Caught the school lying to us and GOSH about son's progress

[LolafromA]

Hi everyone. Posting it here as I need an advice. Thanks in advance.
Long story short… My son who is now in Year 4 had speech delay. While still in Nursery we were told by SENCO to sort out the funding and apply for an EHCP. Which we did. Didn’t get the place in the same school so we got accepted to another one. Of course, the new school did not need our ‘funding’ and supported our son using their SEN budget. Now we understand how SEN budgets work so I know we got tricked. During Reception year my son’s speech was developing rapidly. He was a sweet boy, very compliant, had friends, loved going to school and enjoyed learning despite speech problems. The teacher described him to me as having a ‘math head’. Which made sense since my brother is Physicist and my husband Cambridge Uni graduate (Astrophysics).
We got a place eventually at the school that we wanted (that advised us to get an EHCP) and my son started Year 1. He settled well and we received positive feedback about his academic progress. The teacher said he just needs to be more independent but they will work on it.
Now a month later during Parent Teacher meeting I mention to the teacher that my son is being assessed by GOSH (2nd opinion) for High Functioning ASD and I will be bringing forms to fill out about his behaviours etc. The teacher seemed surprised that our son has been diagnosed with ASD (my son is in Year 4 now and I am still not 100% sure but at the same time I realise that I am probably surrounded by aspies in my family (math gene is strong). My brother reminds me of Elon Musk a lot - very inteligent, based in Silicon Valley, studied Physics, Optical Engineer, geeky etc.
Now since I mention ASD, things change at school. All of the sudden I am invited for a meeting with SENCO, teachers and S&L Therapist and told my son needs one on one in Math and English lessons four times a week, lego therapy, of course S&L therapy. The amount of funding needed I was shown £12k costs.
At the same time my son (Year 1, has just turned 6) was assessed by GOSH professionals and the tests showed my son’s spelling is as a 9yo, Math - 8 yo and Early Reading Skills - 7 yo.
Because of Covid lockdown I found out these results only at the beginning of Year 2. It all made sense to me because I could not understand how this clever boy needs so much support. Remember I had to teach him during lockdown myself.
Year 2 started and I would ask my child if he has a TA. He would say that no and he is learning together with the whole class. I started questioning TA arrangements with the school and was told that my son has TA now. Later turned out TA was spending only 20 min twice a week with my son. Smoke and mirrors I know… Then another lockdown started from around Xmas. Again I got to witness my boy how easy he is to work with, how amazing memory he has, reads a text - answer questions correctly, comprehends etc So after the lockdown I started calling Local Authority as I felt we are being exploited. His EHCP was bringing the school extra 3k (top up funding). I ceased EHCP at the end of Year 2. Speech Therapist was giving him identical English lessons that I had to teach my son during lockdown myself. So I realised it’s another ‘smoke & mirrors’. The school tried hard to pursue us to keep an ECHP however I followed my gut feeling and told them to stop all the support as my child doesn’t need it. And guess what? My son had a good Year 3.
Meantime GOSH sent Educational Psychologist to observe my son (beginning of Year 3). Around Xmas I get a report from
Gosh and I can’t believe what I am reading. See below.

Cognitive and Academic Development
L cannot maintain independent learning without support and prompting. Mr X reported that L is reading at approximately a year 2 level (1 year behind). However, comprehension is a significant struggle; L struggles with inference and even simple retrieval of information he has read. Even with modelling, he struggles to answer basic questions.
Friendships and Relationships
Mr X reported that L had one friend, and that if that child were absent one day L would probably be on his own (e.g. during breaks), as he would struggle to join in socially with the other children. Mr X said that L does not have good social skills and only has one friend.
Mr X informed me that L previously had 1:1 support most of the time but now does not. Mr X feels that Lukas does need 1:1 support as he is unable to work independently without support.

Meantime a month before that above feedback to GOSH, SENCO’s reply to us:

In terms of verbal interaction, we would be looking closely at how he is doing so in the classroom.
There is no dispute that he is interacting well with his close friends in the playground. I also added into the annual review report about vour observations of him in the playground with other children.
Indeed, LA may feel that the TA support that L requires can be met by the class TA. I have made it clear that he does not need full time 1:1 in the classroom. It is quite normal to prompt other children from time to time, L just needs a little more than this. Mr P (Year 2 teacher) said that L is a lovely child to have in the class and easy to work with.

