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Education

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Original poster

DD not happy at a Private Boarding School

93 replies

masi2 · 06/03/2019 21:08

Good evening all. I am kind of lost and need help. My DD is at a weekly boarding school, because of work commitments that was the best l could do for her to have a better education without any disruptions. The problem now is the school is highly rated but l don't think they are aware that some children are overlooked. I have raised my concerns before, according to my DD l made it worse for her. I'm sure some people will be asking ”why can't you move her? It's complicated. If she hurts herself or something she needs an adult to look at. She has to wait until she can speak to me because she feels she can't open up to anyone she feels they think she is just seeking attention. A member of stuff called her an idiot a few days ago. Surely that can't be right. She is 10 by the way.

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:

LovingLola · 06/03/2019 21:14

if you can’t or won’t move her she’ll just have to suck it up. Just have yourself prepared to deal with the fallout when she is a teenager. And as an adult she’ll just have to cope with the emotional damage you are inflicting on her.
But hey, it’s complicated 🙄

LovingLola · 06/03/2019 21:16

Mind you I’m inclined to think this is all make-believe

PCohle · 06/03/2019 21:16

Are you saying your 10 year old is so unhappy at boarding school that she is self-harming? Or do you just mean she would need supervision after school?

However complicated it is, I think you need to remove her from the school and sort something else out - even if that means reducing your work commitments.

PersonaNonGarter · 06/03/2019 21:17

Well, you have already concluded that you are not going to do anything.

10 is very young. Is the school close enough that it can be day school?

Parents of day pupils (that is MOST parents) are not very convinced that anyone has to have their child in boarding school...

YetAnotherThing · 06/03/2019 21:18

Do you think you are hearing the true picture? I am surprised to hear teachers calling kids idiots. Maybe taken out of context or misheard etc?

Orchidflower1 · 06/03/2019 21:19

Unless you’re overseas could you make other arrangements - nanny ?

Strawberrypancakes · 06/03/2019 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

masi2 · 06/03/2019 21:28

Thank you for your replies. Yes, it's for real. When l say hurt sorry didn't mean self-harm. I meant if she falls or hurt her arm or leg during sports or something like that. Or when not feeling well. About name calling. I find it hard to believe that member of stuff can use such kind of language as well.

OP posts:

LovingLola · 06/03/2019 21:29

So what are you going to do?

Iggly · 06/03/2019 21:30

She’s only 10? Primary school?

Why couldn’t you get a nanny? Or change jobs?

I would! Prioritise your child, take her out of school.

CoperCabana · 06/03/2019 21:31

Take her out. Change your work. This is someone’s life you are messing with. Most importantly it is your daughter’s life. I think you know the answer so what are you going to do?

Loseitandkeepitlost · 06/03/2019 21:32

Complicated it may be but you need an alternative. If you don't help her it will damage your relationship.

PCohle · 06/03/2019 21:32

Send her to state school and use the money you were using to pay private school fees to pay a nanny.

PoloMama · 06/03/2019 21:33

10 is very young to board. IMO too young but there are plenty of prep schools out there that do offer boarding (and some that insist on weekly boarding from Year 7...) You surely have another good school close to you. Can you not move her to a day school and employ a nanny if your work commitments mean you are out of the house early and back late? Your daughter may decide she wants to board again when she is older - but not if she continues to have such a terrible run of it now!

sue51 · 06/03/2019 21:33

A live in nanny might be a better option if you feel she needs more attention. I would be very surprised if a member of the school staff called her an idiot, but I would bring up any concern with the school.

Pommes · 06/03/2019 21:36

Move her to the local comprehensive, use the savings for a live in nanny?

adaline · 06/03/2019 21:36

There's no reason for a 10yo to be at boarding school when they're clearly not happy there.

Babymamamama · 06/03/2019 21:37

I'm not sure what help you are asking for in your post? What is your question? I would ask you... Are you prepared to have her home if this continues. She seems too young to be coping with being hurt and not able to turn to any adult except you over the phone.

ballsdeep · 06/03/2019 21:39

God love her.
Bring her home ffs. She is upset and hates living there. She is your daughter with one childhood. Don't make her spend it in a place she hates

Ginger1982 · 06/03/2019 21:42

You sent your ten year old to boarding school??? Unbelievable. You know it's not Mallory Towers right?

Believability · 06/03/2019 21:43

I’m not anti boarding schools at all, I think my kids would love it but they’re teens. She’s 10, she needs to be at home with her mummy. If you’re working then a full time live in nanny is a better option.

Bayleyf · 06/03/2019 21:45

Obviously, obviously, bring her home.

I loved my boarding school, but I went years older than your DD.

And I was secure in the knowledge that if I was unhappy, my mum would help make things better. Your daughter doesn't have that, which is sad.

Original poster

masi2 · 06/03/2019 21:50

Thank you once again. So important detail l missed. I'm in the Army l work away most of the time. I'm not loaded the Army contributes towards the fees because of moving every 2 or 3 years. To take her out of school is not that simple. I have to go through a process and l can't just reduce my hours. Sorry, l should have tried to make myself a bit more clear.

OP posts:

LovingLola · 06/03/2019 21:53

So that’s it then. She’s fucked.
Unless you decide that she is more important.

FurrySlipperBoots · 06/03/2019 21:54

Where's her dad? If you already know she'll just have to stay there what's the point of the thread?

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