Hello,
I have two daughters. DD1 is in year 8, DD2 is in year 7. We live in nice area, we love our home and our local state primary was outstanding too but unfortunately local state secondary schools are not good. So we only considered grammar and independent schools for secondary.
DD1 last year started to really selective outstanding girls only (which we prefer) grammar school. She loved her school and she has really nice group her friends. She also had offers from independent schools but we prefered grammar school because when we compared gcse results they were very similar. But ofcourse independent schools facilities and clubs was better but we felt its not worth to pay £21k for that.
DD2 started girls only independent school this year. This is because unfortunately she coudnt get in to any grammar school (she was on waiting list but unfortunately she coudnt have a space in the end). She is so talented in music, she plays 2 instruments and she loves singing. She is also good swimmer. Because off that we pay only %50 of school fees. In this senario we felt like its worth to pay £8k in a year for independent schools as she will be using facilities. DD1 is so academic focus and she is super good in STEM subjects but DD2 less academic but loves music, sport, even art. We now pay about £9k for her school fees in a year (which is good price nowadays for independent schools).
We are not rich family at all. But education is so important for us. So that we didnt want to send DD2 to local state seconday which we believe she will not be happy and flourish.
In addition, while we are paying DD2 schools fees we decide to save money for DD1 and this year we opened saving account for her and
transfered her account 5k (we decided to save 5k for her every year) so when she become 18 she can buy her own car or use it for deposit for her house etc. This amount is max we can do. We go to holiday, trips, eat outside as usual. We have mortgage to pay as well so in the end we only saved 5k.
My DD1 knows that we are saving money for her but still she says that her sister is more special because she goes to private school with better facilities. DD2s Independent school is local but she needs to travel by train (not underground) to school and travel 20 mins etc. She also doesn’t like when DD1 friends visit our house (we live 5 mins to school so girls visit our so often), she feel sad because she says that her classmates are not local so they can not do the same.
I feel so bad when she talks like that. I explained her so many times that her school is also so amazing. I honestly believe the grammar school doing better job because they have so similar gcse results.
But its looks like we need to find other solution. There is no way we can pay full fee (19k) for independent school. I wish she had also 50% off. But unfortunately we dont have that option as well. DD2 didnt also got place in grammar school.
Resit DD2 to grammar school exams (if they have space)? But she is so happy in her school.
Resit DD1 to independent school exams (if they have space, maybe she can receive academic bursary?
My husband said we can move to cheaper area or cheaper/smaller house or put house on sale and rent. But they all sounded so stressful for me because we love our house and area and we live so close to our families which is so important for us. Also moving or buying other house is so expensive nowaday. Stamp duty, cost of moving etc all extra cost.
I really dont know what to do. I also prefer to spend same amount and provide same standards, same educations for them but honestly I never planned this:(:(:(