So after reading the GOSH report I go and speak to Mr X and ask how come my son’s reading is a year behind. Mr X replies ‘Don’t worry about L’s reading. His reading is fine!’ I said ‘Well I have just read Gosh report and it said this and this. Mr X suggests to speak about it all via Zoom when Parent Teacher meeting happens.
PS My son always had a group of friends and is a popular, soft spoken boy, polite and its all written in the End of Year Reports.
So during Parent/ Teacher meeting Mr X tells me my son scored above average in comprehension tests, has a group of friends, very good in mental math, has good vocabulary etc
I contacted GOSH and emailed all the correspondence (evidence) from SENCO regarding my son. Emailed all the evidence of how my son scored top mark 40/40 in Phonics and what Mr X said about his comprehension, friendships etc
GOSH right away arranged joint Zoom meeting with Mr X, SENCO and me. And all lies have been exposed. Complete silence from SENCO! They did not even try to defend their previous feedback.
GOSH said kids like L fly under the radar, his ASD case is subtle, he will do well academically and when he is a teen he may find it harder to fit in, may get depressed.
By the way GOSH Educational Psychologist in his report said he doesn’t see any anxiety in my son and that L is a very happy child from what he observed during PE lesson. Also at the end of Year 3 Mr X (Year 3 teacher) reported my child as very confident.
So Year 4 starts (this school year) and during Parent/ Teacher meeting Mrs F starts throwing hints at me how L has ADHD. I know.. lol I explained to her that he definitely does not. I studied and educated myself on both - Asd (subtle cases) and ADHD. SENCO gets called in. Complete silence from her. I leave the meeting saying how it’s time for us to have a meeting with the Headteacher which we did. I was furious! We had a meeting, brought up conflicting feedback to GOSH and was told it was Mr X’s opinion at the time about my son’s comprehension. Basically they had an answer for everything eg it was teacher’s opinion.
So I ended up requesting Subject Access Request (all educational records of my child since Year 1). Have a look at the image attached. My son never had comprehension problems!!!! In fact he scored high average!
My question here on Mumsnet would be - what do I do now? Report the school to Local Authority, Ofsted, Dept of Education? I complained to the Chair of Governors but received a reply with little answers. Mainly he advised to contact LA and was opologetic.
Every time my son has assessments now I ask the teacher Mrs F to email me his results. My son is excelling academically, she said he is mixing with the boys and girls, has a close group of friends which obviously I always knew since I organise playdates, meet with his friends/ parents in the playgrounds. I see how he interacts. You would not even know he has ASD but as I mentioned earlier, lets see how his teenage years go. Maybe that’s when I will see the symptoms.
As of now I need a realistic advice on what can be done to expose / stop the school doing this to another family.
Thank you.

Do you think ADHD is purely children bouncing off the walls. Some ADD can be present, without hyperactivity - dreaming out the window, maybe it isn't ASD, ADHD, but there do appear lots of traits of neurodiversity, could even be dyslexia, because despite myths, not every dyslexic struggles to read or fail to master phonics - it is rare, but possible- it can present as difficulties with handwriting, punctuation, focus, concentration, processing. Work on what your son needs, not the diagnosis. Does he need to be promoted, does he need to be reminded not to blurt out answers, does he need reminders, does he need support not to be influenced by others (this will get worse as he gets older), now you know he was being told to do something that he didn't know he shouldn't or able to say no to his friend, what can the school do to support (notsitting them next to each other). They may have been joking with the teacher to wind them up, but should they have to put up with that, and if they don't have additional needs, expect consequences (I don't think going out of the classroom in primary is a good consequence, but that is the schools approach, so you need to consider how you address it, because standing outside can knock confidence but some children do it because they want to stand outside, because that is better than being in class).

Your writing style is confusing at best and incomprehensible at worst. I suspect it is also highly identifiable and may already have been picked up by staff working with your child. The school sound like they are reporting on behaviours they see, which is absolutely fair enough.

Your child has an autism diagnosis (not Asperger’s, which is not now given as a diagnosis), so what are you trying to achieve here? What do you actually want to happen? What has happened with the EHCP? Has it been ceased?

Ps (sorry me again) I just re-read your letter to the governors. All of your anecdotes in it actually paint a picture of a student with adhd, sorry. I teach a few kids with adhd (admittedly in secondary) and your stories remind me of one of them in particular. Including the one where friend A suggested that he wound up teacher X.

I'm not saying your son has adhd, of course, I've never met him. But my point is, you wrote to the CoG, trying to tell him that your son has been wrongly labelled as adhd. But then all your long-winded examples seem to imply he DOES have adhd. All your anecdotes are counterproductive! It would have been so much better if you'd just written a short letter saying something like:

"I think my son's behaviour is within the spectrum of normal. I believe that school has misdiagnosed him with ADHD. I would like them to rescind this diagnosis. Please advise."

