Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

[indignatio]

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

Sphil I think there is a link between early antibiotic use and nutritional deficiencies which can cause certain behaviours including dreaminess. I've studied nutritional therapy and as I'm sure you all know there are lots of studies that report links between nutritional deficiencies (Essential Fatty Acids and certain minerals such as zinc and magnesium) and dyslexia/dyspraxia/ADHD/autism.

In his book "Optimum Nutrition for the Mind" Patrick Holford quotes a study of 530 hyperactive children done at the University of Surrey which found that a significantly higher percentage of children with ADHD had taken several courses of antibiotics in early childhood than those children without ADHD, and that children who had had 3 or more courses of antibiotics before the age of 3 had significantly lower levels of zinc, calcium, chromium and selenium.

He also talks about another study which found that taking vitamin B6 and Magnesium were 10 times more effective at treating ADHD than Ritalin!

Hi Ellbell

My DD1 is 5.5 just started Year 1 and I also have a DS2 who is 3.3 and just started in nursery class. I know of Ossett. Yes we're lucky with the schools here too, there's a choice of three with infant provision, all good, with full-time nursery places.

Interesting re. nutritional deficiencies. Dd1 had a very limited diet for a long time. Just refused to eat 90% of what I offered her. She is much better now but it has taken a long time.

Just thinking about the link between nutrition/allergies and dreaminess, I got to thinking about how I became a non-dreamy adult having been a daydreamy child, and I realised that I stopped being dreamy (and clumsy) around the time that I sorted my diet out and dealt with my food intolerances and low blood sugar. I used to suffer from 'brain-fog' you know that fuzzy headedness where you can't concentrate which can be due to food intolerances, but when I cut out tea, coffee, excess sugar and dairy products it went away. I've now realised that my childhood dreaminess could well have been brain-fog and due to food intolerances! And this may also be the case with some of our children!!!

I'm really excited now. Perhaps I need to radically alter DD1's diet starting tomorrow to confirm my theory. (easier said than done) I know she has low blood sugar like me which makes her (and me)get tired so easily, and not curl-up-on-the-sofa type tired but irritable-raging-stropiness type tired (her and me!)

Ellbell - 90%! What did she eat? That must have been really hard. At least my DD1 is a good eater, well when she can sit still at the table long enough to eat anything!

Ha ha... the 'when she can sit still long enough' sounds familiar.

She refused all my lovingly pureed veg and fruit. She ate yogurt and cheese consistently and ... well... that's it really! She would occasionally allow a taste of other things, but would never eat them consistently. She seemed to have a very sensitive gag reflex and was very late to eat lumpy food and finger food. I resorted to giving her anything that she'd eat, regardless of my views on 'healthy' food. Hence she ate mini muffins for breakfast for a while, as I figured that was better than no breakfast at all. She ate [cringe] frankfurters for a bit. It was not a good diet (but I was desperate... don't judge me please!). It was really awful and I couldn't count the mealtimes that ended with both of us in tears. She started to improve from the age of about 3, and now has a really healthy diet with lots of fruit and veg, homemade bread (though she still favours cheese as a filling!), weetabix, etc. I give her fish-oil supplements now (though I can't say that they make a lot of difference) but no other supplements, as I figure she has a balanced diet.

Who am I to judge? My two occasionally have crisps and biscuits for breakfast because that's all they'll eat and we're rushing to get to school on time!

I give them fish oil supplements which do seem to calm them down a bit, and children's multi-vitamins and minerals, when I remember.

LOL! Thank goodness for 'normal' people, who don't always get it together, eh?

DD was accused by her teacher of being 'away with the fairies' today, but she took it as a compliment as she would quite like to be a fairy. Oh dear!

My DD1 would quite like to be a fairy too (wouldn't all little girls?!) in fact she used to say that she was going to be a tooth fairy when she grows up! Now she says that she's going to be a queen when she grows up as she's a princess now, which is quite logical I suppose.

She's very logical in fact and takes people literally. If somebody tells her she can't play with something she bursts into tears, even if it's one of her little friends or even her 3 year old brother! We have to say 'it isn't up to DS2 to tell you what you can and can't play with'.

I think she's quite emotionally immature in some ways (in fact school have said that too). For example, this year on her brother's 3rd birthday (when she was 5) she cried because she didn't get any presents, not just when it happened on his actual birthday but again at his party. Yet he didn't cry on her 5th birthday when he was 2.9 because he didn't get any presents, he understood that it wasn't his birthday.

Grrr - just come back from DS1's 'share' assembly. All kids stand up and say something about work they've done so far. DS1 fine - did everything he was supposed to, no dreaming. But then they give out the week's awards - for getting 10/10 in spelling, mental maths and tables, for being 'kind and helpful' in the playground, gold stars for children 'who always try their best'....it went on for ages. And DS1 NEVER gets anything - so far this year he hasn't even had a sticker. And I can see him getting more and more deflated - not visibly upset or anything; it just lowers his confidence.

