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Original poster

Help!! Not sure about how to give notice to leave prep

31 replies

Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 21:36

My dd is having a miserable time this term so far and just seems to be struggling with a strict new teacher. I have no issues with strictness personally but dd seems to find it very hard.

There are longer term concerns with the prep school as well and how well they support her with her personal struggles.

She may have asd (assessment about to start) so doesn’t deal well with change.

We are terrified that if we pull her out now to another local school( 3-18) with a place and she doesn’t settle then she’s going to be worse off than she is now.

Can we move her and just keep paying the fees to the first school as well, then move her back if it isn’t working in the new school? She isn’t great socially and at least has some friends in the first school.

I’m really scared and at my wits end for what to do. Any advice you have I would be really grateful

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 21:38

I realise this sounds crazy and money wise would be horrific but just don’t want to wreck things for dd by moving her, as I don’t think the current school would offer her a place again if we left.

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RamblingFar · 30/09/2021 21:43

I doubt the current school would be willing to keep her place open, but I could be wrong.

cricketjoys85 · 30/09/2021 21:51

@Lovesicecreams , you need to speak to the head of the prep and ask for advice. You can't move her without a reference from her current school so you might as well involve them now, no one wants an upset child or parent.

Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:01

I’m terrified basically to do anything. Feel like anything I do has the potential to go horribly wrong.

If we are still paying and haven’t given notice and child educated elsewhere offsite, can they legally take away the place? Eg a child at our prep went to back to a home country in Asia for a stay for a few months and went to school there and place was kept open and fees paid. Could we do similar?

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:02

If our dd doesn’t make friends or click with the new school she would be best served by coming back basically.

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:03

I knew someone who moved schools - a friend she’s 40 now but when we were kids she made a move to a different private school, didn’t work out and she came back

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cricketjoys85 · 30/09/2021 22:12

Yes you can take a child to another country or home school but you can't move them to another school in the uk without the current school knowing etc. There is a process called de-registration that all private and state school use in the uk. Start speaking to the current school for advice.

cricketjoys85 · 30/09/2021 22:13

Yes dc do move to 1 school and then come back but as you say it's very expensive.

Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:14

I totally get that I will have to tell them and absolutely always would. I just wanted to know if there is any way to be registered simultaneously in two settings.

I will need to roughly know what I want to ask and what’s legally / practically possible usually before I talk to them, so I don’t sound crazy.

Sadly they will not be helpful I don’t think Sad

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:15

@cricketjoys85 that’s reassuring that at least it happens. We haven’t given notice so if we move immediately we would in any event be paying her fees for this term

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:15

We could afford it from savings - most important is just for her to be happy

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cricketjoys85 · 30/09/2021 22:16

No you can only be registered at 1 school at a time but yes a private school can hold a place if in agreement with the parents. I would focus more on the report the current prep would write about your dd is they were to receive the request shortly.

LIZS · 30/09/2021 22:19

You can only give notice for a full term , so would pay until Easter now. Can she do a trial week before you formally give notice at Christmas?

Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:20

I plan to be very frank from the off with potential new school so they won’t get anything in the report I haven’t said

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:20

@LIZS that’s a very good idea - I didn’t know that was an option

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:21

So one option would be legally to stay registered at current school but pay for a few weeks of trial at the new?

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LIZS · 30/09/2021 22:25

If they will do so. I don't think registration in private sector is so cut and dried.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 30/09/2021 22:35

Have done a trial day at another prep where we had a small difference in term dates which allowed it; before literally jumping in with both feet and deciding.

We finished out the next term and then she started at the new school. No huge issues with the old school but couldn't offer the same level of sen support and larger classes.

You will need to take the decision and stick with it. You can't have a child swinging back and forth like a pendulum. They will always have a bad day here and there. I would do your research carefully.

Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:35

That’s what I was hoping @LIZS

I’ve paid so contractually it’s still my place for dd hopefully

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:36

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams I agree?- she can’t be going back and forth. I would plan to tel her it’s a definite move provided new school gives her a place and only move her back if it went wrong

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 30/09/2021 22:37

Sorry I don’t know why there’s a question mark there

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SinoohXaenaHide · 30/09/2021 23:31

@Lovesicecreams I doubt that the new school would let you pay for just a few weeks without committing. A day or two of taster sessions certainly, but not weeks. Both schools need to maximise their own income and will have other potential pupils waiting in the wings. I am sure that they will both happily keep places open for your child for as long as you stick to their standard terms which is to pay fees termly in advance and commit to paying the next term's fees if notice is not given by the first day of any term. So yes you are already committed to paying the fees of the current school until Easter. If your DD does more than just a taster day and starts attending the new school as a pupil not a visitor you will be just as committed to those fees too. If you don't make a firm decision by 6th January (or whatever the first day back is) then you'd be committed to paying double fees for the summer term too.

minipie · 30/09/2021 23:38

I don’t think this is practical really even if the schools would allow it.

Think about it, if you tell the current school you are trying out another school, you are effectively saying you’re not happy with them. If your DD then goes back there it’s a bit of a soured relationship all round.

I think you need to try to do a trial day at the new school, speak to as many parents as you possibly can (ask views on MN/Nextdoor etc) and then make a permanent decision. You can’t really hedge your bets.

Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 01/10/2021 05:20

@minipie the relationship is already quite sour as dd isn’t an easy pupil despite her best efforts.

I wouldn’t want to move her at all in an ideal world as the move would be really difficult for us. School she’s at is in our village and new school is more expensive and a long car ride.

What do I do though if I move her and the friendships don’t form? She will then be isolated and I really fear for her mental health

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Original poster
Lovesicecreams · 01/10/2021 05:22

@SinoohXaenaHide “ I am sure that they will both happily keep places open for your child for as long as you stick to their standard terms which is to pay fees termly in advance and commit to paying the next term's fees if notice is not given by the first day of any term.” this is really helpful thank you

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