Help finding a school which promotes excellence.

[hermani]

DW and I are starting our research on schools. We have not conceived yet but are planning on it and would like to get informed as much as possible since this affects our choice of neighbourhoods, etc.

We have agreed on a handful of characteristics that we think are important for our future-DCs schools:

1. An excellent class environment that provides a safe and nurturing environment for students. We want a setting that promotes intellectual curiosity and that encourages students to excel academically.
2. Well-behaved children who are reasonably respectful of teachers and not disruptive. Want to avoid situations where students talk back to teachers or are hostile to academically-minded peers. Would like a student body that enables teachers to produce excellent outcomes.
3. Low levels of bullying and prompt and effective response by the school whenever bullying occurs.
4. Parents who value education and promote a good environment for their children at home. Want to avoid situations where trouble at home spills over to the school and affects peers negatively.
5. Parents who aim to eventually see their DCs attend top unis and to succeed thereafter.

We are now in the process of identifying schools that reach these ideals. However, we do not know where to start. Would appreciate any recommendations of schools that you think would be a good fit or advice on how to find such schools.

OP- what's yours??
Have a baby first. Let's hope for that child's sake, that they are intelligent. If not- blame everyone else! Bad school, bad teachers, child not liked because parents are knobs? Bad school, bad teachers..

Are you British? Did you go to school here?

Just scrolled back and a lot of posters are saying it's not a real poster- it's a bot.
That does make sense

Surely you're a bit late if you haven't already put your yet-to-be conceived child down for Hampstead Hill / Clowns as your best option for getting them into the NW London / Herts super-selective schools at 4 or 7.

The most sought after 11+ tutors for the class of 2041 will also start to get booked up very soon if you don't get baby Hermani on their list very very soon.

This is definitely a spoof. You cannot possibly be serious @hermani. Whatever you are looking for doesn’t exist. You can’t create a perfect world with the optimum conditions for your child to thrive. This is the world you are bringing them into, not a Petri dish. And before you make any cheap jibes about what kind of person I am and what kind of children I have, I am very confident we can easily match any of your aspirations in terms of academics, finances, achievements within our chosen fields.

I also want to know what @hermani does, as a PP asked 🤖

A failed wizard who turned himself into a bot factory.

'Bottiamus!'

@AutumnCrow a utopian bot factory…devoid of any emotions, but all criteria are fulfilled. Are we taking this too far. Maybe OP is real, can’t be, surely!

When I worked in school admissions lmany years ago we used to have parents looking to buy houses in catchment areas for the best primary schools (they still are) in the leafy areas. They might have a baby or be thinking about one. They were buying a family house because they could and wanted a certain school. Sometimes parents choose to live near a prep school they like. Or even went to. It’s not unheard of and never was. These parents didn’t have the shopping list written out but it would have been the same as the poster if they had written it down.

You can’t create a perfect world with the optimum conditions for your child to thrive

I actually think you can, however that doesn’t mean your child will be going down the A levels to University to Corporate/Medicine/Law/or anything else you have planned

Your child will thrive but with that will be the confidence of knowing who they are and what they want

The best you can do is find a school they fit into and that might not be one that promotes excellence

Then expose them to all sorts of activities and really get to know them. But that would mean spending time with them and watching them at these activities to see what it is that makes them happy, what they thrive in and what interests them.
The question isn’t what school you should choose but do you and your wife have the time and interest to do that for hours each evening after school.

And after doing all that for years would you be happy if you child decided to become a plasterer/plumber/beautician or find they are really into musical theatre and you are looking at dance colleges.

Over the years I have met a few parents who have a plan for their child/children
I have yet to see any who had children who followed their parents plan and became successful.

Home school. Spend money on tutors if you need to.
That way other people and their "problems" won't get in the way of your child's education

definitely a spoof. Not even Mumsnet who could come up with a real life poster who's this deranged?

The list is just so narrow - a weird idealistic version of how a very academic selective education might look to someone who has yet to become a parent.

To ask for randoms on here to comment on that list is odd in the extreme. Surely we all just looked round a few schools until we found one we liked?

If this were real, the advise would have to be go away, have the baby and when they're about 3 (and you've got to know them!!) start looking?

I really agree with this. Don't over plan as it can lead to a lot of unhappiness. I'd suggest looking for an area that has plenty of choices around you as reality is often much different from aspiration. Everyone thinks their child will fit into their plan (and lots of parents have high hopes for their child) but sometimes that's just not how it turns out and unfortunately as the parent you can't always control this either.

My kids go to a state primary in London that easily meets all five of those points. (and encourages creativity, has loads of music and arts, etc.)

I don't think it's unreasonable to try to find such a school.

OP feel free to DM me and I will tell you which school.