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Original poster

Transgender pupil

48 replies

mummybear701 · 13/01/2017 17:55

Not been posting much but could do with some advice here. I've found through DD a pupil in her class (1st year at secondary) has come out as transgender, a boy now a girl. Personally I have no issues with this and why should I? Actually I admire someone for having the courage to come out at a young age. Perhaps unsurprisingly DD and others are not so sure how to understand this and not sure how to help. What it means in practical terms is they have officially changed name, wear the girls uniform/long hair etc., mostly female friends and interests (as before transition). I'm told they do use the girls toilets which unsurprisingly some are not happy with, but do change separate for PE.

OP posts:
WhyOhWine · 19/01/2017 19:25

DD is at an all girls school. There was a transgender person higher up the school (born a girl and presumably idenitfying as a girl when she started). The school seemed to me to be quite sensitive about it - quite a lot of talk about trans (and other) issues in PHSE lessons (or whaver they are called) and the girls very much took it in their stride. They have now left to go to a co-ed school. DOnt believe this was forced on them by the school but was their/parents' decision.
What I was vaguely wondering about (although have not spent any real time thinking about ) is whether the current approach to transgender would give someone born a boy the right to attend an all girls school (or vice versa). Or whether it could mean the end of single sex schools.

user789653241 · 19/01/2017 19:25

......truly identify herself as a girl... is what I mean.

Honestly, I can't find the link, but read something about studies on human brains long time ago, that size of some(can't remember where) part of brain is different in female and male. And those who are transgender has size in between. I don't know if it's just a bogus or real research, but it made sense to me, that they are born like that. Also read about being born gay is a lot to do with hormonal environment inside womb. So, I can't blame my ds if he turns out to be gay because I kept him in my womb!

pieceofpurplesky · 19/01/2017 19:41

Current trend in school is mixed toilets anyway. The Ones in my school are boys on the right and girls on the left. Sinks in the middle. Kids don't seem to mind

Original poster
mummybear701 · 19/01/2017 19:45

I really didn't mean for this to go in the direction of questioning the validity of transgender children, and just to clarify this is a trans girl, not a boy in a dress, not a mentally ill child, not from an abusive home, etc. I was looking for ways to explain it to DD and possibly other 'constructive' experiences others have had. The school have taken a rational decision in my view especially as other 11/12 yo girls knew this person as a boy previously, and some parents like Prawnofthepatriarchy were protesting. I know there are transgender people using the loos in shops, malls etc. and find nothing sinister as long they are quietly going about their business.

I'm particularly appalled at the repeated reference to her as a 'boy' and using male pronouns despite repeated corrections on this thread, and linking to a discredited documentary. I am proud I have done my best to make DD open minded on these issues but understand legitimate concerns like toilet use. Whether this girl detransitions or not - unlikely from what I'm hearing, but thats why you don't get hormones or surgery until 18 and I think need further verification you have made an informed decision. If she does, no harm done and she has been supported properly through this time.

OP posts:
Traalaa · 19/01/2017 19:53

Prawn, as I said earlier, we'll have to agree to differ and of course boys aren't more important than girls. My point in a nutshell is that as a girl and having been to school albeit a million years ago, I really can't think why the girls have a problem with the trans girl using the toilets. You use the term 'distress', I mean honestly? You can't be serious. What an over reaction to nothing. And as for saying it's discriminating against girls. That is just ridiculous. I am bowing out now as it's pointless arguing, but mummy bear, good on you for saying how appalled you are. I am too!

titchy · 19/01/2017 20:58

Traalaa - do an advanced search on a poster called wankers.....something on the feminist boards. She talks about her sd and other girls being sexually assaulted by a boy who has now decided he is in fact a trans girl and as such is able to use the girls loos to continue to harass female students. School is being all politically correct and enabling this abuse to continue.

Google the American trans girl student, Lori something, demanding access to female changing rooms flashing 'her' erection around.

Google a photo of Danielle Muscato, so much woman in that beard!

Wake up - women are being put in very vulnerable positions in the pursuit of trans rights. And our schools are encouraging it and saying girls have to just get used to it. If adults in positions of authority are telling our girls that, what hope do they have in the future iof being able to keep safe in the future.

Chimchar · 19/01/2017 21:09

I've not read the full thread, but glanced quickly over it.

I watched this a long time ago and thought it was really good. Maybe your dd would learn from watching it about the some of the issues that transgender kids go through.

Traalaa · 19/01/2017 21:18

titchy, I don't need to wake up thanks. There are always stories about rogue people who behave appallingly and I'm not denying it happens, but the huge majority aren't bad in any way, they're just vulnerable young people who need a bit of support and compassion. I fail to see how letting one young person (who has had the courage to be so open about how they feel and identify as female) use the girl's toilets is going to lead to potential abuse on any level. Girls use the toilets, they close the door. Are you honestly saying that this kid might try and attack the other girls? What a weirdly wrong headed thought.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 19/01/2017 21:18

The poster Titchy mentions is WankingMonkey. She describes the harassment of girls by a transgirl at her DD's school. Then there's Lila Perry. 150 girls in Lila's small town walked out in protest at being told to share facilities with the bouncy dicked charmer.

