Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Would you delay your May Born child by one year

189 replies

Worrier987 · 20/09/2023 14:34

I have a young child born in May and I keep thinking about delaying his school start to when he is 5 years old.
Has anyone got experience of this and was it difficult to do that ?

OP posts:
slowsundays · 20/09/2023 14:37

Why are you thinking of deferring? It would be different if your child was born at the very very end of August but May? Your child won't thank you.

whatamess100 · 20/09/2023 14:38

I wouldn't my childs early june and he was fine and took to it really well

mondaytosunday · 20/09/2023 14:41

No - many kids are born in spring. My daughter is May and was middle of the birthdays. My son was born late July and I didn't hold him back - he was totally ready for school.

happyshineyperson · 20/09/2023 14:41

Of course not!

Bossedbyasmallperson · 20/09/2023 14:45

No way! Unless there is sen.

MentalBloch · 20/09/2023 14:46

I wouldn't consider this unless there were very pressing concerns. Are there?

BlueRaincoat1 · 20/09/2023 14:47

Why would you? There will be plenty of kids younger than them. I would only even consider it if your child seemed particularly not ready for school. My ds is August born and is honestly fine in school.

Catsonskis · 20/09/2023 14:48

Some schools don’t let your 5 year old join reception and admit them straight into year 1 so he’d miss out on the fundamentals of learning to be in school and mostly playing.

but as pp, unless you have SEN concerns, or he’s significantly behind on mole stones/significantly prem I wouldn’t. My sister and my friend are both end of August babies, started school days after turning 4 and 1 is a doctor now and one an advanced nurse practitioner, neither had issues in school. My mum said my sister was more tired than I was at the end of the day but otherwise fine

autumnmakesmehappy · 20/09/2023 14:49

Does your child attend nursery or preschool OP? If so I would recommend talking your concerns through with them. They will have a good idea of how well your child will manage the transition and will probably be able to provide lots of reassurance.

EasternStandard · 20/09/2023 14:50

No

OxfordshireMumOf2 · 20/09/2023 14:52

nope, I have a May born and he is thriving at school. I don't know if its the same everywhere but if I deferred him he would then start in year 1 and miss reception, I didnt want him to miss out on a years worth of friendships/bonding.

Shmithecat2 · 20/09/2023 14:52

Why? They'll unlikely be the youngest starting. I was a May baby. Wasn't disadvantaged at all by starting the September after I was 4.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/09/2023 14:54

Based on just his birthday - no of course not. Other issues like delayed development - I might consider it.

cocksstrideintheevening · 20/09/2023 14:54

No I wouldn't even consider it

cheezncrackers · 20/09/2023 14:58

No, I wouldn't and didn't (I also have a May-born boy). I think you'd need to have specific reasons for doing it - SENs, linguistic or developmental delays, etc that justified it - I definitely wouldn't do it just based on his birthday.

Ohmylovejune · 20/09/2023 15:00

Are you allowed to?

When my DD moved Y5 to Y6 a girl, with SEN, joined her jumping from Y4 to Y6. Apparently she had been kept back due to SEN and the secondary school wouldn't accept that so she had to catch up in terms of cohort.

I thought it incredibly cruel. Maybe I was misinformed.

I'd certainly never keep a child back simply due to the cut off date. Quite a few summer children, far later than yours, started with my April.born daughter and were still be brought their blankets and comforters at the end of the day. One such child was a great friend of my daughters. She went onto pass her 11 plus and now has a masters in mathematics! Honestly, unless they have SEN, let the system continue.

And, if they have SEN, make sure they won't ever be forced to jump in a later year.

Frodedendron · 20/09/2023 15:01

No way, if they started Reception the next year (as opposed to Year 1) they'd be significantly more mature than a lot of the class, that's not necessarily desirable and I don't think it would do them any favours.

SnapdragonToadflax · 20/09/2023 15:03

I keep seeing this idea on Instagram lately. I really think it's a bad idea unless there are some special needs or other developmental issues. Perhaps if the child's birthday was riiiiight at the cut-off? But not May. Schools will be used to dealing with the younger ones, they might just need a bit more support in the first term but they'll be fine. My friend's daughter is July 30th, she's in her correct year and is doing great.

I do suspect there are some mums who think their children are soooo delicate and special they can't possibly cope with school... or they would like them to be seen that way. Or they just want to keep their children at home and small as long as possible, which is equally odd. Either way, I really do think it's unnecessary. I have a 4.5 year old, he was bored with pre-school and was more than ready for school. He's loving it... a bit tired, but so would I be if I'd just started a new job. They build up very slowly, it's all play-based at the moment, like pre-school. They're fine.

Ivebeentogeorgia · 20/09/2023 15:18

No, I could understand if he was an august baby but not May. He could be 15 months older than some of the kids in the year below and that won’t be helpful socially. I say this as a May born person who did fine in school and with an august born son who is doing fine right now in high school.

Ap24 · 20/09/2023 15:24

No. Both me and DB are summer babies born in late July and late August. We always did well in school and were in top sets come secondary school. The only downside was drinking alcohol in that final summer before university.

BookSuperWorm · 20/09/2023 15:26

No way! I'm May born and didn't even feel young in the year - there are many kids born May-Sept.

I have a very very late Aug baby. He still went to school at 4 (a few days over 4!) and has been fine academically. He's in top set for reading and maths. He is just a bit more childish than some of the Sept babies when it comes to playing, but not enough to cause any friendship problems or issues.

YourNameGoesHere · 20/09/2023 15:27

No. Not unless he was significantly delayed which you've not mentioned so I'm going to assume he isn't.

There will be a large portion of the class who have birthdays in the same month as him and also be younger born in June, July and August. He will also likely be bored out of his mind being left behind at nursery whilst he watches all his same aged peers go to big school.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 20/09/2023 15:29

For May I wouldn't unless they were particularly immature for their age.
My DD is early June and was delayed, but she has significant health issues so it was decided by everyone that she'd be better off going later (the SEN nursery were better equipped to have her than the school).

Some schools don’t let your 5 year old join reception and admit them straight into year 1 so he’d miss out on the fundamentals of learning to be in school and mostly playing.

That should no longer happen as it's been accepted that it's not in the best interest of the children.

Goodornot · 20/09/2023 15:29

It's weird I've known a few friends with spring babies who think they're too young.

I was a May baby and I was by no means the youngest in the class.

My friends with early autumn babies push them to go a year early.

One friend went as far as to go to a private school and get them to take her son at 3 ...he wasn't 4 until the October. She wasn't the only one who wanted the school to take them early.

HamBone · 20/09/2023 15:31

As PP’s have said, the only children I know with spring birthdays who were delayed have learning differences and/or other diagnoses. My DD (18) has a late spring birthday and thrived at school.