Caught the school lying to us and GOSH about son's progress

[LolafromA]

Hi everyone. Posting it here as I need an advice. Thanks in advance.
Long story short… My son who is now in Year 4 had speech delay. While still in Nursery we were told by SENCO to sort out the funding and apply for an EHCP. Which we did. Didn’t get the place in the same school so we got accepted to another one. Of course, the new school did not need our ‘funding’ and supported our son using their SEN budget. Now we understand how SEN budgets work so I know we got tricked. During Reception year my son’s speech was developing rapidly. He was a sweet boy, very compliant, had friends, loved going to school and enjoyed learning despite speech problems. The teacher described him to me as having a ‘math head’. Which made sense since my brother is Physicist and my husband Cambridge Uni graduate (Astrophysics).
We got a place eventually at the school that we wanted (that advised us to get an EHCP) and my son started Year 1. He settled well and we received positive feedback about his academic progress. The teacher said he just needs to be more independent but they will work on it.
Now a month later during Parent Teacher meeting I mention to the teacher that my son is being assessed by GOSH (2nd opinion) for High Functioning ASD and I will be bringing forms to fill out about his behaviours etc. The teacher seemed surprised that our son has been diagnosed with ASD (my son is in Year 4 now and I am still not 100% sure but at the same time I realise that I am probably surrounded by aspies in my family (math gene is strong). My brother reminds me of Elon Musk a lot - very inteligent, based in Silicon Valley, studied Physics, Optical Engineer, geeky etc.
Now since I mention ASD, things change at school. All of the sudden I am invited for a meeting with SENCO, teachers and S&L Therapist and told my son needs one on one in Math and English lessons four times a week, lego therapy, of course S&L therapy. The amount of funding needed I was shown £12k costs.
At the same time my son (Year 1, has just turned 6) was assessed by GOSH professionals and the tests showed my son’s spelling is as a 9yo, Math - 8 yo and Early Reading Skills - 7 yo.
Because of Covid lockdown I found out these results only at the beginning of Year 2. It all made sense to me because I could not understand how this clever boy needs so much support. Remember I had to teach him during lockdown myself.
Year 2 started and I would ask my child if he has a TA. He would say that no and he is learning together with the whole class. I started questioning TA arrangements with the school and was told that my son has TA now. Later turned out TA was spending only 20 min twice a week with my son. Smoke and mirrors I know… Then another lockdown started from around Xmas. Again I got to witness my boy how easy he is to work with, how amazing memory he has, reads a text - answer questions correctly, comprehends etc So after the lockdown I started calling Local Authority as I felt we are being exploited. His EHCP was bringing the school extra 3k (top up funding). I ceased EHCP at the end of Year 2. Speech Therapist was giving him identical English lessons that I had to teach my son during lockdown myself. So I realised it’s another ‘smoke & mirrors’. The school tried hard to pursue us to keep an ECHP however I followed my gut feeling and told them to stop all the support as my child doesn’t need it. And guess what? My son had a good Year 3.
Meantime GOSH sent Educational Psychologist to observe my son (beginning of Year 3). Around Xmas I get a report from
Gosh and I can’t believe what I am reading. See below.

Cognitive and Academic Development
L cannot maintain independent learning without support and prompting. Mr X reported that L is reading at approximately a year 2 level (1 year behind). However, comprehension is a significant struggle; L struggles with inference and even simple retrieval of information he has read. Even with modelling, he struggles to answer basic questions.
Friendships and Relationships
Mr X reported that L had one friend, and that if that child were absent one day L would probably be on his own (e.g. during breaks), as he would struggle to join in socially with the other children. Mr X said that L does not have good social skills and only has one friend.
Mr X informed me that L previously had 1:1 support most of the time but now does not. Mr X feels that Lukas does need 1:1 support as he is unable to work independently without support.

Meantime a month before that above feedback to GOSH, SENCO’s reply to us:

In terms of verbal interaction, we would be looking closely at how he is doing so in the classroom.
There is no dispute that he is interacting well with his close friends in the playground. I also added into the annual review report about vour observations of him in the playground with other children.
Indeed, LA may feel that the TA support that L requires can be met by the class TA. I have made it clear that he does not need full time 1:1 in the classroom. It is quite normal to prompt other children from time to time, L just needs a little more than this. Mr P (Year 2 teacher) said that L is a lovely child to have in the class and easy to work with.

