Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

[indignatio]

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

To go slightly off at a tangent (though relevant here), has anyone had any experience of Kumon programmes? We have just received a very lengthy report from a private ed psych who recommends DS follow it. They also recommend a reading recovery intervention '4 minute reading programme'. Are these just more money spinners or would this genuinely help my DS (who is only just 5 btw and in reception!!)? I feel so blown away and stressed out by the whole thing. Thanks.

Thanks everyone. I think they use number lines at school as well but I havent done them at home. The thing is , in my view he likes using the counters at home. I have been trying to get him to do it without them because i think they would be expected to know all adds and take aways within 10 at the end of year 1. He can do some in his head and by rote but for the take aways he usually asks for the counters and actually does them fairly quickly at home when he uses them although can lose track of where he is on the page. Seems to be worse at school when faced with a page of them. Maybe I will try the number line. I think I need to build up his confidence when it comes to Maths and get him to practice using some visual tool as he is getting a bit frustrated.He can actually do them on a practical level even without counters. For example if I say how many sweets would you like and he says 8. I say well I think 5 wuld be enough and he argues and i say well how many more would you need then he would say 3. But if I said 8-5 or whats 5+3, without a visual tool or the prospect of imminent sweets he would struggle.

Hallgerda , sometimes i wonder about what you have said. Its a pretty relaxed school (although very good results) and I wonder if he feels that there isnt a need to listen sometimes. However I am sure hes not alone in that respect and Dt2's attention issues do seem worse than others.

Forgot to say he is very long sighted and wears glasses all the time. At the end of the teachers report to the ep when asked about any other issues, she had written "DT2 has very poor eyesight" and I just felt so sad for him. However his sight is fine with glasses and I dont believe it should impact. Anyone had any similiar issues there?
Ah well am off to rescue him from his Nintendo DS. No problems concentrating there !

Castlesintheair, I'm taking DS1 (8) to a Kumon assessment this weekend.

There have been some threads on it on Mnet if you do a search. Opinions seem to vary between "Really helped my child with confidence/speed" etc and "Boring rote worksheets that sapped my child's interest". Since DS1 has no interest in maths, I don't think we can sap it much further.

castlesintheair, I haven't tried Kumon, but I have done a fair bit of tedious repetition of basic arithmetic at home (just making up my own sums) and I think that has helped DS3. For one thing, it has helped me to impress on him that accuracy really does matter, and, for another, he's pretty strong on basic arithmetic these days.

But then if I hadn't done that, maybe his school would be less worried about his "uneven profile". You can't win...

I've never heard of the 4 minute reading programme, so can't help you there.

Hippipotami - just looked through this thread and was amazed to find your discription of your son, it really could have been my son you were talking about, apart from the fact that his is aged 9.

Blink - would you mind me asking, is the central London school your child goes to private or state?

Thanks Hallgerda & singersgirl. I also spoke to DS's teacher about these programmes and she thinks they are quite inappropriate for a (just) 5 year old. Me too! Especially as his reading and maths are fine. It's his understanding/concentration that is the issue at the moment. I feel like the poor boy will have some sort of breakdown if he has to undergo all this extra "tuition" right now, which is why I was flapping! Apparently Kumon is good if they are a rote learner singersgirl. Will take a look at some of the past threads on the subject when I can muster the energy

castlesintheair- if you dont mind me asking how did your weschler test go. I think its some sort of intelligence test? I worry that my Dt2's lack of concentration is a combination of lack of understanding as well as a lack of listening although I think its more of a listening thing as he seems to always hear and concentrate when he wants to. I worry about a lack of understanding problem because I suppose I find it hard to work out how he could be clever and not understand if that makes sense. The teacher is unsure as to the cause of his problem and consequently unsure as to whether he really is more clever than his work at school suggests because he has difficult concentrating. Maybe this makes no sense at all? Your Ds sounds lovely btw, rather like mine in a lot of ways.

(thankyou indignatio)

I have tried Kumon with my dd. They only do Kumon maths, not English in this area. I do think it has helped, although she is still one of the weakest mathematicians in her year! Her problem really is concentration though. If I don't sit with her, nothing gets done. Obviously she doesn't have anyone sitting with her all day at school, so often nothing gets done there.

Maggiems, my concerns were exactly like yours especially "I find it hard to work out how he could be clever and not understand if that makes sense." That makes perfect sense & is exactly my DS (and maybe why it's taken so long to come to any conclusions about him). The Weschler test is pretty awful if you ask me, mostly because it takes 3 hours. Can you imagine our dreamy DCs being able to concentrate for that long? I find it hard enough!!!! It is a psychometric test covering all academic areas. In my DS's case it highlighted a high IQ but poor understanding which for us is ammo for statementing. Poor understanding for him literally means processing language. I re-read the report last night and his "above average" scores were not surprisingly all from the first hour of the test before he got really bored and started to lose interest ... and "got down from the table, lay down and pretended to go to sleep" I wouldn't recommend it at this stage unless you are going down the statementing route and even then it's probably not necessary. Personally I'd start with a visit to a developmental paed (as we did) and see what they say.

babygrand, we might go down the Kumon road in a few years if it's necessary. How old is your DD?

