Dreamer of dreams,born out of my due time, Why should I strive to set the crooked straight. Wm Morris

[indignatio]

Hopefully the link from the other thread will work

My stats

ds is 4.5 - summer born
In reception class

Has issues with:-
Easy distractability (school work and practical tasks)
Concentration problems when not totally engaged by something (95% of the time)
Fidgeting
Getting "lost" in the middle of a complicated sentence/explaination.
Bossy manner
Isolation at school
Poor eye contact
Repetition of sentences until he hears the acknowledgement
No herding instinct

On the positive
Very loving boy
Exceptional reader for his age
Good at maths
Lots of "home" friends
If gripped by something, can concentrate on it for ages

dx:
teacher initially thought he might have dyspraxia - no longer thinks so.
I consider that he has more add traits, but would not go so far as to say he has add.
SENCO to informally assess him next week and then meeting to be arranged with parents, teacher and senco shortly thereafter.

Not sure what else I should put in.

Ellbell, that's lovely . Do let us know how the drama goes - I'd considered it for DS3 (and even started a thread on here about it) but it's not proved possible to timetable after school (must clone myself sometime ) and at school it's generally The Usual Suspects who get parts.

On the food point, I am fairly sure it's not an issue in DS3's case. His only exposure to antibiotics would have been via breast milk at around 8 months when I had bronchitis. ChiefFairyCakeMaker, do you think it is possible that the fact you were taking control and responsibility might have been the key, rather than the diet changes themselves?

katepol, I suspect ex-dreamers of a certain age divide into the charmingly disorganized and the exceptionally together, never late, write everything on long lists types.

Ellbell - what a lovely post . The right teacher makes such a difference. DS1's teacher last year was like that - the jury's out so far on this year's....

Ellbell - that sounds great for your dd1, and a huge relief for you. I know what you mean about teachers making all the difference.
DD1's reception teacher 'got' her and dd1 was very happy and felt appreciated. Her Year 1 teacher just ignored her pretty much, and she has lost some confidence through this. I have had no contact with her Year 2 teacher so far. Reputation is good, but as you say, it is whether they understand or not that makes the difference.
Must be lovely for your dd1's talents to be recognised, rather than any diffoculties she presents being complained about.

Hallgerda - I suspect my dd1 is going to fall into the charmingly disorganised group (what a lovely expression) - I just cannot see her with a list and not losing it lol!

Sphil - do you any plan of action in case this years teacher doesn't get your DS1??

Oh, just fire and brimstone

Seriously, we have parents' evening in a couple of weeks, so I'll find out more then.

Hallgerda - I know what you mean but there were plenty of physical (as well as emotional) improvements when I sorted out my food intolerances.

Katepol - glue ear has been linked to food intolerance, namely dairy and secondly wheat/gluten intolerance.

Sorry to keep going on about nutritional therapy / homeopathy on an education thread, it's just that I know how helpful it can be. Perhaps I need to find/start an 'alternative therapy' thread...

Ellbell - I'm really pleased DD1's teachers are so in tune with her, that must be such a relief after last year.

Hello everyone - Ellbell that is glorious!! Well done to everyone concerned.

Hallgerda, I am exactly your second category of ex-dreamer (that was a stroke of perceptive genius). I want ds to be somewhere in the middle of course - not neurotically agenda'd like me, & able to see wood for trees - which is what I am so bad at.

As to dreamers getting more focussed as they get older - yes, we are seeing that with ds (who's nearly 8 and a half) but it seems to go with being less passive - so his focus is (increasingly insistently) on his own agenda. Which creates issues of its own - as always, at school, but not at home.