I can't imagine why you think the recent BBC documentary has been "discredited", OP. It's been very well reviewed in British media.

Transgender pupil
Transgender pupil
Traalaa · 19/01/2017 21:19

Good link, Chimchar. Smile

Original poster
mummybear701 · 19/01/2017 21:23

Look this is getting ridiculous. My DD doesn't have to be friends with this pupil, but she'll be a heck of a lot more tolerant than some on this thread. Some of the transphobic comments really beggar belief.

Titchy - the people you're listing are sexually deviant people/perverts and is nothing to do with being transgender.

Not a single transphobic poster even acknowledges there might be another side to the debate. How we stop sex offenders pretending to be trans for their own perversions without harming genuine people is a debate to be had, but not here. Pedalling this as the default motive for transgender people is downright offensive and does not describe the pupil in question.

Thats all I have to say on this. Thanks for the useful advice among the nonsense.

OP posts:
titchy · 19/01/2017 21:34

Titchy - the people you're listing are sexually deviant people/perverts and is nothing to do with being transgender.

Yes!!! You've got it! So how do we tell the difference? How do we promote tolerance and understanding of genuine dysphoric teens when Lori and Danielle flag their female dicks in the name of their rights?

CancellyMcChequeface · 19/01/2017 21:46

I'm particularly appalled at the repeated reference to her as a 'boy' and using male pronouns despite repeated corrections on this thread, and linking to a discredited documentary.

Have you seen the documentary?

Upthread I used the neutral pronoun 'they' to be polite, but seriously? People are disagreeing with you. They don't need to be 'corrected' into calling a boy a girl if it goes against their view of reality. You're entitled to use the language you think fitting, and so are they.

Bambambini · 21/01/2017 17:40

Tralalaa

I'm surprised you think the transgirl can use the girls loos no problem but don't think transboys should use the boys? Really? You are one of those nasty bigoted TERFS than and transphobic.

OP is slso transphobic if she has a problem with this trsnsgirl using the changing rooms or girls dorms and shower rooms on trips. Or competing in the girls sports events or going for any scholarships on offer.

WellErrr · 21/01/2017 17:52

Why does your DD feel uncomfortable with the girl using the toilets, mummy

Why does this male bodied person feel u comfortable using the boys toilets?

Ouriana · 21/01/2017 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Traalaa · 22/01/2017 15:57

Good point, Bambini. Though I was thinking it might be awkward for them too, as they couldn't use the urinals, etc.

TheBogQueen · 15/02/2017 19:45

Honestly, I can't find the link, but read something about studies on human brains long time ago, that size of some(can't remember where) part of brain is different in female and male. And those who are transgender has size in between.

This is utter nonsense. Hmm

There is no evidence of any physical difference between the brains of men and women, except that women's brains are smaller because they are physically smaller.

There are no physical differences. None st all.

However brain function is shaped by biology i.e. hormones and by experience.
'Lady brain' does not exist. Wanting to perform feminity or masculinity does exist. I don't think that's a necessarily terrible thing - but suggesting transgender has a biological basis is wrong - there is no clear evidence yet.

TheBogQueen · 15/02/2017 19:48

As for the child - my advice would be to treat them with respect because they are a person. I've no ideas about the toilet situation.

CookieDoughKid · 15/02/2017 21:45

There are 2 transgender people (male to female) in my company, both incredibly talented and well respected. I don't know what toilet they use (and I don't care either). One of them actually made the change last year and made an announcement to the wider team. Everyone congratulated him. It's no big deal at my company at all now which is a real step in the right direction.

What's the problem about Male to Female trans using women's toilets?

Sorry if this is TMI but you know women can rape women, right? And it happens far more often than you think. And Men can still go into ladies toilets and rape. A rapist will rape no matter if he is male, female, trans.

I appreciate this is not a school setting but really, people need to get a grip with themselves!

titchy · 16/02/2017 09:20

women can rape women, right?

Given that rape involves the insertion of a penis women cannot rape.

glenthebattleostrich · 16/02/2017 09:40

No cookie women can sexually assault women.

And it's not just about toilets (says glen for what feels like the 100000th time). Its about changing rooms, rape crisis centres, hospital wards and other places a woman can reasonably expect to be women only. It does worry and infuriate me that thius argument is always taken back to silly little women and their obsessive desire to keep their pretty loos to themselves. It is a tactic designed by TAs (and MRAs) to belittle and demean women's valid concerns.

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