She's 8. Things have been pretty bad at school for a couple of years now, and I feel it's time to take action!

castlesintheair- Thanks for the info. Very interesting. Dt1 couldnt survive that test never mind Dt2. It sounds terrible.Not quite sure on the processing thing at all. I have looked into Auditory processing disorder and speciific language impairment ( not really sure what the difference is) and not that much seems to apply to Dt2 apart from the bits about having difficulty in following instructions at school and i suppose low academic performance. He has this great way sometimes when I sit him down to explain how to do something (academic) of switching off before I start and i have to work hard to get him on task so I can imagine its like that at school only worse Of course if its about power rangers then i have his immediate attention. He was not slow to speak (although not really early but was talking in 2 word combinations at 2 etc )and he seemed to do things like colours, numbers, letters etc earlier than expected . I suppose the condition that he is more likely to have than anything else is ADD but I just dont know. I am still living in hope that he will grow out of it but am not convinved. I am on the waiting list for the paed but its going to be May or June before I get an appt

Hope it's OK to go off at a tangent - I need some advice. DS1 left his school today and will start at his new school after Easter. Would you go straight in there, make an appointment with the SENCO and class teacher and discuss the areas in which he has problems? Or would you wait a few weeks until they've had time to assess him?

My initial instinct was to go with the second option but he has rugby and swimming in his first week and I'd like them to be aware in advance that he'll have difficulties (and be worried about) the running. catching, tackling, undressing and drying himself stuff. To say nothing of listening to instructions in a big group on a windy playing field / echoing swimming pool!

I wrote on his application form that he has dyspraxic traits but no dx. There wasn't enough space to write much and I didn't want them to pre-judge him.

What would you wise women do?

How about doing both, warn the teacher on the first day - by letter if it is not going to be convenient to speak to him/her about his worries with regard to sports and ask for a meeting a couple of weeks thereafter to discuss him after they have had chance to get to know him.

That's a good idea - thanks Indignatio.

When my ds started in reception I took him in the day before term started (having arranged this with school & the class teacher) so that the teacher could meet me, really, as well as ds ... just for 20 minutes.

I think on the day she may have thought hmm I wonder whether all this is necessary (= "anxious mum alert") but when there started being difficulties it meant that we'd already a bit of a rapport. Which is invaluable.

oh - isgrassgreener - sorry, I missed your question. ds's school is a private one. I mentioned it really because I saw q7 was already using an independent school.

There is such a gap in state school provision - in our borough, & the next door one, the options are (a) dedicated special school, which ds would not be anywhere near; and (b) mainstream with 1-to-1 support. If ds had 1-to-1 support, he would be completely & utterly fine in school - save that he wouldn't be learning the crucial thing he needs to learn, which is to be a child among children without adult mediation. So 1-to-1 for him is wrong. What he needs is to be with other children with his sort of difficulties, with access to children without them too - in short, to be in an attached "language unit" or similar - and they just don't do them here. Hence the private school, which is the nearest thing we could find to that.

(By the way, I'm Q7, but I can't be bothered to change my name back for this!)

In my experience there's a huge difference between special needs help at different schools, and actually independent schools are often much worse. At my dd's school, although there is a special needs teacher, no one seems to have IEPs and she doesn't even see my child. She just helps a few children who are behind with their spelling, as far as I can see.

In the school where I used to work, a state school, there's a huge SEN department which is fabulous (we don't live close enough to get DD in here, before anyone suggests that).

Obviously the independent school can offer small classes, which might help a 'dreamy' child, but often they don't have the expertise or knowledge to help a child who doesn't fit into their boxes. It boils down to the commitment and sympathy of individual teachers really. In my own dd's case, she's not getting what she needs, but what to do next is the problem...

Sphil, I did what Bink did when DS started school. Went in before end of summer term with him and I think his teacher thought "what is this neurotic woman banging on about". But then when his problems became obvious during the 1st term I wasn't made to feel a complete twonk for not mentioning them. Good luck with the new school and the move West. My DM lives near Street so I know the area quite well (grew up there in fact) and it's lovely.

I was told by a friend that DS won't get into a private school with his understanding problems. Is this true?

Thanks everyone
DS1 has already been for a morning at his new school and I had a phone call with his teacher previous to that where I mentioned our concerns briefly. So I think I may write a letter just explaining about the potential swimming/rugby difficulties. Have an excuse because he got his Level 1 ASA assessment today - didn't pass for the second term running but now only has two elements to pass instead of five, so there's progress! So I can put that in so they can see where he is in swimming.

Am glad to hear Street is lovely - it's our last night in Lewes tonight and I am having extremely cold feet about leaving!

Good luck with your move Sphil. Good news on DS1's progress. I hope both Ds1 and 2 will be happy in their new schools

Thanks Maggiems.

Good luck with the move Sphil

DH has just gone down with d and v bug so move delayed 24 hrs . Just hope the rest of us don't get it.

DS1 is pretty obsessed with germs btw - anyone else have experience of this?