If your DC are in private school..

[OhMyDearMrBennett]

Would you call yourselves as
A. Pay fees without even thinking
B. Some sacrifices but still pretty decent standard
C. Everything goes into fees

We have been thinking with moving DC (yr5) over for a while. We have not been happy with the current primary for a few years, and our original plan was to move at 11
However given all the uncertainty with provision for september we are thinking move or get on the waiting list for a space now. I am just worried about her / us fitting in. We have a fairly big but dilapidated house which we are slowly doing up, average car, DH works FT and I am PT. Holidays we have never been one for exotic holidays anyway but enjoy camping,occasionally drive over to france. No designer clothes or bags. DD loves her drama and swimming we would still be able to afford for her to do this. Dc2 we would want to start in a few years time which would then entail me moving to FT for a few years whilst we are paying 2 sets off fees but I'm happy to do this.
Are we fairly average or will us and DC stick out like sore thumbs? School we are thinking of is Eltham College if that makes any difference.

Very mixed. I went back to work (state school teacher) in order to pay school fees and am by no means the only working mum, in fact most work full time before and after school clubs are packed ! I will work FT when we start DD. Real mix of cars at pick up but we had that at DS old primary in a fairly affluent area anyway. I would say there was a higher proportion of SAHM who spent lots of time shopping/ lunching / at the gym at his old school! DS knows that some of the mega expensive trips will not be possible but he's not phased by that and again, I can't imagine we will be the only ones.

B
About 1/2-2/3 at our school would be B, handful C and rest A.

Started off at A but we now have 3 in private so leaning towards B. There are more cliques I would say in the prep however in senior we are all pretty normal, no assholes and all we want is our DC to do well.

You said DD?
Eltham is single sex boys until Y7
I’d say that was your biggest hurdle

Eltham juniors is accepting girls in Y3 from this September.

My DC go to a state school in a nice area and we dont seem to fit the mould there either (as in nearly all their friends go on multiple foreign holidays per year, and seem to have massively more disposable income than we do! )

We are firmly A and grateful for it. At my DC’s school, there is a broad mix and it is all the better for it.

You will most likely fit in perfectly well (assuming you dont choose a really snobby school of which I've only ever seen one which was horrendous and ran a mile).
No designer handbags?at our school, no uniforms and kids almost all wear primark, ordinary cars, no posh houses that I can think of, a couple of people go on the odd fancy holiday but the majority seem to go to Scotland or in their camper Van's.
You doubd perfectly nice and normal. I wouldnt worry about it. You'll be able to tell from the school what it's like, and if you lurk at home time you'll see what the mums and kids are all like together to get an idea of all their interactions and how you think you'll feel.

Couple of pp's saying people are pulling their DC's out. Quite possibly so, but DH has three colleagues who are putting their children into private school because of the terrible support they have had during Covid. They are all "middle" manager types, so not hugely wealthy at all, just wanting something a bit better for their DC's, they will all be mid starters too, a year 5, a year 9 etc.

Sorry to derail but that’s interesting about G(P)DST, I went to one. It’s taken this bout of helping dcs with maths for me to realise that I am perfectly good at maths despite ‘only’ getting a B 25 years ago! I’ve always felt a bit of a fraud at work but now thinking I could go for promotion, trying to look at people around me and assess if they are actually more competent or if it’s my perception of them as more competent that’s made me never even consider being a bit ambitious. Bit of a revelation - only had it last week!

The COVID offering in our top state has been similar to the indie we are in. Very very fortunate

Feelingnotsospecial very fortunate but if you have a top state on your door step I am assuming you spent your money on housing instead of education. The top state near me has properties around it selling for around 1 million and above.... so once again folks with money get access to the best education-

Between B and C.

Fair enough sunflower. mortgage instead of indie fees, but house prices should go up (maybe).

@OhMyDearMrBennett
we had similar concerns when enrolling to a very prestigious SW London private school. This was 3 years ago. Never! had an issue.
Relax

The weirdest experiences were:

• "Oh darling, you should come with us to Milano for the opera season!"
• "You know how much of a hassle it is to buy a house in the Bahamas?"

But neither were offensive, just they live in a totally diff world. And these 2 happened in 3 years and no other examples :)
Most of the parents are normal and friendly. And apart from the odd kid running around in a rolex, vast majority are nice, down to earth kids.