So after reading the GOSH report I go and speak to Mr X and ask how come my son’s reading is a year behind. Mr X replies ‘Don’t worry about L’s reading. His reading is fine!’ I said ‘Well I have just read Gosh report and it said this and this. Mr X suggests to speak about it all via Zoom when Parent Teacher meeting happens.
PS My son always had a group of friends and is a popular, soft spoken boy, polite and its all written in the End of Year Reports.
So during Parent/ Teacher meeting Mr X tells me my son scored above average in comprehension tests, has a group of friends, very good in mental math, has good vocabulary etc
I contacted GOSH and emailed all the correspondence (evidence) from SENCO regarding my son. Emailed all the evidence of how my son scored top mark 40/40 in Phonics and what Mr X said about his comprehension, friendships etc
GOSH right away arranged joint Zoom meeting with Mr X, SENCO and me. And all lies have been exposed. Complete silence from SENCO! They did not even try to defend their previous feedback.
GOSH said kids like L fly under the radar, his ASD case is subtle, he will do well academically and when he is a teen he may find it harder to fit in, may get depressed.
By the way GOSH Educational Psychologist in his report said he doesn’t see any anxiety in my son and that L is a very happy child from what he observed during PE lesson. Also at the end of Year 3 Mr X (Year 3 teacher) reported my child as very confident.
So Year 4 starts (this school year) and during Parent/ Teacher meeting Mrs F starts throwing hints at me how L has ADHD. I know.. lol I explained to her that he definitely does not. I studied and educated myself on both - Asd (subtle cases) and ADHD. SENCO gets called in. Complete silence from her. I leave the meeting saying how it’s time for us to have a meeting with the Headteacher which we did. I was furious! We had a meeting, brought up conflicting feedback to GOSH and was told it was Mr X’s opinion at the time about my son’s comprehension. Basically they had an answer for everything eg it was teacher’s opinion.
So I ended up requesting Subject Access Request (all educational records of my child since Year 1). Have a look at the image attached. My son never had comprehension problems!!!! In fact he scored high average!
My question here on Mumsnet would be - what do I do now? Report the school to Local Authority, Ofsted, Dept of Education? I complained to the Chair of Governors but received a reply with little answers. Mainly he advised to contact LA and was opologetic.
Every time my son has assessments now I ask the teacher Mrs F to email me his results. My son is excelling academically, she said he is mixing with the boys and girls, has a close group of friends which obviously I always knew since I organise playdates, meet with his friends/ parents in the playgrounds. I see how he interacts. You would not even know he has ASD but as I mentioned earlier, lets see how his teenage years go. Maybe that’s when I will see the symptoms.
As of now I need a realistic advice on what can be done to expose / stop the school doing this to another family.
Thank you.

Well, they don’t HAVE the budget.

It’s not “don’t want to” it’s “can’t afford to” most schools are operating on exceptionally tight budgets and that means a lot of tough decisions need to be made. Funding additional SALT beyond what the NHS can provide simply isn’t an option for nearly every school unless there is an EHCP which very clearly states that is what is needed and funds it.

Sigh... as someone with a high IQ but very SEN child without an EHCP (never applied as by the time we needed one it was too late) I find your posts all a bit nuts.

Getting any kind of help is hard, getting any help when your child is passing but not meeting potential is impossible.

It's cost me a fortune replacing outside school what an EHCP could have paid for inside school.

OP, frankly you are celebrating far too early. DD was fine till about 14 and then her raw intelligence was no longer enough for her to cope with everything.

I really hope it goes well for your DS, but I have a feeling the teachers were trying to do you a massive favour. You want worst case scenario assessments... not best day.

Listen, I understand the schools are tight financially. However they provided S&L for my younger son without an EHCP in Year 1.
Thats the thing about my kids, that they appear very normal kids. A regular person wouldn’t even realise they are on the spectrum unless you are professional or really know what signs to look for eg tone of voice, lack of facial expressions., Our asd case is subtle as GOSH told me. If I didn’t tell anyone no-one would know.. I understand they are prone to anxiety, depression and teenage years might be difficult. So yeah, I am keeping an eye on him. But as of now he is a really cool kid. I have nothing to worry as of now. In fact I see him as doing really well in life. Call it mother’s intuition?..

