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Original poster

What to do? Boarding school or being dragged round the world being educated as well as possible?

106 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/05/2007 21:46

Which would you go for, the stability of boarding school and continuity of friends (assuming the DDs are happy to board) or drag them round the world with you, changing school every 3-4 years, either international school or possibly American system?

OP posts:
hoxtonchick · 14/05/2007 21:47

take 'em with you. what an adventure for them .

Aloha · 14/05/2007 21:47

I'd keep them with me and show them the world. I would never put my children in boarding school and leave the country.

luciemule · 14/05/2007 21:48

take them - being with your family is more important and you can still make good friends and keep them for life.

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 14/05/2007 21:52

I am inclined to think "what an adventure/experience for them" as well, although DD1 did not cope well with leaving her friends behind in Belgium, and I'm not sure how she will cope with making a new set of friends every 3-4 years. She does not make friends easily, being slightly quirky, unlike DD2 who is a little friend of all the world and would be happy anywhere.

OP posts:
Rantum · 14/05/2007 21:53

Personally having been dragged around a bit myself, I would probably have preferred the continuity of boarding school at secondary school, but I had to go to the local schools whenever I moved so the systems were all different so I had little continuity of education (never mind the friends - {insert awwww poor rantum emoticon here}).

DH went to boarding school while his parents moved (he was 16 and didn't want to move - already at the school as a day student).

His sister was younger and didn't want to board - she went international school route and it seemed to suit her because she was at school with lots of children with similar non-static upbringings.

Sorry not much help - just my thoughts...

Original poster
MrsSchadenfreude · 14/05/2007 21:58

Rantum, no, that's helpful. I asked a friend of mine who went to boarding school if she enjoyed it, and she said she did "eventually" but her brother hated it and cried every holiday, up to the age of 18, because he didn't want to go back to school.

OP posts:
MuminBrum · 14/05/2007 22:10

Going with you and experiencing international schools, definitely. We were expats for a bit and my parents took the three of us with them - we felt so sorry for the "exbrats" who used to appear every holidays and then be frogmarched back to their dreary boarding schools while we carried on living at home and going to wonderful schools full of (at least some!) interesting students and staff from all over the world.

Gobbledigook · 14/05/2007 22:11

Ditto Aloha.

moondog · 14/05/2007 22:12

We always lived abroad as kids but went to boarding school at 11 as lived in places with no international schools.
On balance,preferable to have the kids with you i think.

WideWebWitch · 14/05/2007 22:12

Drag them round the world. But only if I really had to. Can't you stay somewhere?

Spidermama · 14/05/2007 22:13

I'd take them with me. Every time.
Friends come into their own in later life. Kids need parents.

lucy5 · 14/05/2007 22:14

International schools have a rather transient community, well my dd's has. I think I would rather get used to that than get used to being away from me. I was a day girl at a boarding school and some kids love it, some kids hate it. Sorry not being very helpful, i think it depends on the personality of the child.

tangarine · 14/05/2007 22:14

I think it depends on their ages, where you are going and what kind of child they are.

Both my DS's were born during overseas postings. DS1 went into the American system when we were last overseas (in a small Asian country) and came home a school year behind - he was only 5 going on 6 so it didn't really matter and he caught up quickly - though we did have to do lots of extra reading/spelling etc through year 1 and some of year 2. He wasn't old enough to be embarassed that he didn't know all his letters/sounds/could not write his name etc. DS 2 is now in reception and is streets ahead of where DS1 when he was in year 1, mainly because the UK system seems to want to teach them more and sooner. That may or may not be a good thing for the individual child.

DS1, who is now 10, went into boarding school last September because we know we will be going overseas again soon, though we don't yet know where. We didn't want to take a chance on getting him into a school wherever we ended up, nor did we want to just chuck him into boarding school and do a runner when the time came for us to go away. He also has some medical needs which could not be catered for in our last overseas posting and again, we did not want to take a chance. He loves his new school, has made lots of friends and loves living with his mates, playing sport everyday and being away from home. DS2 is a completely different child and may well being dragged around the world with us as I can't see him settling at boarding school (though he says he wants to go when he is 8 to be with his big brother).