Perhaps it's different in Yr 2 - rewards are harder to come by? Last year he often got stickers and his teacher was great at praise. I get the feeling that this year's only notices the super-confident 'hand up the teacher's nose' sort of child...

How annoying. DD1's school has a 'Star of the week' certificate for the pupil whose done the best/tried their hardest each week, and DD1 was never Star of the Week until nearly the end of the year and that upset her a bit. They also have merit cards and when they're full (10 entries) they get a merit certificate in assembly, and she's had two of those so that made up for it.

Could you give stickers at home to build his confidence? Even send him to school with a sticker on (for eating all his breakfast or getting dressed in time)?

Our school gives them out to all years for "most thoughtful" "tried his best" etc but as far as I know doesnt give them for academic achievement. Dt1 has got a few for "most thoughful" and I am still waiting for " tried his best" , Its very frustrating when everyone else seems to get them but its early days yet and at least there was no dreaming at assembly when he had to speak.

Also way off topic but FWIW like your DS my Dt2 is a mega farter and poos tend to be enormous, every 2 to 3 days. However hes lots better than he was when he was staining regularly and trying to hold it in . Told him he would get germs and it stopped instantly (Sorry TMI). I found that whole discussion about guts, birth traumas etc v interesting.

I think Dt2 has progressed a bit since he went back to school. i think he is still struggling a lot with concentration but seems , at least at home to be able to write quicker and his speech has progressed in the sense that its less jumbled and more fluent. He has a new friend also. i wrote a while ago that i was worried he was the only boy in his class last year to be in the composite yr2/yr3 class and that none of the boys that he was friendly with from either yr1 classes were in his new class.

Maggiems - I was thinking in the car yesterday (as you do ) that DS1's farting has been much better since he stopped eating bread. He did this of his own accord - says he doesn't like it - though he has the occasional piece. So I wonder whether wheat may be involved? Poos still enormous and every 2/3 days though.

Thanks for thoughts about assembly - and the stickers at home idea is a good one.

Good news about DT2

Hello! I have previous lurked on this thread, nodding at the screen and smiling in recognition at many of the descriptions of the children. It is so good to know there are other children like mine around lol!

DD1 is the dreamer. She is 6. Happy, confident, kind, but completely away with the fairies. Everyone who knows her knows you have to say her name, loudly, at least twice before you get her attention. She will start telling you something with no sense of context so having a conversation starts out by playing detctive about what she is talking about.

She loves books. Is a complete bookworm (to the extent that we have to take the lightbulb out at night to stop her reading book after book). She reads while getting dressed, in the car, at parties etc. She just loves all things magical and fluffy.

At school, she coasts along. She is bright, but has no drive, as she is happy to sit and daydream, and then rush whatever the task is at the last minute. In full class sessions you can see her tune out after a couple of minutes and then look bemused when everyone gets up and starts getting on with whatever they have been told to do.

Although she is in the top sets for everything, the school says she is not fulfilling her potential and they only see glimpses of what she is capable of, which frustrates them (and us!).

She finds it hard to go to sleep saying that her head is too full and she wishes she could switch her brain off.

People describe her as 'ethereal' and 'kooky'. She really is a lovely child. i just wish she would join us on this planet more!

I could go on, but would be here a long time. The insights on here about our dreamy children have been really informative to me, so hope this thread continues

She sounds lovely!

Good to see you here, katepol - welcome!

Things seem to be looking up for DS3 at the moment - I've been letting him make his own way to school and back and take responsibility for his own things, and it's going very well and motivating him. I've only once had to send him back to school for a PE kit at the end of the day (He's 8, in Year 4 and we live 5 minutes away from the school).

He's just started learning the piano, and that seems to be going well . Swimming lessons have had to stop for a while because the pool's closed, but when I took the family for a swim at the weekend I found DS3 could swim rather better than I thought - he has rather tended to mess around in the lessons.

katepol, is your daughter's school actually trying to do anything to motivate her or giving her any direct feedback, or are they just telling you she's not fulfilling her potential? (The latter attitude, sadly, seems to be par for the course these days. I keep meaning to get out DS1's old badge kit and make one for parents' night that says "Have you tried talking to my son?")

Hi Katepol. Your DD1 reminds me of how I was at school - a complete daydreamer, but bright and unstretched and SO BORED! I also had real trouble getting to sleep as my brain wouldn't stop thinking. My parents were both primary teachers so they did things like giving me simple French books to teach myself French, and taught me to play chess - things to stretch me which helped. I suffered from insomnia for years though until I saw a homeopathic doctor when I was about 13. I think my diet affected my lack of focus/concentration/motivation though as I've mentioned before. Has she got any food intolerances that you know of?