Please, just to say please don’t talk about ‘normal’ kids. I’m not usually someone who worries about terminology as I know it can change quickly and it’s intentions that matter, but you’ve got a partner and children who are autistic so not thinking in terms of ‘normal’ and… whatever other terms you use would be kind, at least.

SALT, from an actual SALT, rather than a speech and language group delivered by an assistant or TA in excess of the NHS’s standard offer without an EHCP is very rare. Brilliant if DC2 received that. It is not common, and it does not mean the HT was lying or the EHCP was unnecessary.

None of what you write about (subtle, happy, academically able, cool, now speaking fluently, having friends…) means the EHCP wasn’t necessary. None of it at all.

Yes, the school has their own SALT (at least two). Or should I say SALTs company has contracts with the local schools.
Sorry about terminology ‘normal’. I personally see it as a difference. Your brain is more i intelligent, logical, less emotional, less social etc. And again I speak about my family members only. My brother didn’t know until late 30’s he is autistic. I had no clue what autism is. Now I understand it and everything makes sense.. Silicon Valley geeks/ nerds..

It isn’t rare for schools to have contracts with providers. It doesn’t mean an EHCP wasn’t necessary.

Oh goodness. I’m not sure you do understand it at all. And again, “geeks and nerds”. Pleasurable!

As I said I talk about my family men only who I obviously know very well. Same about my kids. I know them! So do the teachers. But I doubt I should listen too much into mumsnet mums who have never met my family. Peace ladies.
as GOSH said kids like my son fly under the radar. It says it all. Oh, GOSH also gave me three examples of famous people - Albert Einstein, Bill Gates and Elon Musk. I looked around and bingo! My brother is Physicist, my awkward husband somehow found it very easy to graduate Cambridge Uni (Natural Sciences & Astrophysics 1st degree) but I was his first ever serious gf at the age of 23. Meantime my brother once send me an email saying he doesn’t know what’s going on with his brain, he can’t sleep on high doses of sleeping pills. Now we understand he was most likely having autistic burnout. There are more little things here and there that just make sense. Listen these generations survived without a diagnose. As my mom describes my brother - he is/ was a very good child, but very reserved. There was one job where colleagues labelled him rude. Poor guy didn’t even know why.. Anyway he is more than fine now. We all know about ASD and t’s not a secret anymore. He avoids this topic.

I am glad we know upfront about ASD when it comes to my son/ sons (2nd son is not diagnosed; knowing about ASD will be enough I hope). They are happy and confident kids and both are doing really well. Teenage years - scary, just as to any parent but we will cross that bridge when we reach it

I do think people are posting on here to help rather than upset you. Many of us have gone through hell with getting support for our own autistic children and we don’t want that for you. Saying ‘we’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it’ is an example - that bridge might be a really wide and steep one. My child spent almost a year out of school entirely while we fought and fought to get an EHCP and appropriate education. I would have given anything for that to have been in place in primary, when we had a diagnosis, and to have saved us all that experience. We’re now trying to get things vaguely back on track for GCSEs but I don’t know if that will happen any time. My child is clever, sociable, funny etc but burned out by school. Autistic children all over the country are having the same experience in secondary school.

Exactly this, great post. I commented above as a mum and also from my experience as a clinical psychologist and seeing just how hard it is for some children to receive any support, and how so many people wish they had addressed this earlier, rather than waiting to see how things are.

Hello, does anyone have any advice for me please. My eldest son was bullied in primary school by a large group of children. These children lied when question by the teachers and blamed my son, my son and I were then targeted by the teachers and bullied. My son had numerous days off in primary school due to being anxious about the bullying and nothing was done. How can one child bully a large group of children, miss numerous days off due to anxiety yet not be believed at all?! The same thing is now happening again in high school due to the primary schools false biased reports about my son. He is being accused by one of the same children and a support worker as slapping a child when he did not do this and his friends are witnesses. I have sent emails which I don’t get a reply from. The lrimary school actually informed the police about my emails yet I wasnt visited, (yet) I feel I am being bullied. The head of primary has cried infront of me many times and told me she always cries. That’s nothing to do with me. I have all my emails as proof and they are very clear that I am trying to protect my son from bullying, this included comments about his appearance , calling him stupid, threats of violence from the child who lied about my son slapping him. How can no one believe my son who is absolutely not violent at all against a child who is experienced in karate, who is threatening to knock my child’s teeth out?!

You need to start your own thread. People are just going to respond to the OP.