As it is, you have written the CoG a long letter full of odd anecdotes that undermine your case, and vague accusations. You've portrayed yourself as someone who is argumentative but not clear of understanding.

I think at this point it would be much better to back off from the school, let them do what they think is best, until year 5/6 when you can get him reassessed before secondary. After all you said your son is thriving and happy and the academic progress is good.

Do you mean it’s common or should I be concerned?

So the moment my son became fluent the plan became irrelevant.

This really isn’t the case. I think a large part of the problem is your misunderstanding of the SEN system and, in particular, EHCPs. Sadly, many don’t understand how the system works and with English not being your first language it becomes even harder for you to navigate an already difficult system.

I also suspect the LA shouldn’t have ceased the EHCP as I suspect the legal threshold wasn’t met.

I feel sorry for the school tbh, they have reported what they see in school in good faith which might be very different to how he behaves at home in a one to one situation. They supported you in requesting a EHC needs assessment ( let's be clear here the school will have had minimum input into the evidence that established a plan was needed) and then because you didn't like how the support was delivered you threw your toys out of the pram and managed to cease the EHCP. So now they have a child with additional needs without the support of a plan and a parent who disputes and complains about their experiences of the child in school and actively acts against them supporting the child.
Children thrive when parents and schools have a good working relationship and act as a team to support the child this isn't happening. I hope that now that you have accused them of lying being unprofessional and misappropriating your child's support you intend to move your child from the school because it's clear that you don't trust them and the school shouldn't have to put up with this level of harassment.

In Reception (not Yr 3) it's very common and a parent of a Reception child shouldn't be concerned. The letters in our alphabet and writing from left to write are just conventions that have to be learned.

I would say so as well no doubt LA were delighted to cease the plan because of the monies saved and the admin involved being removed. I'm sure they didn't bother to look too closely when they had a parent pushing for it in these cash strapped times.

My son is left handed. Would being left handed would make him write slower, form letters differently?

OP - I would say if you truly feel that the school has lied and you have evidence, then I would suggest you to make a formal complaint.
Also, if you feel that the first therapist diagnosed him based on the basis of EHCP put by the school and then GOSH confirmed it based on the school's report then again you need to phone the hospital and speak to them or write down your concerns in detail. No one can fight for your son except you as a parent. Make points whilst writing, simpler the better. Also, you need to change his school if you truly feel that they have lied as they are never gonna accept it if thats the case. See if the new school also have the same problems.
Usually ASD diagnosis comes after making a working diagnosis initially and then confirmed after years to know if the issues are persistent or not. It seems to me that in your son's case the diagnosis was made very quickly based on the school's one report (correct me if i am wrong). Never be hesitant to raise concerns when talking to a doctor. Question them always. Did you give consent to the psychologist to come to the school? You should have demanded not to make a formal diagnosis based on one report because once the formal diagnosis is made it is difficult to remove it unless the doctor themselves agrees which will be difficult because they hate to admit that they were wrong and then you have to go through formal complaint procedure if they don't agree. Everything will be evidence based but let's be smart that the current school is not gonna agree with you. The only way you can deal with this is by changing schools. I wish you all the best.

@Samee20 No one gets a diagnosis based on 1 report from the school or the EHCP. For a start an ADOS assessment was undertaken.

@hiredandsqueak I can imagine the LA rubbing their hands in glee.

Schools do NOT diagnose ASD, ADHD or anything else! They provide some information which describes the way a child presents in their setting but that's it! This information is a very small part of a multidisciplinary approach to diagnosis. In my county, the school and parent initially provide their view of the child's presentation which is triaged. If it is felt there is sufficient evidence of a possible neurodivergency, evidence is gathered by an educational psychologist, community paediatrician, clinical psychologist, behavioural specialist etc, assessments completed, the child observed, meetings held with the child and parents and only then would a diagnosis be considered.
Different local authorities will have slightly different procedures/ multidisciplinary panels but the principles will be the same. Schools don't simply say " oh, he has autism" and a diagnosis is given!
So, if your child does have a diagnosis of ASD, then there must be plenty of evidence to support it!