Hello. Only found this thread last night. Had a late one as had to keep reading!
My lovely dd is 4.7, has just started reception.
Her difficulties:
v dreamy,
easily distracted from tasks,
unclear speeech,
makes out of blue remarks unrelated to anything around her,
poor gross and fine motor skills(weak muscles)
limited social skills(cannot remember anyones names, seems on a different wavelength to other children,keen to make friends but often ignored esp by other girls)
asthma, eczema, recently has bad allergic reaction to dogs.
Her talents:
v imaginative(makes up stories,has imaginary friends, also tells me about things she's done at school which she hasn't,
good memory,
good vocabulary but hard to understand,
happy, loving, placid.
Can we join you?

I'm glad you've got such lovely feedback about your DD, Ellbell.

DH is Hallgerda's first type of ex-dreamer - charmingly disorganised. Well, lots of people find it charming, but having lived through many years of lost passports, missed flights and mislaid keys, I don't find it quite so appealing any more.....

Welcome Josiegirl! Your DD sounds as if she'll fit right in here. It's great that we're getting more girls now - I find that reassuring, for some reason...

Hey,I'm the second type of ex-dreamer too. And DS1 loves lists - as long as someone else writes them

Lovely lovely post Ellbell, I can feel your joy, it gives me hope.
Welcome Josiecat, hope to hear lots more about your Dd.

I'm not sure what sort of dreamer I am. In some ways I am disorganised in the sense that I stuff things in drawers and pockets and dh frequently finds £5 notes on the door step However in other ways I am highly organised to the point that I am a bt OCd ish. I just reread that and it doesnt look good!

I had a better parents evening the other day She's only had them a few weeks so can't expect her to really know any of the children yet.

It's always a bit disconcerting when you can hear her saying nice things to parents before you. We get there and again it's all about the listening and day dreaming. But on the whole she wasn't so down on him as old teacher and said he was around average in the class. I'm pleased with that, average is fine for a day dreaming July born boy

His reception year teacher got him, it'd be nice if this one by the end of the year could have something positive things to say about him. Not for my childs sake but for me as a parent , I want to hear something nice. More seriously this teacher does seem quite sensible.

I'm a list writing ex-dreamer. Infact I ended up studying information management, I nearly became a dyslexic librarian .

A childhood of loving to read factual books combined with the short term memory of a goldfish, resulted in an appreciation of the use of databases and information management systems. Knowing how to find things, then knowing how to store them so you can find them again is deliciously useful for somebody like me.

I also spent my childhood not remembering or listening to what I was meant to be doing and where I was meant to be going. As an adult I discovered the use of have databases, lists. My house is orgnanized with a place for everything.

It works most of the time for me now and what I've typed above probably makes me sound like an OCD case. However I still manage to fall into a disorganized heap reguarly. My systems work fine, long as nobody interferes or tells me things and I can't get to write them down.

Other mothers at school laugh at me (in an affectionate way) because I'm always getting something wrong. Turning up for parents evening on the wrong day, that sort of thing. Can any of you tell me where my sons spelling book is?? It was on the dining room table yesterday.

Bink, it wasn't perceptive genius - I was describing my parents . The dreaminess goes back at least one further generation in my family. I should add, given the amount of doom, gloom and despondency one might find on the web, that the dreamers in my family have had interesting and fulfilling lives, and (to my knowledge) no drug addiction. Going back a generation or two, dreamers met with the full force of the school discipline system (or the even worse rigours of working life) and worked out some self-management strategies.

ChiefFairyCakeMaker, while I'm sceptical over the diet hypothesis (believing as I do that dreaminess is largely inherited, I'm not beating myself up over that dose of antibiotics while still breastfeeding either), I'm always interested in hearing other people's ideas and experiences (and recipes), so please don't feel you shouldn't be talking about diet on an education thread. Do allow me a minor over the fact you haven't called yourself ChiefFlaxSeedandBananaSmoothieMaker though... (sorry, couldn't resist). If you want to talk to a wider range of people about food intolerances, perhaps starting a separate thread under Health would be a good idea.

maggiems, I'm both and that you can leave £5 notes on your front step - I wish I lived somewhere like that!

