The Public School ‘Secrets’

[DadAManger]

Does anyone else have some experience of one of the top 9 public schools as a parent and feel they are beginning to understand the secrets of such institutions? What I observe (broadly) is:

1 - Incredible resources and facilities, which allow the pupils to receive very high standards of teaching and to try lots of different activities and pursue them as far as they possibly can
2 - A no-hiding culture - everyone must contribute to their (small) classes, do serious amounts of additional study, undertake several assignments per week, do activities each day (four activities per week). Everyone - no exceptions
3 - An expectation of excellence and a mindset that the best is expected from everyone each day. Successes are publicly celebrated swiftly
4 - A camaraderie among the boarding houses that is actively encouraged, so that close friendships are quickly formed
5 - Extras such as speaking assignments, debating teams, moots - all of which are aimed at increasing confidence
6 - The PLU factor. Children from similar backgrounds (regardless of nationality) and supportive parents that expect the best to be provided

I did not attend such a school myself, so I notice the differences between my DD’s school and my own rather starkly and find it interesting .

Any other parents observe the above or see other things I have missed?

...

Hardly secrets are they? Money talks and all that…

PLU is such a hideously divisive phrase. Surely if nothing else the pandemic has taught us that EVERYONE is "PLU". I've never met any parent, however poor, who doesn't want the best for their kids.

I guess I'm not allowed to say

Only taking very clever kids in the first place
Weeding out any not making the grade on a regular basis
Charging eye watering fees such that supa doopa facilities can be afforded and getting donations etc on top
Knowing that parents will often pay for tutoring on top

It doesn't seem a very tough ask to get great exam results in those circumstances

But I don't have the relevant experience to answer this thread really
Not PLU you see
I know some people who went to these schools and some people whose kids go there if that counts.

None of those things are secrets …

Often overinflatimg the confidence of very ordinary types who have been treated like orchids since birth. The real world and even university can be a terrible shock.
Lack of diversity and often cultural depth except from other PLU
For as many successes I know utter failures. There again no one who inherits £££ can ever truly fail or fall through the cracks

What’s PLU?

It's not a secret, it's £££££££ that gives this.
But @CovoidOfAllHumanity gives a longer and better answer.

The “Parents Like Us” is an issue in most schools. Most people looking around a school will ask themselves the question if they or their child will fit in. It applies to middle class comprehensives and state primaries just as much in U.K. and elsewhere. I have friends from baby groups who wouldn’t send their children to our state primary because it is too posh and “seems pressured”.

My only criticism of independent school in U.K. and elsewhere is that they are not properly regulated. I think all schools should be regulated by eg Ofsted and private schools should pay for the regulation. They would then have less discretion and things like admissions, problems, expulsions would be less hush hush.

They are regulated. My children are at a public school.

My contribution is: bullying is pretty firmly crushed but it’s still really hard to get a child expelled - our school is being sued by a family over an expulsion 🙄

@InsufficientFuns- but that is my point regarding expulsion. Why should they be able to expel anyone if a state school would not be able to do so in exactly the same circumstances? Have you read the ISI guidelines? It isn’t proper regulation per se. Private schools and their headmasters have too much discretion.

@HayzCo

What’s PLU?

Parents like us, so dickheads who think they’re special enough to be better than the average person.

So I am going to add to the negative lists, if the child doesn’t fit SEN, grades not met for Sixth Form, poor behaviour, mental health problems = managed out. State sixth forms do also have grade requirements especially eg grammars but they are absolutely not allowed to discriminate based on SEN. Also look at what happened to St Olaves - a state grammar - a few years ago. Huge press attention because some boys didn’t make it into the sixth form and the headmaster applied his own discretion/policies too firmly. Yet in independent schools that it routine business.

They don’t only take very clever children. DS went to a very well known one. They absolutely expect the best from you. He started in the mid range and at the end was one of the top with some encouragement from us! Was a boarder.

Worth every penny. I didn’t have that upbringing and goodness knows where he got his academic achievement from.

Your secrets would describe my son’s (lovely but not famous) private school, not just the top 9.

The top 9 all differ from each other anyway!

