Winchester college or Sherborne

[Wintergardener]

Good afternoon,
I am new to mumsnet and hope you can advise. My DS has a conditional offer for Winchester College and also an offer for Sherborne.

We were a little surprised that he received the offer for Winchester as I was unsure if he would meet the academic level but they obviously thought otherwise.The question I need to ask is how will a boy do at Winchester if he is average academically? Is Sherborne a better option?. I know some very bright boys go to Sherborne but the seem to have a wider intake.

We have a third option, DS could attend as a day student. Is this the best option? Leaving everything to the school does worry me.

Have you read the Winchester College threads on MN? It's obviously going through a period of transition. What is your day option? Is it mixed?

My day option is Tonbridge so DS would be a day student at a school where majority the majority board .The commute is longer than I would like but doable. I know that Winchester is going through changes , introducing girls and day pupils. It's just so difficult to get a real insight into the school.

Personally I would never knowingly send a child to a school where I suspected they’d be in the bottom third academically. But that’s just my opinion and of course your son may not even be in that position at Winchester.

I do worry about this @NeedingCoffee.

Your ds is obviously way above averagely academic to have offers from Tonbridge and Winchester. In his class at school where are the most academic dc going?
I would look at at the variables:
Sport
Music
Uni destinations
Housemasters
Does he want to be a day boy at a boarding school?
Is he quite robust to manage Tonbridge or is he quiet / studious?
When do you need to pay the deposit / commit to fees?
Are able to visit Sherborne to watch Saturday matches? I can't think where you live!

I know two boys who went to Winchester, one leaving this year. They really liked it, and both were very bright (one got a full scholarship and is doing maths at Durham).
Have to say they were both on the eccentric side too!

Also could he not board at Tonbridge but you are near enough for him to come home at the weekends?

DS is not sporty, he is musical and loves drama.
I don't expect him to be playing in matches for the school, he is the least sporty boy at prep school. He is reasonably resilient and has never has any problem at current school.

The most academic boys are going to Eton and Westminster. Tonbridge would be a fairly long compute but we make it work.

At the moment the place at Tonbridge is a day one but we could possibly apply for a boarding place. DH would like to ask if it could be changed to a boarding place, it might be the best option.
DS could come home on Saturday afternoon until Sunday if he did board there.

@Wintergardener , yes that sounds like a good option. I live in Surrey and my neighbour's son at Tonbridge comes home after his match on Saturdays and goes back on the train on Sundays.
But I would add that it sounds like your ds is at a very high performing prep school and he would probably be fine at Winchester too. External exams - GCSE's and A levels - really aren't that hard for a bright child, it whether he would be interested in all the extra academic teaching at Winchester or not .

Are your friends happy with Tonbridge @redrobin75 ? It has a lot to offer DS ,they are aware of his lack of sporting ability but still offered a place.

@Wintergardener , yes it was the only boarding school he applied to, the other options were London day schools (but not Westminster). The ds plays rugby but is a lovely kind boy and into singing and drama.

Thank you @redrobin75 that's so good to hear.

Winchester and Sherborne are not in the same league. Not even close.

OP, have you visited each of the schools already? Nothing can replace your gut feeling, and this is something you would need to consider for yourself.

You have chosen three very different schools, Wincoll and Tonbridge are both fairly academic, Tonbridge is more STEM-oriented and more alpha, WinColl is fairly balanced b/w sciences and humanities with more of a hand in the back. They both feel purposeful though, WinColl more relaxed with camaraderie, Tonbridge more sporty and competitive. Sherborne is in a totally different league, more of a country club with a school inside in my view🙂

From your list of extras, music is def best served at WinColl, sport at Tonbridge and Sherborne is all about extras, as academic ambition is not necessarily a top priority there🤓. I am also not sure how a non-sporty musical child would fit into Tonbridge, square peg in a round hole?

Imho it is dangerous for a teen to board at a non-academic school, too many distractions at that age. Kids will usually enjoy the company of similar kids (just read a paper on this, apparently a certain deviation of IQ will make relationships unworkable) and at least one of these schools has a very thorough selection process as you know, and wouldn’t have offered if your DS hadn’t aced his tests and wouldn’t be absolutely confident in his academic ability as they have a skin in the game too.

You should just go and visit the schools as many times as possible🙂

Impo things to check during a visit

• Boarding community: speak to boarders, ideally when they are unprepared😉
• Compulsory sports: you’ll need to make sure your DS is comfy to spend 3*2 hours with the sport (rugby in the rain?) the school does each term
• Dining arrangements (shared is a pain, think long queues, wintertime, noise, lack of intimacy, etc)
• Music: if your DS plays a big and loud instrument (tuba, piano, bass, etc) then the location of the music school/ piano in-house will be important
• Prep infra: where (bed is not ideal), supervised in lower years
• Pollution levels (no issue at these schools though)

Irrelevant:

• Dorm arrangements and facilities should be fairly low on the list in my view
• League tables/oxbridge rates: anything in the top 50 will be top tier with great teaching, and Oxbridge is so political and soc engineering these days that it’s probably not the best place anymore for academic excellence anyhow
• Distance of boarding house to school 🙂

@Rockhall We have visited each school a few times and will have the opportunity to do so again. Thank you your detailed reply, there is a lot to consider.

May I ask @Rockhall ,do you have experience of these schools as a parent?

Yes, but only WinColl and Tonbridge, Sherborne only via visits/reputation.
Sry for the clinical list, I just remember obsessing about things like walking distance from school at the time (doesn’t matter, teens can and should walk) while ignoring dining arrangements (does matter for bonding)

Check out MFL too as not every school offers every language to A-levels

Thank you @Rockhall, that's very helpful.

I would add that dorm arrangements only matter in the extreme e.g. single rooms carry a danger of isolation, unsupervised gaming, etc. As a former boarder I am a big fan of large dorms in the lower years. For my parents (and if I am honest, also for me) it was a shock when I arrived aged 13 into a dorm shared with 9 other kids whom I've never met before. In sixth form when we were offered doubles and triples, to which we all said "no way"!

There is a strength in numbers and it keeps the community spirit alive, which makes large dorms a force to be reckoned with. The smaller the dorm, the more difficult it is to keep that cohesion and camaraderie alive. IMHO, as I am aware that most parents these days say smaller is better. Not my experience though.

@Wintergardener and others. When did you hear? I thought the results weren't out until the beginning of May. Did you hear through your prep?

My son is in year 7 @parent1709.

We have highly academic DS originally headed for Winchester from an Eton/Harrow/Winchester prep, but every contact we had with the school made us like and trust it less. The handling of their change plans was a last straw and we decided at the last minute to choose Sherborne instead. I know we weren’t the only family to do this- I have certain knowledge of three boys in their year who jumped from Winchester to Sherborne at Easter in Y8.
I’d agree that Sherborne is less academically demanding than W or T, but it’s clear the academic profile is increasing and there are enough very clever boys to provide competition and stretch. Crucially though, there are also boys whose strengths lie elsewhere and we see merit in a school community with more mixed talents, better reflecting real life- the world isn’t made of Wykehamists.
What’s less well-known to those who only see Sherborne as match day visitors, is that it’s a school that really takes music seriously. Being musical is high status- which isn’t the case everywhere for adolescent boys- and the cultural life of the school and town is much enhanced by this.
The more I see and hear about Winchester’s current situation the more I’m glad we opted out. No doubt it will settle back down into greatness- but boyhoods won’t wait for that!

Noone in their right minds would give a Winchester offer back for a Sherborne unless their children are not up to par academically. Nice PR try though!