Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

[indignatio]

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages


dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.


Not sure what else I should put in.

[Hallgerda]

I've really glad to hear the meeting went well, indignatio

[hippipotami]

indignatio - sounds like you have a good school!
glad to hear it went well.

[singersgirl]

I'm glad things went well for you, and positive things are happening, Indignatio.

If I ever walk past DS1's classroom, his is the only coat/bag/lunchbox on the floor - all the others are hanging on the pegs where they are supposed to be.

DS1 has a wonderful imagination and is always writing books, adverts, documents on the Roman army. His reading and spelling are well above average, but he is very careless, so often misspells when he's in a hurry. And - a source of particular frustration to me at the moment - he still randomly puts capital letters in the middle of sentences.

Someone asked whether things had got more obvious as he has got older - I think it peaked in Y1 and 2 for me, when most other children were noticeably settling down. DS1 does concentrate more now, and can, for example, get dressed without hundreds of reminders. In Y2 his maths book was just full of "I'm sure you could have done more" or "A good start, but where's the rest?"

Interestingly, Sphil, DS2, who is Y1 and generally gives me less cause for concern, also only finishes work when the teacher is on his table. He is also 'thinking about things'. He told us recently he wanted to be a space scientist when he grew up, so DH said, "You'll have to finish all your work at school if you want to do that". DS2 thought for a split second and then said, "Well, just an ordinary scientist, then."

[indignatio]

Thank you sphil,singersgirl, Hallgerda and Hippi.

Sphil - ds was sitting round the table with 5 others and his teacher yesterday supposed to be talking about dragons. All the others were joining in by ds was quiet. Teacher asks ds what he is thinking about - reply lunch - teacher says you are supposed to be thinking about dragons. ds replies but I can't think about dragons, I am thinking about lunch. Teacher makes comment re no lunch until dragon discussion has taken place. ds discusses dragons. I think his teacher maybe learning to get more from ds !!

Singersgirl - when did it start to concern you that you child's coat was the only one on the floor? I ask because ds's coat would also be the only one on the floor but (as yet) this does not seem to worry me

Brain fried is a wonderful description. I do think that mental and physical tiredness are very different.

Bink - I'm very interested in the "executive function" problems - do you have a website you can recommend for reading up more about this ?

[indignatio]

Another thought - As most of us have confessed to being "bright parents", do we expect more of our dcs based on how we were at school ?
Self confessed girly swot here !

[Bink]

indignatio - I don't know of websites, I'm afraid, though I think I remember from googling ages ago that there is a school in Texas which is specifically for executive function difficulties - it may have info on its website. Can't remember name of school - really helpful, no??

Term was used by current school's ed psych, who impressed us. She is due to have some further sessions with ds, so she may give us reading material which I can recommend on.

[Bink]

Actually I just did some searching - and this link looks full of ideas. It's on a site about Tourette's, which I wouldn't normally look at - perhaps Tourette's sometimes comes with executive function problems.

[castlesintheair]

Sound's like you've got a great school there Indignatio. And how lucky they are to have your DS there too. Re your question on bright parents = high expectations - I definitely think it's the case with DH. He still expects DS to be his match. Unfortunately his language difficulties at the moment are holding him back and of course, he could just take after his pretty average mother! Unfortunately he has inherited his father's scattiness. DH describes it as always getting into a pickle at school. I can already see it with DS when he comes out at the end of the day clutching too many things, not being able to manage and dropping the lot and all the other mothers sigh at how sweet he is. And yes, his coat is always on the floor and he has already lost half his clothes ...

[hippipotami]

I was a girly swot!! I was the tubby one, with the bad dress sense, who was always either reading or day dreaming.

I did however love school, loved learning and excelled at school/college etc.
Even now I am considering taking another course, gaining another qualification because I love learning.

DH on the other hand left school with 3 O levels in history, science and woodwork!! He is very bright and has lots of vocational qualifications, and works as an engineer, but he is not good with the written word. That may be the source of dss' problems...

[sphil]

What great messages - will come back later and read them properly. I have some stuff on executive function which I'm quite willing to send anyone who wants it - will come back later - bath time already overdue...

[singersgirl]

Definitely had expectations of my children's abilities, based on our experiences and education etc. DS1 seemed a very bright toddler and preschooler; this was widely commented on, even at 2 and 3 year check ups, and at nursery school, where they still remembered him 3 years later and talked about how bright he was. He is doing OK at school, but not as well as you'd expect from that by any means. He has just told me his writing assessment grade for mid-year is the same as it was at the end of Y3, which means he has effectively made no progress in 2 terms.

The coat thing started to bother me last year (Y3). In DS2's Y1 class there is quite a strewage of bags and coats on the benches and the floor, but in DS1's class it's just his stuff.

Also, though we have some 'issues' with DS2 at the moment, his starting school has thrown into relief how different DS1 is.

[sphil]

Castlesintheair - we're moving to Somerset - initially to a village near Taunton (staying with my parents) until we find a house in or around Street. DS1's younger brother has ASD and we've found a special school next door to a m/s primary, with lots of liaison between the two. I think the m/s will be good for DS1 - they have a language unit on site so are very clued up - and also have outstanding OFSTED. I am hoping they'll be like Indignatio's school!

