Don't seem to like private schooling

[Chickpea17]

So off the back of a thread I just seen why do so many people on MN seem to dislike private schooling so much? I'm not judging one way or another just curious.
I have a almost 5 year old and we can't afford private schooling so haven't given it much thought.

Not satire and not clueless, no more clueless than the many ill informed comments against private school on this post.
So I should sacrifice my DDs education and chose to send her to a frankly crap state school because you think I should? Give your head a shake.
I have never denied our privileged position but neither am I going to apologise for it.
Obviously the people who can afford private but chose state have a much higher moral compass than myself (even though you've never met me) so give them a biscuit and a pat on the head 🙄
Neither myself or DH are privately educated her we have chosen this route for our DD. This isn't a crime and I have no feelings of remorse, I definitely won't be doing faux hand wringing just to please you.
You are purposely mis-reading my comments to spin into your opinion of me.

Again @twistyizzy my comments were in response to those who said that people were against state schools because they are jealous - at no point have I told you what you should or shouldn’t do with your own child’s education. I can be ideologically against private education and still respect someone else has a different opinion/can make their choice for their own child (which is kind of my point about my own children and their education). Now I would try to explain more, but I’ll be too busy wobbling my head, patting heads, distributing biscuits and mainly cringing about your clueless, patronising comments, which are impossible to misread.

*against private schools, obviously!

@twistyizzy the fact is most privately educated types in power don't massively go in for making life better for everyone, they just collect advantage as we can see in the UK with the deepening of inequality. And as for small private schools being different to the big ones like Eton and Westminster, well.... most of the Tories are from second-rate private schools, so they're probably even worse! They certainly aren't there from talent - all the decent Tories have been usurped by the new wave of particularly abhorrent ones like JR Mogg.
It's interesting that the current Tory party is also full of pull-up-the-ladder behind them types, like Braverman. No empathy, all absolutely convinced that they're there from hard work and making the right choices in life.

Society would benefit if schools were more representative and less discriminatory. It's great you give to charity, by the way.

My husband and I both went to public schools: our children are at one now.

This gets trotted out all the time as a reason: networking. It’s just not our experience or mindset and I don’t know anybody who thinks like that. Most people just want the best for their kids: I don’t know why people make out like it’s joining the masons or something.

I am interested in why private education gets so much more vitriol than private medical care.

Private education is hated because (it is said) it buys rich children certain career advantages that poorer kids don’t get.

But private medical care can literally be the difference between life and death. An immediate operation to remove a malignant growth vs a waiting list. The best surgeon in the country vs a junior being supervised, or someone with little experience of that particular op. Etc etc

Why aren’t people up in arms about private healthcare?

Yes, it’s absolutely your choice to send your child to private school, but that facts remains and my point is that there are people who are lucky enough to afford to do it, but who choose not to.

Of course parents can choose a great state school over a mediocre private one. I think many at parents just want the best education for their child, the education that suits them best!

Many parents unfortunately don't have the choice as the local state schools are not good or best suited to their child.

And the fact is you are tarring all private school kids with the same brush as our current lot of self-serving politicians. Of course it would be great if the whole of society was more equal and representative but it isn't therefore by extension our schools aren't.

bollocks

@Sherbs12 I never once said people who are against private schools are jealous! You obviously don't respect anyone who has a different opinion to your own in the slightest.
You accuse me of being patronising in the same sentence as you patronise me 🤣
ODFOD

Because those who are opposed to private schools usually have zero experience of them

Controversial but…

One of the benefits of a private education that DH and I have observed in our professional lives, is the incredible self confidence (or arrogance) that enables people to convince everyone around them that they are wonderful and deserve to be promoted well beyond their abilities. This is in addition to the connections it obtains.

It pisses me right off when people talk about all the ‘sacrifices’ they’ve made to send their kids private- as if everyone could afford to do this if they would only put their children first🙄. It would cost more than my entire monthly wage to put my kids through the local potty private school. Even with scholarships it wouldn’t be feasible. They’re usually paltry and a nod towards justifying their charitable statuses anyway.

