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Original poster

Do grandparents pay your school fees?

96 replies

catamongsttheflowers · 19/01/2022 16:46

Is it quite common for GP to pay school fees? My parents are always offering to pay for my two DC to go to private school and I have resisted so far as it feels a step too far but am I denying my children a private education? We 100% cannot afford it but they absolutely can and say otherwise the money will just swallowed by inheritance tax and it is for the grandchildren rather than for me personally.
I myself went to private school - it seems a bit harsh to make them pay for it all over again! I went private and now can't afford private... I guess what I'm asking is how common is this arrangement?

OP posts:
HasaDigaEebowai · 19/01/2022 16:49

If our friends are anything to go by it’s very common for at least one child. Loads of them seem to have grandparents funding at least one set of fees

2pinkginsplease · 19/01/2022 16:56

If you rely on grandparent to pay school fees would you be able to afford school fees when grandparent are no longer here.

I personally wouldn’t rely on anyone to pay anything for my children.

GrazingSheep · 19/01/2022 16:57

As long as there are clear lines ie grandparents have no say in the chosen school

Original poster
catamongsttheflowers · 19/01/2022 16:59

If grandparents were no longer here they have already said then my inheritance would have to be used

OP posts:
FindmeuptheFarawaytree · 19/01/2022 17:12

Segeral of the children I was at school with had their gps pay the fees. I suppose it depends if you believe it gives them a real advantage and are happy to have them pay? Are there other things the money could be spent on now to help them in future? Ultimately it's something only you can decide.

SockFluffInTheBath · 19/01/2022 17:13

It happens a lot round here. I only know one person who pays their own children’s school fees.

GiantSpider · 19/01/2022 17:15

I think this is fairly common OP. I can think of a few examples that I know of, and there may be more who don't advertise the arrangement.

CallMeK · 19/01/2022 17:16

I'd say half if not more of the students fees are paid at least in part by GP's at our school. It's super common. Also a lot of students have expat parents and fees are paid by their company.

RedAndGreenPlaid · 19/01/2022 17:19

We paid them ourselves, but plenty of families in our school had assistance from their parents/PILs. The only issue you might encounter is if they specify which school/s are acceptable to them.

SilverontheTree · 19/01/2022 17:19

Inheritance tax planning is very important.
My parents pay for as much as they can for us- holidays etc. They can gift £3k a year to you and your DC as well, tax free.
DS school fees are paid by them in a roundabout way via a trust they have set up for him with a rental property and it gets dividends too from our family business. I don’t really understand it completely!

Shannith · 19/01/2022 17:20

They pay DD's though when I was with ex DP they didn't as we could afford them.

However, they pay and have paid for all the other GC - at far more expensive schools. We were the odd ones out but it's useful now and I'm very grateful.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 19/01/2022 17:25

@CallMeK

I'd say half if not more of the students fees are paid at least in part by GP's at our school. It's super common. Also a lot of students have expat parents and fees are paid by their company.
DH's dad's company paid for his school fees as they were expats. When his dad died they stopped. They also took away the house they lived in, and gave his widow nothing in pension even though he'd paid in for 22 years.

Fun times...

TooWicked · 19/01/2022 17:27

I only know 2 people with children at private school and they are all paid for by their grandparents,

ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing · 19/01/2022 17:28

My grandparents paid for me. If I had chosen private for my kids and if my parents could have afforded it I am sure they would have wanted to contribute.

Original poster
catamongsttheflowers · 19/01/2022 17:32

Okay so it happens quite a lot then. Thanks all for replying.

OP posts:
Original poster
catamongsttheflowers · 19/01/2022 17:32

The school would be dictated by them but it isn't a bad choice.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 19/01/2022 17:34

No and if it was the only way to afford Private I wouldn’t do it
My mum did say that if we ever struggled to pay the terms fees she would do it rather than the dc leave (it’s never happened )

Snoopsnoggysnog · 19/01/2022 17:34

I would say it’s fairly common, mine don’t pay my DCs fees but they keep offering to. I would take them up on it if I couldn’t afford it.

Hoppinggreen · 19/01/2022 17:34

@catamongsttheflowers

The school would be dictated by them but it isn't a bad choice.
And this is why I wouldn’t do it
Lolamento · 19/01/2022 17:35

I wish I were in your position. Go for it.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 19/01/2022 17:35

Also if I could afford it I would be happy to pay for my GC fees in the future.

RB68 · 19/01/2022 17:38

It is common - its also common to put money in a trust fund to pay for it so that if one or other grandparent passes away the money is already tidied away to pay for school. I think if I was offered it via a fund to pay for whole education I would say yes.

My own Grandfather wanted to pay for mine from age 7 and we looked. He passed away when I was 6.5 yrs old and it never happened

pidgefork · 19/01/2022 17:40

Wow you're very lucky. My PIL can't even be bothered to remember their grandchildrens birthdays. Well they'll remember for one DC and then forget for the other which goes down a treat as you can imagine. They're wealthy too.

vinoandbrie · 19/01/2022 17:40

Go for it. It will go to the taxman when they die otherwise, and for what. Good luck in your decision!

TooWicked · 19/01/2022 17:42

Something to bear in mind (and something that one of the people I know struggle with) is all of the other fees…

The extra curricular activities and the kit and equipment you will need to buy for your children to do them, the school trips both in the UK and abroad that aren’t included in the school fees, some of the social things your children will be invited to for which you would be expected to pay for them, etc.

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