PLU is ‘people like us’, not just parents (and if you’re PLU, you will have read enough Mitford to know )

Which means nice homogeneous bubbles of privilege and expectations, and lots of parental support for school and the general idea that you give your all, be it academic or extra curricular
And a high chance of bumping into classmates at restaurants, hotels and events during holidays

The alumni networks are also very powerful, as old boys and girls are encouraged to continue to stay involved and provide a foot in the door to current pupils and recent leavers for no other reason than sharing an Alma mater years apart
But it makes it incredibly easy to get work experience, an internship (formal
Or informal) or just lots of advice on how to get a foot in the door of a competitive industry

But back to the PLU aspect, birds of a feather flock together, which is why even the total abolition of private education wouldn’t dismantle a lot of the advantages gained through independent schools - they would still find each other

No amount of resources or facilities will make you a better teacher. Good teaching is a dialogue in the classroom, guiding a student to understanding with questions (yours and theirs), modelling and explanation. Your classroom could be in a portacabin and you could be a better teacher than someone drowning in "resources".
Time can improve teaching. Time to think about what you are going to say and do. I teach at an independent, not too far from a public school. They want their pound of flesh from staff, just like everybody else.

Good teachers can be found everywhere.

I went to public school and loved it. It isn't top 10 but in top 30 or so. Academia wasn't everything, the facilities were fantastic so there was something for every pupil. They offered so many sports, the food was amazing, on-site doctors and councillors, pastoral care, one on one mentoring and tutoring etc. If you were struggling in anyway it was noticed and rectified. My boarding house was like a family and during my difficult teenage years the support and fun I had from living with friends was a real life line. I will move heaven and earth to give my children the same as what I had.

1. Park like Grounds - being surrounded by green space is calming.
2. Opportunities for sport, art and music with positive peer pressure to succeed to a high standard.
3. A callas ‘drop and run’ attitude from the parents of a lot of boarders. It not PLU it’s PDC (parent’s don’t care). Neglect is not confined to any social class but it is definitely able to be masked and even ‘supported’ through culture.
4. Students with additional needs - asked to leave.
5. Older boarders - a lot of sex between teenagers.

It has its pros and it’s cons and I am not so sure the secrets are so secret anymore as more people are being able to access a private school education for their children. Plus they need the money!

Public School definition, from Wiki.

Most independent schools are not Public Schools.

The trouble with educating your children with PLU (hideous phrase) is that they may well struggle know how to relate to others who come from different backgrounds. This is such a disadvantage in modern life. Although we do still seem to manage to fill our parliament with the over inflated egos of the more idiotic from top public schools. People with no idea of the reality of life for the majority of the population they govern.

@AtlasPine

The trouble with educating your children with PLU (hideous phrase) is that they may well struggle know how to relate to others who come from different backgrounds. This is such a disadvantage in modern life. Although we do still seem to manage to fill our parliament with the over inflated egos of the more idiotic from top public schools. People with no idea of the reality of life for the majority of the population they govern.

Quite, and look where that has left us.

I don’t think these are secrets, as pp have mentioned.
But I do think that if you haven’t moved in these circles before then witnessing the extraordinary privileges delivered by these schools is eye opening. The kids who are having a good time there (won’t be all of them) are lucky indeed.

I can only talk about what I know there are different qualities of private school

1. Very expensive fees and parents paying them (even if they have a bursary or scholarship) are all over the students and email response to teacher incredible supportive of their role and what they can do to help
2. Fantastic teaching in class sizes of 12-15 tops and these teachers know they stuff
3. Pupil underperforming parents will be a tutor or tell the situation to go to the extra help offered
4. State of the art facilities eg every student has an iPad most have a top of the range laptop - and I mean top of the range
5. Schools are 6 days a week, not 5. Saturday school here is sports -
6. Students must attend clubs minimum of 3 and there are hundreds from learning about making Italian pasta to a spider robotics club
7. Small number of tutees per staff and these check in regularly with tutors for private 1-2-1
8. Immediate access to a counsellor provided by the school 24-7
9. A supportive culture - access to learning Sen is extremely well catered for but you pay for it eg fees 30 K say and you son is dyslexia and you pay an extra 10 K on top for 1-2-1 support and enhanced learning - SEN is not free

10. Every child is mentored by a parent, academic and encouraged to follow their dreams - you want to be an Astro physicist a professor at the local city university is mentoring you - it encourages connections constantly building a network

Hmmm, I went to one of the ‘top 9’ - I was bullied terribly (as were others), the pastoral care unbelievably bad and, though there were some great teachers, the education really not great….have stuck with a day independent for our own kids. Obviously I’m sure things will have changed but my parents thought they were getting what the OP describes….they are horrified now that we’ve told them the truth and they feel thoroughly fleeced!!