The executive function issue is very interesting. I first found out about it on a course run by 'Growing Minds', a US based clinic who run therapeutic programmes for children with ASD. (We are about to start a 6 month distance training programme with them for DS2.) I have some notes which I'm happy to copy and send to people if they want - CAT me with your details. The notes are based on autistic children but are still interesting - can definitely see things in there that are relevant to DS1.

Having typed that last paragraph I've just skimmed through the site recommended by Bink and it is FAR more detailed. Have bookmarked it - really interesting and useful.

And yes - I think the parental (OK my) expectations thing is hugely important. I really struggle with the fact that DS1 is so different from the way I was at school, yet we are so similar in other ways. I WANT him to love learning and take a pride in his work (and I hate to admit, I'm inordinately proud when he does achieve well). Luckily DH is much more laid back.

Lastly, I made a 'bargain' with DS1 last night. He will put his hand up once today to answer a question and I'll give him a treat (tiny choc rabbit) when he gets home. It worked - he announced it solemnly to his teacher this morning and she reported back to me this afternoon that he'd done it. Tonight he told me he's decided he's going to put his hand up twice every day until the end of term and four times on the last day (which will be his last day at this school).

[filthymindedvixen]

Big sigh. Jus come from IEP meeting. Am I allowed to feel aggreived that this was conducted with just me and ds's teachers - SENCO (who is headteachers) NOT present, nor was DS (who it concenrs after all)
...they told me about some new phonics scheme starting after Easter which they hope will help DS's spelling and handwriting.

Then they confessed they knew nothing about it as the teaching assistants were getting the training and would be doing it with ds.

[sphil]

That's not good - how will they be able to coordinate what he's learning with the TAs with what they're doing in the classroom? You have my sympathies - although I'm generally pleased with DS1's current school, IEP meetings have left a lot to be desired...

[chipmonkey]

Haven't read all posts and haven't really time to post in detail now, but Indigatio's ds sounds exactly like my ds1 aged 10.

[indignatio]

Big hug FMV

Not sure I can be of any practical help but just know that we are here with empathy and that someone maybe along in a mo with some words of wisdom

[castlesintheair]

Sympathies fmv, I am up against a constant wall of red tape. DS desperately needs speech therapy but speech therapist report doesn't recommend it so he won't get it and we have to go privately if we can find someone. Then there's all the logistical boll***s involved. The "system" is driving me mad and I have days when I think I should home educate but not sure I'd be any good at it. Has anyone done this or had any thoughts? Grr! Sorry, having a bad day!

[q7]

Have been giving all of this a lot of thought over the last few days (when don't I?).

It has only just dawned on me really that we're all discussing symptoms of dyspraxia. I know some of you mentioned that your dcs are diagnosed dyspraxic, but I've never really considered that before. It would actually be a relief to have a 'reason' for how dd is. How would I go about getting a diagnosis? Does it have to be a GP?

[castlesintheair]

q7, I think (this is what I have done anyway) you have to see a developmental paed to get a diagnosis. You can be referred to an nhs one by your GP or see one privately, which we did.

[indignatio]

q7 - whilst a lot of ds' traits are dyspraxic, I still don't think my ds fits enough of the indicators to be dyspraxic. I consider that he fits more of the ADD traits - but again I don't actually think he is ADD. Also he fits a lot of Bink's gifted traits list (and whilst I think he is gifted, I am aware that I am exceptionally biased and it is not something which has ever been raised by school).
Personally I think a lot of the children discussed on here don't fit into a nice neat dx but are square pegs being made to fit into round holes

Sorry for twittering on - guess I haven't yet got my head around the labels issue - My failing I suppose.

[filthymindedvixen]

exactly agrree with Indignatio!

The two or three 'symptons' of dyspraxia which fit my son are also classic dyslexiua symptoms...

[sphil]

Agree too - DS1 has a few traits of each of the following:
dyspraxia, Aspergers, auditory processing disorder, semantic pragmatic disorder and ADD! He's on the SEN and the G&T register at school. But I don't think he has enough of a collection of features to fit any label neatly. Except quirky

[Bink]

The overlapping/not-quite-enough features is us as well - we've been told that explicitly, in fact - as in that's why ds doesn't (yet - or maybe won't ever, who knows) have a diagnosis, as he sits too right in the intersection of all these things.

I hope I'm right in saying that another thing all our children share is not having particular aggression/violence problems? - that's always been the difference that, for me, means I can't (& don't) claim the same level of "need" for ds as for other children where anger/aggression is a feature. It seems like a very salient difference to me.

[sphil]

A less aggressive boy than DS1 is hard to imagine! Mind you, his brother, who is autistic, has no aggression/temper/violence issues either. I feel as if I ought to say 'yet' to be superstitious, but I really can't see it.

[singersgirl]

DS1 has (to my mind) dyspraxic/ADHD/'bright' traits. But he is seemingly sub-clinical - ie he's doing well enough for the school not to think there's a significant problem (though that there is a problem), but for me to think that perhaps there's a lot of compensation going on. I think he does as well as he does because he's a bright boy, and if he were less bright, the school would see his 'disabilities' (perhaps too strong a word) more clearly.

Clear as mud? That's the Shiraz talking.