Blueblob, don't worry, you don't sound like an OCD case. If I were you I'd encourage your son to take responsibility for his own spelling book - good experience for him and it'll go missing less often if there's only one person to lose it iyswim .

After my whinging post of 20/9, DS1 erupts out of school at the end of the day to announce that he's been made a 'badger warder' and has to wear a gold star which he can keep until Christmas. It wasn't until I'd questioned him for a few minutes on how he came to be learning about the care of badgers that the penny dropped.

He's been given a Badge Award .

Great news!

Just sticking my head round the corner and read Josiecat's post. I know a big part of this is to accept each child for what they are, but just wanted to say Josiecat, I could have written your post a few years ago. Your DD sounds identical to mine.

My DD's speech difficulties were partly due to not being able to move her tongue very much. The physio asked her to move it up and down and side to side, I was shocked when it hardly moved. She's also had OT & Physio and a fair bit of help at school. Thought you might like to hear that she has made huge progress over the time she has been to school. There are still issues, but they are much less. Went to look at Middle School today. A year ago I would have been hyperventilating. Came out really positive about the whole thing, which was lovely. Just to say I know how it feels when this first comes up and things do improve.

Sorry Josiecat - just realised I called you Josiegirl a few posts ago!

Thanks for messages of support. Chocolateteapot, my dd's speech therapist has noticed lack of tongue movement and we have exercises to do. Is this another common link? We are lucky. Dd's delayed development was picked up early and she has some TA support already. She is loving reception and came home holding a little nursery childs hand(a real one not imaginary!) 1st parents evening next week but I'm feeling positive so far. School seem very encouraging and positive about her imagination.

Hallgerda - I guess we all have different ideas about what causes our children's dreaminess. I agree that it can be inherited but I also think that other factors such as a difficult birth, food intolerances and nutritional deficiencies could play a part. I guess it goes back to whole nature/nurture debate.

You got me thinking about how far back it went in my own family, and I realised that my mum is a complete and utter dreamer! She was 'a late developer' at school and struggled with reading, writing and spelling. She's realised since that she was probably dyslexic but dyslexia hadn't been invented then! But she really does live in her own little world, she doesn't know what day it is half the time. My sister gets very frustrated with her and complains that she doesn't even know what planet she's on!

So thank you for that - it explains a lot. Oh and my fairy cakes are of course made with wholemeal flour, fructose, organic butter and free range eggs!!

The food intolerance is definitely an issue with DS1. Sometimes when he's eaten stuff he shouldn't, his eyes go quite glazed and 'drugged'.

But there is also a strong genetic component, I think. DS2 and I are both of the daydreaming but quite organised and diligent sort. DH and DS1 are both of the hapsy-flapsy, trust-with-your-life-but-not-with-your-toaster sort. My DB also reckons he would have been diagnosed ADHD today.

Sorry - ds can't fit into a pattern WRT food intolerences, antibiotics nor difficult birth. Genetics (or a disposition that way) are another matter.

Could I have a PMM (Proud Mummy moment) please. Ds has had 2 (I didn't know about the first) "badges" for achievement already this term. It is hoped that each child will get 1 such "badge" in any given year, so to have two in the first month is a bit of a coo. The second was for his reading - on standing up in assembly for his award, he had his finger up his nose then and corrected the head... - I still have no idea what the first was for as he can't remember. ( could we have a shaking head in bewilderment smiley - I would use a lot of those)

There is definitely genetics in our case, but sporadic. Me, and my mother's father (the kind of child found having a bath but without having remembered to get undressed) (he ended up as a prep school headmaster, and was the loveliest, most child-wavelengthed person I have ever known), and dh's dad, who is quite the archetypical professor - but most of the rest of the family are all rather down to earth and efficient. I've had to generate my coping ideas myself, and did it late - I remember a (Supremely Efficient) friend at college saying "But you have no sense of urgency!"