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Original poster

Fees and lack of funds

158 replies

AgathaMystery · 08/11/2017 20:56

I suppose it happens to a lot of people but we have sadly found ourselves in financial difficulties.

It's nothing dramatic - my husband is self employed and there is no work. I work part time and do extra work to make up to about 40 hours a week. I work in the NHS and whilst my salary isn't awful, it doesn't go very far. I have been working extra shifts through my annual leave recently to top up my salary.

We are nearing the end of our savings and I need to know what to do about the school fees.

The school offers very generous bursaries in the senior school but not in the prep. I moved us to monthly notice some time ago as a just-in-case measure.

We have equity in our house but I am acutely aware that that is all we have left now. I also put us on a 5yr deal 4 months ago that means no chance of a mortgage break for 2 years.

I know I need to make an appointment with the head &/or the bursar - I just need some advice please. I don't know how to get through the meeting without sobbing.

Has anyone ever been through this?

OP posts:
crazycrofter · 04/12/2017 09:12

@middleoftheroad are you on the waiting list for your nearest grammars? He would have to take a new test if a place came up after Christmas but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. From my daughter's experience at KEHS, there are always one or two every year who move from one of the grammars to the independent KE schools in year 7/8 - often, they're kids who were at prep schools and their parents decide to move them back to the independent sector. Even if the spaces come up at the 'wrong' grammars their might be a bit of a shuffle around that would create a possible space for your son.

crazycrofter · 04/12/2017 09:15

@agathamystery - we moved ours from private to state when they were in years 2 and reception. They started in the January. It was a good time to start as Christmas is busy and there's no time for them to worry about it! Starting a new place in September is harder I think. My dd who was 6 settled really quickly and never looked back.

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 04/12/2017 10:50

Of course DH can look round them but I need to see them too - I've been to all of them but only for child protection meetings or to do an assembly. I need to go as a parent.

There are no spaces available immediately so we have to wait it out. I'm paying fees until Easter anyway so there is time.

OP posts:
Original poster
AgathaMystery · 04/12/2017 10:51

I wasn't very clear in my last post. There are 2 schools who will have a space after Easter.

OP posts:
Middleoftheroad · 04/12/2017 21:05

Thanks Crazy - we are on the lists, although the thought of having to sit a test when his 11 plus actually gained him a place fills me with even more guilt.

Agatha - so if there are places at Easter how much notice do you need to give private school (sorry, think you mentioned upthread). Also, places could come up before then even though you will have paid fees.

crazycrofter · 04/12/2017 22:14

@middleoftheroad I understand the guilt but none of this is your fault. You went to the effort of moving house to get him into a good school and you only turned down the grammar because you thought it was the best decision for him and it was what he wanted. Maybe things will settle. Can he change classes?

Hersetta427 · 04/12/2017 22:30

Sorry if I misunderstood but is it the state schools that will have spaces after Easter. If so, how do the school know this already-they don't normally know more than 3months in advance. Are you first on the waiting list for a space as and when it becomes available? If not then the space is not yours to take anyway.

Fintons · 04/12/2017 22:52

Yes I'm confused too, do those 2 schools with places have no waiting list and are aware of pupils moving after Easter?

I think age 6 is actually a great time to move her OP. she is still so young so will take it in her stride more.

Fintons · 04/12/2017 22:52

I wish Bertrand & Doodle would stop pushing their anti-private schools agendas!

Doodle, that did sound suspiciously like a Daily Mail style "the migrants are taking all our school places" bit of zenophobia there! 

CappuccinoCake · 05/12/2017 11:02

Usually with schools you hear there's a place and are in within 2 weeks. I'm not sure how they will know there's spaces at Easter or even if they can offer them to you ( if someone moves into the area between now and Easter and is higher up the admissions criteria they'd be awarded the space as a preference.)

It just seems a really long time when now would be better to move

whazzy · 05/12/2017 12:00

Hi OP that is great you have found schools with space. It also seems to me that you are sensible and have come to be realisation that all this spending of money just isn't right and nor is it what your family need.

Obviously you can't afford private but you can do this and it will be a great lesson for your children in living within your means.

Just think of the relief when you no longer have this financial burden.

Most importantly state schools can be great and at primary school level you can have input and join in with the pta or visit some assemblies when the time is right.

Others have also mentioned that is money is available then you can do extra activities.

I think you need to think of this positively and I think you getting out of private will be a really positive step.

Good luck OP SmileSmileSmile

You need to secure you financial future and being sensible and embracing a good state education seem the right way about this.

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 09/12/2017 20:21

From ringing around there are 2 primary schools locally who have children leaving at Easter. Apparently we should be considered for those places. TBH I am out of my depth - the LEA have systems in place that I know nothing of. And different LEA seem to behave differently. BIL is a primary head & his LEA does it differently to ours. Speaking to people outside our LEA isn't helpful.