DH boarded by choice from the age of 11, partly because he was an only child and partly because he wanted to be away from his parents, who by all accounts had a very unhappy marriage. He enjoyed himself hugely and is still in touch with his closest friends from that time despite all of them taking very different directions in life.

tiredemma · 14/05/2007 22:16

Hell would freeze over before I put my kids into a boarding school.

Dp went to one, it did him NO favours at all.
Infact- he can be quite a pompous twat - a skill gained at private school im sure.

expatinscotland · 14/05/2007 22:16

I got dragged along.

I'm still here!

And grateful for the experience.

Was at the time, too.

lucy5 · 14/05/2007 22:16

Sorry I am tired, I meant I would rather my dd get used to people leaving and leaving herself than for her get used to being away from me.

Hilllary · 14/05/2007 22:18

Oh take them with you, most of my family are in the army/air force etc. they all go to new posts all over the world, the children love it and get to see and learn about new places in the flesh, what better way to learn other than seeing it in a book.

foxinsocks · 14/05/2007 22:18

I got dragged along too. I also enjoyed it and got very good at going to new places and making new friends! It's quite a good skill to learn.

We only boarded right at the end and by that stage, I was old enough to enjoy it.

Wotzsaname · 14/05/2007 22:19

I moved aborad as a child and went to 7 schools before my secondary and it did me now harm!

My dad died when I was 12 so I would have missed out on so much of my childhood with him if we hadn't been together.

Also my friends dc have been to Hong Kong, South Africa , 2 years back in UK and now USA...they all love it. take them with you what an experience.

Children make friends easily, we worry too much.

Ladymuck · 14/05/2007 22:19

It really depends on the personality of the children, and what they want to do, and what sort of countries you would be travelling to. And where you are living within the countries (compound v part of city etc).
I have friends/colleagues who have done both, and these seem to be the main factors. If you are travelling to countries with decent infrastructure and schools then keep them with you. If you are going off the beaten track or into the line of danger then boarding. But if your children have an overwhelming preference to board, then listen to that.

Bear in mind that if they board you will still have them with you for at least 4 months a year.

wrinklytum · 14/05/2007 22:20

My youngest brother was moved a lot from age 8 with parents.He is the most confident and sucessful and well rounded of us so far and has had marvellous opportunities to see a lot of the world.He is currently doing a language at Uni and is about to spend a year in South America through the British Council,there are limited places and I am really proud he has been sucessful.I would give my eye teeth to have travelled as he has and I think that kids are pretty resilient.

mamazon · 14/05/2007 22:20

dragged along. they change schools every 3-4 years in some places in the Uk anyway so it wouldn't be too bad.

Blu · 14/05/2007 22:21

As a parent, I would say take them with you. As a teenager, I would have said 'boarding school' - from 13 onwards, anyway!
Is there no other choice than to keep moving?

hatwoman · 14/05/2007 22:22

I agree with others that there can't be a generalised answer. depends a lot on the kids, the timing, where you are. all sorts of thing. what's the age difference between them all? between eldest reaching 12 and the youngest getting to 18 could you really not stay put? or time it so there's only one upheaval - you did say moves might be 4 years apart.

ComeOVeneer · 14/05/2007 22:24

From the OP, my 2p's worth is boarding school. My father was in the oil industry and my parents moved countries constantly from the age of 18 months until 2 years after I was married. Initially we went to school where ever they were but at the age of 9 (until 18) I went to boarding school. It changed my life, I went to 7 schools between the age of 5 and 9 and made and lost many friends. I adored boarding school (went to 2 different ones) and have fantastic friends who are like sisters. It does depend on the school but a good one is fantastic for a child who is suited to that kind of life.