Would you delay your May Born child by one year

[Worrier987]

I have a young child born in May and I keep thinking about delaying his school start to when he is 5 years old.
Has anyone got experience of this and was it difficult to do that ?

Why?!!
Dd has just left uni with a first, she's a May born child.

You do know that the time of year they were born matters way way less than the environment they grow up in?

Not for that reason only. Maybe if SEN as pp said, or a particularly young for their age child, struggling with toileting or social skills etc.

DS is a May baby, just started reception, doing fine. He would have been bored doing another year of nursery.

Only if developmentally delayed.

Being born in May is only 75% of the way through the year - 25% of the cohort will be born in June, July and August.

There's just as many problems being the oldest in the year as the youngest. Anyone born between December and May is comfortably near enough the middle that they won't have any age-related problems in their year group unless they have a significant diagnosed development delay.

May??? No.

My birthday is 3rd week of July. I started a few weeks after my 4th bday. I remember finding it hard to settle and my mum said i was the one of the four of us who struggled to settle the most (my brothers were both May babies, my sister a November baby) but after a few weeks I was fine. I don't see why a May baby would have problems.

It’s interesting how different this is in other countries. In Ireland the principal rang me to ask if I’d defer May born dd for a year as she’d have been one of the youngest in her class.

There isn’t as much of an emphasis on age here, and I think the extra year in Montessori gave her great confidence for primary, but even more so going into secondary.

So based on my experience I’d be encouraging you to hold off a year, but clearly judging by the replies, she’d be out of step culturally.

I delayed my August born and sent him to school following his 5th birthday instead of his 4th.

I’m not sure I would have done it with a May baby though unless there were significant reasons.

I did meet some resistance with the 3 schools I had applied to regarding starting my son in reception at 5 years old instead of 4 years old, and that was with a mid-August birthday so I can imagine you might have a battle on your hands if it’s a May birthday you’re trying to defer for.

I know the “summer born” window in terms of deferring school start is for any baby born between April - August, but as May is right on the cusp then I wouldn’t delay his school start unless he has significant difficulties already.

Unless there's significant sen I don't think it's a good idea, even August birthdays. Your child will become a teenager and won't thank you for them being a year behind most likely. I'm an august birthday and got my university offer confirmed on my 18th birthday, 4 weeks later I left home!

The secondary issue is that sports teams work on school year's ending 31st august so your child wouldn't be eligible for primary sports for instance and community teams again are on school years, really strict too.

No, my May born child was ready for school and raring to go. Now she's 9yo and in yr5 and she's way achieving above expectations in all subjects. Holding her back wouldn't have helped her, she'd have been fed up for the extra year at home/nursery.

I worried about this but have just started my July born in reception. I sometimes look and think "Aww he's so little" but he's actually fine and I'm not sure an extra year in nursery would
have helped. He seems as ready as his friends. He started a week later than most of the others at his nursery and when I saw him with the new children just gone up to that room he really did seem big and grown up! Just see what your child is like. If there are clearly huge concerns you could think about it but I wouldn't otherwise.

No unless there's SEN or other concerns. A May born child deferring a year is taking the piss IMO and shouldn't be allowed.

MN is very anti-summer borns starting on reception at CSA even though there is absolutely reams of evidence that statistically, on average, summer borns have worse outcomes across a large range of outputs from academic achievement to mental health and this carries through all the way until the end of GCSEs. If you Google you will easily be able to find the large body of research on this topic.

Of course all children are different and should be assessed by their parents as individuals, that goes without saying.

My June born started reception at CSA this year and I am so so glad I didn't send them last year. It is very easy to arrange this in my area and I know a few people locally who have done the same and it's increasing year on year.

I can't say for definite that I would make the same decision with a theoretical May born child because it depends on the child. However I'd definitely consider it and wouldn't hesitate to do it if I felt it best. The data is clear that on average they are at a disadvantage the whole way through their school life.

No, of course not. There's no need.

No. I would worry that he would end up mismatched with his classmates - I see this in my son's class where parents have held back their July or August born children. They just look too big and are socially out of step with children who, in some cases, are more than a year younger than them.

My deferred son is now in Year 1 and plays football for his town but he plays on a team with the Year 2 children as that’s what year he “should” have been in. He is perfectly happy with this, as I am and his dad.

However, we have recently found out that in the case of deferred children they can no longer be blanket-banned from playing sports depending on their age/school year if they are being educated out of their cohort.

For example, if I was really fussed I could request that despite my son technically being of a “year 2” age, that he be allowed to play in a team that has Year 1 aged children in instead because thats the age group he’s being educated in.

It’s quite a simple procedure too and permission is generally granted so as not to be discriminatory.

I have asked my son if he would rather play in a team that is for Year 1 children and although he’s said he’s happy enough with the Year 2 children for now we will keep an eye on it and drop him down an age group if we thinks it’s for the best.

Based on my son's reception class, she'd be far from the youngest. They have about 12 birthdays in June/July/Aug.

I did it with my May born twins. They missed reception and started school in year 1. This was mainly because they had severe separation anxiety and I didn't think they were ready to start school.

They had no problems settling into year 1, although one was selectively mute at school for a couple of years, though I think this would have happened regardless - he loved school, just wouldn't talk to his teachers. They really loved school and loved learning, made friends easily.

They're 19 now, very independent and at uni doing science subjects, so I don't think it's held them back at all.

Because I didn't apply for reception I had to do an application out of normal times, but their older brother went to the school so I knew they had space for them, as it was an undersubscribed school. So worth bearing in mind if you're looking at a popular school.

No, we've got a few summer born children in DSs class (including him) and they're all absolutely fine. I think most schools would put deferred children straight into year 1 as well, and honestly my child wouldn't have coped with it had he not settled into the school, made friends, etc for the reception year.

Reception was mainly learning through play, very little time at all sat at a desk, it was like a more structured nursery. If anything it was more suited to the summer born kids.

This is what always gets me when people ask. It's like the parents contemplating deferring seem to think their child will be the only summer born (if you can even count April or May as summer) so therefore the youngest and in some way disadvantaged. In most cases classes are pretty evenly split.

I have an academically gifted may born that I delayed- mostly so I could get them in the school of choice after a house move. Honestly it's fine- his friends are September and October birthdays and he's very slight. It's been no problem with school or socially and I would do it again if I ever had another

No! And I think he’d hate you for that when he’s older too, like turning 18 wayyyy before his other friends do etc.

Locally they only allow you to defer if its July or August. It seems people are asking for children born earlier and earlier. There needs to be a cut off somewhere!

I'm sorry @Worrier987 but no. If your child was born late August I might consider it, but May is a whole three months earlier, and despite your worries I'm sure your son will be better off joining the correct school year. A few families have applied for deferral at my school (I'm a governor) and it becomes more problematic down the line, especially if you ever have to change schools. I think you're worrying too much, so please try not to. Is this your first child OP?

I delayed my June born DD until CSA. I am happy with the decision as she seems more confident with the extra time in preschool and more energetic in the afternoon than last year. She was still having an afternoon nap at 4! Good luck with your decision. You know what is right for your child.

Of course not. There has to be a cut off point but May shouldn't be it.