Welcome Katepol. Your DD sound's lovely! Without wanting to sound totally narcissistic she also sounds like me especially when I was young. I still have trouble getting to sleep, completely with your DD on not being able to switch brain off. Someone told me recently to play loud music to 'empty my brain' before bed. It does help when I remember to do it. I was also told to write thoughts down but haven't got round to that yet.

DS (my dreamer) shows all the signs of being the same but he's only 5 and I don't think he is up to realising/expressing it yet.

Glad things are going well Hallegarda. From posts about older dreamers, I wonder if things do start to fall into place around the 7/8/9 mark?

Welcome to Katepol! DS1 (9 in August) has lots of similarities to your DD, though he's getting more able to focus on tasks not of his choosing.

He still starts stories in the middle often or, rather, fails to provide any context so I don't know if he's talking about a book, a DVD, a game or something someone said at lunchtime.

He still finds it very difficult to switch his brain off and go to sleep; in the past I've tried massage from me, relaxation tapes, story tapes and just going with the flow, which is kind of where I am now.

In Y2 his teacher said how amazing his work would be if he did what he was capable of. It is very difficult to persuade him to do something he doesn't want to. However, DS1 is now getting a bit more competitive, which actually I'm quite pleased about.

Thank you for the lovely welcome ladies, and for your kind comments about my dd1. She is lovely, it is true. Just very frustrating lol!

As for the questions, there is no history of food intolerances. She did have glue ear for quite a while when a toddler, which I suspect propelled her on the route of tuning the world out, as she couldn't hear it very well .

In terms of her birth, it was completely fine, no intervention, and she was perfectly healthy, although quite small (5 1/2 lbs @ 40+9). She did have to have IV antibiotics when 6 months though (for pneumonia).

The school do not feel the need to do anything to try and engage her more, as she is achieving what she needs to. They do tend to conform to the stereotype of giving the most attention to those that shout the loudest, which dd patently does not!
It is very comforting to hear that those of you with slightly older dreamers are reporting more focus as they get older . Although I think inherently these kind of children will not change their spots, but maybe adapt to the world a bit more?

Lastly, one thing I forgot to mention is her inability to sit still. She regularly falls off chairs, trips over, walks into things and puts things in her mouth absentmindedly. It is as if her brain and her body lose contact somehow lol!
Enough from me. Thanks again .

Oh yes, DS1 does the fidgeting thing too. He loses his balance easily (though is improving as he gets older) and I catch him chewing his clothes quite frequently, though again, not as much as he used to. The thing he does which drives me mad is to wipe his mouth on the shoulder of his shirt - he really doesn't realise he's doing it, but it looks awful.

DS1 is the quintessential fidgeter and chewer. He chews less than he did, and his chewing is definitely worse when he has eaten something that affects him. He is always falling off chairs and tripping over things.....

Hello all, and welcome katepol.

I just had to come and share with you ladies how happy I am tonight. We had dd1's first parents' evening at her new school (year 3) tonight and it was amazing. I am so chuffed with her teachers (she has two working together in what seems to be a huge class...). They just seem to 'get' her in a way that her year 2 teacher patently didn't. They said that she is obviously very bright, especially in literacy. They described her writing as 'wonderful' and they said that she was a 'deep thinker'. When I said (anxiously) 'But what about her fidgeting/dreaming/failure to engage?', they just said that they didn't see it as a huge problem. Yes, she sometimes switches off, but mostly she is capable of fidgeting and listening at the same time, and as long as she wasn't disturbing those around her they just let her get on with it. (Her favourite fidget in class is apparently to take all the pencils out of the pencil jar and put them back in again... repeatedly!) They said that they thought she'd enjoy drama and that they'd try to find her a good part in the Christmas play. (Compare and contrast with last year, when she was a 'musician' and had to sit to one side and occasionally bang a tambourine.) I came out of there walking on air. Yes, she's still a fidget and a dreamer and she needs to learn to control that. But she doesn't have a huge problem, and they like her kookiness and her 'different-ness' and her unusual way of looking at the world. They understand that she is my wonderful and frustrating and unique and sparky dd1 and not a weirdy freak. Hooray

Sorry... have read that back and I sound like a demented thing. But I have had a year of worry because of her negative Yr 2 teacher, and this was like a breath of fresh air.

sphil and singersgirl... interesting about the chewing. I'm sure dd1 doesn't realise she is doing it either.

Thinking about the antibiotics thing. Did anyone else have steroids before their baby was born to mature their lungs. I had dexamethasone (sp?) weekly for 8 weeks. (I know not the same as antibiotics, but just another drug factor...)