I think, in general though, I just have a profound problem with the concept of private/elite education full stop. I think every child should go to their local school. I also disagree with cramming and tutoring for grammar school. If a child can’t pass the 11+ without their parents forking out for extra lessons, then they probably shouldn’t be at there.

Good point private healthcare.

If the consultants worked full time in the NHS instead of part time and part time private then that would surely help NHS waiting lists.

I guess medical insurance is more affordable by more people.

If private schools are scrapped then I suspect houses prices near the best state schools will go crazy.

£2k a month per child is one hell of an additional mortgage.

So the 'poor' kids that could potentially have gone to the state school now won't get in.

Brilliant social engineering there.

I didn’t say you that you did - read it back. I said that my original comment was aimed at to those who HAD made the comment about jealousy and you then replied to this. The notion that private schools teach awareness of privilege whilst also benefiting from that privilege and being part of an institution that is for the few but is being praised for instilling social responsibility is patronising (to say the least) to those who struggle because of social inequality.
Finally, I really do respect that it’s an individual choice. You want what is best for your child, I understand that - my point is that ‘the best’ can look like different things to different people and the system (not aimed at you, just to be clear) as a whole should be about wanting the best for all children.

But how do we know the disproportionate representation is from the private schooling? As many have said on this thread, the one thing those using private schooling have in common is affluence.

I suspect the children of equally affluent parents who choose to buy the £1m house in the excellent catchment, buy extra tutoring, work in careers where they have useful connections and pay a fortune for confidence building sports and extra curricular activities for their kids are also disproportionately represented in positions of power, we just don't measure it.

This.
But it rarely gets a response in these threads....

Because it’s completely different.

Private healthcare really does ‘free up’ NHS resources. If somebody goes for private health care it’s usually because they’re in pain or suffering and are willing to pay for faster treatment - nobody is going to begrudge them that. And private healthcare doesn’t then elevate you in social standing to a place where you can unfairly take most of the top university places and jobs afterwards. The effects are nowhere near as far reaching.

Private healthcare really does ‘free up’ NHS resources.

Does it?

Surely a private consultant or dentist only has so many hours in the day to treat patients.

If these are all taken up by private work, then that leaves little time for NHS patients.

@minipie You’re so right that private health can mean the difference between life and death. I think many people are up in arms about it, but under the wider umbrella of health inequality (lower life expectancy in areas of social deprivation, the impact of poor housing on health, etc) . I guess many of those in government with the power to improve public services also have the privilege to pay privately for both education and health.

I don't understand the hatred for it. People pay for private health and well-being treatments all the time- is it unfair that some live longer than others due to the lifestyles they can afford to live? People are commended for relieving the nhs of strain by paying for private care but for some reason they don't feel the same way when it comes to education.

@Neverhappyalwayshopeful ‘Is it unfair that some live longer than others because of the lifestyles they can afford to live?’ Is that really a serious question? Is it fair that those born into social deprivation have a lower life expectancy? Just to be clear in answer to your question: yes it is unfair!

But how do we know the disproportionate representation is from the private schooling?

It's not from the schooling - I mean it's not because these people are more able or better educated, that's the problem. Around 25% of high achieving A level students are privately educated. Yet they are disproportionately represented at the best universities and in jobs with high remuneration and power.

I don't have a problem with people who are high achievers doing well, even when they have had help from tutors, affluent parents or private education. The problem is with people who are high achievers not getting jobs because their parents weren't rich enough to send them to the right school.

@SoTedious your posts are like your name.

I send mine to private because the provision is 10x better in terms of engagement, support, breadth and depth. 99% of private school kids don’t end up with much of a networking advantage, they are just better educated/ educated in a way that helps them achieve their individual potential. Mine will likely not be masters of the universe types, are not likely to compete for top university placements, but they will be the best versions of themselves.

I wish I didn’t have to go private to get that. I am American and am very nostalgic for US schools which are generally well funded and do amazing things for students. Most in the us, even the wealthy, go to state schools. If uk schools were half as good I would happily save the fees

your posts are like your name

Just answering a question someone asked me 🤷‍♀️

And addressing the OP - this is the reason many people don't agree with private education. I don't think the Not All Private Schools Are Like That argument has much weight.