why tho op other than "because you can". Its an option that's massively useful for prem kids who should have been in the year below anyway, or kids with SEN who may need a little longer to get started. It isn't the default choice for every child born from April otherwise it just shifts the "youngest kid" from August to March.

If you don't want them in education at 4, i'd keep them home and start them straight into year 1 at 5. I wouldn't keep a typical child back so they're at least 4 months older than the oldest kids. It'll jus hold them back

May? Of course not.

No. About one third of my summer born's class were also summer born. They thrived.

This happened to a relative of mine.
Got kept back a year because of sen but then ended up missing the last year of primary school because they had to start high school in the correct school year.

My daughter is a 30 Aug birthday. We're in Scotland so shes in the middle of the cohort but if we lived in England I'd have considered deferring as she really could not manage very well at 4yrs 2 days old but would have been fine six months later.

@Worrier987
Ds was a June birthday.

If he'd had the option of dropping a year when he was going into year R, I probably would have taken it.
It probably would have been an easier start for him and the difficulties he had in year R might well have not been a problem.

But I can also say, he's now 16yo, and I can see it would have been the wrong decision for him long term. He has been much better in his year for lots of reasons.