I expect that other children will leave between now and then and I hope the council will let me know of any other places. However the letter from the council was quite clear re: not looking at my application until January.

We will see. I just have to keep going through the process. Which seems very long.

If a place comes up at our local school I will move her ASAP. Otherwise I will hang on in the school I have to pay for until Easter!

DH has some short term work at the moment which is a godsend.

OP posts:
CappuccinoCake · 09/12/2017 20:53

The Leas shouldn't all work very differently as it's standardised. And schools gave strict admissions criteria to stop schools favouring one above the other.

The lea shpould have a policy on their website. they can't leave you without a school until Easter. There will be spaces somewhere!

Justquery · 09/12/2017 22:34

Did you speak to the school? Were they not willing to help out?

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 09/12/2017 23:04

I am not and will not be without a school. I must give one full term of notice. So I will give notice in January. This means I must pay fees until Easter. There is no getting round this. I have tried.

The school has generous bursaries and scholarships for senior girls. Nothing for prep.

I know LEA should all be the same. I can attest that they are not.

OP posts:
CappuccinoCake · 09/12/2017 23:07

I know you have to give a terms notice so you can write those fees ofd as gone but on terms of whats best for the child as you know you are leaving I thought you were looking to move asap.

It sounded like you were making out that the lea had no spaces until April which is different to you telling the lea you didn't want a space until April!

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 11/12/2017 15:38

I know you have to give a terms notice so you can write those fees ofd as gone but on terms of whats best for the child as you know you are leaving I thought you were looking to move asap. We are - there are currently no spaces.

It sounded like you were making out that the lea had no spaces until April which is different to you telling the lea you didn't want a space until April! The LEA have told me that they won't* consider my application until January for an April move.* I have replied to their letter and said that* if they will consider us for an LEA place then we will move our daughter ASAP.* It's all moot anyway as there currently are no spaces!

I am trying very hard to cover all bases. Every school seems to be over subscribed. There aren't any spaces. We currently have schooling for DC so they don't have to provide a place. Apparently.

Like I said, I'm out of my depth. And I'm trying.

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/12/2017 16:18

You could put in an application and on refusal of a place appeal. That will take you until almost Easter. I thought you had said earlier you were already on rolling notice. Not sure how seriously you can take a promise of a place in April otherwise.

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 11/12/2017 17:01

The rolling notice was a mistake. They thought I meant monthly fees, which we have always done. They don't do monthly notice. Ever.

I haven't been promised a place at Easter. Just been told 2 children are leaving.

I'm obviously not being clear:
-DC at a private school
-DH is unemployed (6m + now)
-We are running out of money
-I must pay fees until Easter
-I have submitted an in year transfer application
-They will not look at it until jan
-I have said we will move whenever if a place comes up
-2 children are leaving schools in our area at Easter
-I have heard nothing more

OP posts:
Hersetta427 · 11/12/2017 18:30

I do still find it odd that the county know that 2 kids are leaving at Easter - that is very unusual for state schools. Have they also said whether there is a waiting list for these places. Don't want you to get your hopes up only to find there are people ahead of you on the continued interest list.

user2085372673 · 11/12/2017 19:11

I know this has nothing to do with the thread but I went to a state school, then moved for 4 years for the second part of primary to a private school, and then to state from secondary upwards. I am a perfectly happy, successful adult. You haven't failed by not affording to keep your child in private education - state schools are what something like 93% of the British population do. There is no reason why your daughter can't flourish at the state school. They are wonderful and my years at the state schools were immeasurably happier than the private ones. It's much better to be in the middle than feeling like the 'poor ones.' Give yourself a break, the most important thing to your daughter is your love and support for her education.

Original poster
AgathaMystery · 11/12/2017 19:45

Hersetta that's fine that you find it odd.* I find I don't feel any way about it, because it means nothing to me.* There are over 140,000 residents in my city. I find it totally acceptable that 2 families know when they are leaving. We have had 4 sets of friends emigrate this year alone. I assume that's the situation.

They are not considering my in year application until January.* My last letter went unanswered.*

OP posts:
Original poster
AgathaMystery · 11/12/2017 19:47

And I don't have any hopes of any places at a single decent school. Honestly don't worry about me getting my hopes up. I haven't any left Wine

OP posts:
Iwantawhippet · 13/12/2017 20:58

Sounds like a tough situation. But you’re doing your best. You’ve done everything you can to keep her at the school. I’m sure she’ll be welcomed into a new school and make friends quickly.

I hope things get better for you all.

zeezies · 15/12/2017 10:40

Things will get better. They will get better.

ThanksThanksThanks

Your children will eventually get a place at a state school.

Is there anyone in your family who can help you out financially until things get a bit better and more certain?

Honestly there are lots of good state schools and often they may not have outstanding Ofsted but it won't mean that children can not thrive at them.

I am sorry about your the unemployment of your husband.

I hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas.

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