I don't think you understand @Samee20 how a second opinion works. GOSH wouldn't have used the first assessment as a basis they would have assessed him as though he hadn't been seen previously and come to their own conclusions.
Just because the school's experience of the child is different to that of his mother doesn't mean the school is lying. ASD and indeed NT children can behave very differently in both environments. My NT son was an angel at home but a devil in school. I didn't doubt what the school said, son completely agreed anyway it was just our experience of the same child was different.
The school haven't diagnosed him with anything diagnosis always comes from health professional. If there had been doubts as to whether child met criteria for diagnosis health wouldn't have diagnosed.
Parent has formally complained see post with rambling paragraphs sent to governing body where in effect she supports the school's assertions that child has additional needs by listing behaviours.
Completely agree with you though relationship with school has broken down and she should remove child to a different school.

This - you were insane to cancel the EHCP out of what seems like a bit of one upmanship. Any extra support for any child is a good thing even if it's 20 mins a couple of times a week etc. it's good to have in place if he does start to struggle or as above to help secure first choice of secondary. Remember also that dc often present and manage very differently in school than they do at home so your experience of home schooling during covid is in absolutely no way relevant even now let alone as he gets older

Of course, the new school did not need our ‘funding’ and supported our son using their SEN budget. Now we understand how SEN budgets work so I know we got tricked.

Who tricked you and how?

We got a place eventually at the school that we wanted (that advised us to get an EHCP) and my son started Year 1.

If it was the original school that ‘tricked’ you, why did you leave the school who didn’t need your funding and supported your son to go back to them?

It’s these kind of threads that make me glad I’m not a teacher!
OP it is almost impossible to unpick your posts but I don’t see any evidence of a conspiracy by the school to gain money by exaggerating your son’s needs. All I see it a school doing their best to meet his needs.
With respect, you are presenting as obstructive.
Either trust the school and work with them or move your son to another school.

@LolafromA Did you secure the school you wanted in year one by naming them as a preference when you were issued the draft EHCP? If so the school would have had no input securing the EHCP reports would have come from the school your child was attending when the request for assessment was made. Your preferred school would have been sent a draft and asked whether they could meet your child's needs that is all.

I exactly know how the second opinion works so please don’t make a judgement based on your assumptions. As said previously I know people from medical fields such as GP and consultants. As per the OP she has mentioned that GOSH initially said to wait and then the education psychologist came to the school and he took Mr X's wrote and wrote in his report. Unless there is something which the OP has not mentioned here. As far I know getting a formal ASD diagnosis is a long journey, and everyone's opinion is taken into consideration including parents. One of the poster has mentioned above the process of getting a formal diagnosis.

You state that your child shouldn't be punished because he has ASD and then state you think his behaviour is typical for his age.

You seem to both want him to be give dispensation for his ASD diagnosis when it stops him bring told off, but then want him to be considered neurotypical.

If he had an EHCP, or even if you worked work the school on creating their senco plans, they'd probably be more gentle when approaching his behaviour.

Also, your understanding of ADHD is so wrong. I've worked with some of the most beautifully behaved children who have ADHD.

"If it is felt there is sufficient evidence of a possible neurodivergency, evidence is gathered by an educational psychologist, community paediatrician, clinical psychologist, behavioural specialist etc, assessments completed, the child observed, meetings held with the child and parents and only then would a diagnosis be considered."

I agree with this poster who has mentioned this. The OP should know if this process was followed or not. I would be very surprised if they just diagnosed him based on his one year school's report. OP - it will be better to clarify if this is the case or not.

My DD is exactly like your son and we had similar lies and misrepresentations. We found early on (thankfully in foundafion!) that the problem isn’t any single teacher it’s state school overall. We moved to private, took SENCO funding, they also bought in funding and expertise from other places too, and DD has progressed excellently with bursaries. My suggestion is to find the best private school in your area and pitch the problem to them & see what they say.

Well having two diagnosed the first took six months from seeing the paediatrician the second eleven months but four months was because of waiting for chromosome and metabolic disorders screening. OPs child wasn't assessed and diagnosed without her full involvement, had there been doubts there wouldn't have been a diagnosis given, no one report can influence a diagnosis one way or the other it is a team assessment. Glad you know doctors and consultants though@Samee20 maybe when you have been through the assessment process you will know how it works as well.

I would be very surprised if they just diagnosed him based on his one year school's report.

If you read OP’s posts it clearly wasn’t. She mentions the ADOS, SALT assessment, EP assessment. And, GOSH’s ASD assessments mostly include a pead, SALT, OT, CP.

@FloatingBean exactly it sounds like the child had gold standard assessment. OP wouldn't have been a bystander she would have been fully involved throughout as I was. It just seems she didn't like the results and now believes everybody was conspiring to give her child a diagnosis and support that he doesn't need against her wishes.

I don’t understand what you want OP?

I very much doubt the school and Chair of Governors do either.

What is it that you want to achieve?