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Original poster

Anyone have knowledge of Ampleforth?

194 replies

Tinkerboo · 01/12/2006 14:20

Any Dh's go there? or DS's or DD's now?
We looked around. Out of our league price wise I think, but we were impressed with the young people and the ethos, were we duped?

OP posts:
SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 09:37

I agree with Xenia

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 10:40

I repeat. I enjoyed it. My school days were some of the happiest of my life and I know many who genuinely feel like this and hold their old school in real affection. My DH however went to a sink comp and hated every single day of it, and is envious of the happy time and opportunities I had, and wants our Ds's to have this rather than his experience.

I would have to concede however that we are two extremes. His school was particuarly rough and awful, and mine was not a typical public school. It had a differnet philosophy, was co ed, very relaxed, big into outdoor Ed, community work, running school farm etc, a caring atmosphere.
My brother however went to a more traditional boys public school and didn't really enjoy it.

Maybe those of you who have a very anti view, have more experience of the traditional kind. Dh and I were hoping Ampleforth a caring community and that's why I wanted comments really, see if this was the case.

BTW, all those anti boarders did you never read Malory Towers fgs? I coundn't wait to get there. sadly no lacrosse or midnight feasts though.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 10:41

SmileysPeople, I wonder if you and I went to the same school? It sounds very similar

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 10:42

Also might be worth commenting I had to go to boarding school, as parents living in a part of the world with no British Ed after age 11yrs. And every one I knew went and so it didn't feel like rejectio, just the norm. V exciting flying back and forth each hols with your friends.

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 10:43

ohh really SGSUTGS?? (damn these christmassy names. Mine was in staffordshire?

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 10:47

On the staffordshire/derbyshire border?

HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel · 03/12/2006 10:52

I too agree with Xenia.
I'm sure some boarding schools offer excellent facilities, get great exam results etc, but I wouldn't want my children to live in a situation where the adults care for them because it is their job.
Nothing can replace living your childhood at home amongst a loving family IMO.

zippitippitoes · 03/12/2006 10:55

but boarding schools have very long holidays and also you can weekly or flexi board

it can be better than travelling to school every day on long bus journeys

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:01

YES right On the staff/derbyshire border!!
Why didn't you like it? Was it the boarding?

Incidently I am very close to my family much closer than DH, who did stay at home and go to the local comp.

Having said all this, there is no way I'd let my children board, I couln't bear for them to be away. As I said earlier we're considering private, but day.

I just felt i should put the other side, not EVERYONE's boarding experience is negative and damaging.

Who are you SGSUTGS????

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:17

Hmm, there were lots of reasons. It was actually my idea to go, because of difficulties at home. I have some fairly major grievances against the school and some of its personnel, and don't think boarding school is generally a good thing - but I also think those years would have been thorny for me wherever I had been, really. It't not black and white.

What year did you leave, SmileysPeople?

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:21

Ok santa. lets tentatively play this game

I think I left in 1989 (not good at working this out, bit dim another clue?) I am 37yrs.

Some teachers were crap, definetly.

just to confirm it's the same school, does it begin with A?

This subterfuge is fun!!

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:23

you won't know me then, I left in 1995

Yes, A, and the village nearby started with R.... I'm sure it must be the same school!

Oooh, how exciting!!

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:23

God no I'm not I'm I'm 36yrs. Change that to V dim.

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:27

yes it's the same school, and

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:31

Naw, I started at 13. I was in Cedarholme

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:33

There may be others who do know us

I was a disruptive troublemaking type. I miss the Dingle, but not much else

Judy1234 · 03/12/2006 11:35

A lot boarding schools went mixed to keep up pupil numbers and get the btter results girls get in exams. A lot went day or partly day because again parents realise the harm boarding does (in many but not all cases). I've had some very damaged strange people say look at me, it did me no harm and you look at their life of broken relationships and problems in getting close to their own children and you think.. who are you trying to kid, mate...

But a day pupil in a private school is a very different thing and many day private schools have facilities at least as good as the boarding schools. Another thing to watch out for with the falling numbers boarding schools which abound is they are packed with Russians, Chinese etc which is fine in some ways but if you're with people who don't speak your language so well that may not be what you want. I know someone who had to collect his daughter every weekend as she tried to survive in that environment to pass A levels. Choose with care.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:37

at "packed with Russians, Chinese etc"

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:40

Oh really, I was the ernest throw myself into it type. I only ever went down the Dingle on genuine outdoor pursuits .
I guess I bought into the ethos they presented, was a 'red' (did they still have those), prefect head of house etc.(feeling V square now)

did find time to get drunk and have alot of sex tho.( that;s waht 6th form studies were for) And people, that's what unsupervised teenagers do. The best argument against boarding.

Did you get expelled? Go on you can tell me. people were always getting expelled, and we were always OUTRAGED at the authorities.

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:43

Actually even in the 1980's there were alot of Chinese. They did have there own closed community almost. Not a problem then, but it did exist.
This school was coed from early 70's xenia, it did have a different ethos, not traditional. But most are now going Co ed.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 11:51

No, I didn't get expelled, although I was threatened a few times . I wasn't so much a drink and drugs type, although I did smoke... I was more your common or garden rude, nasty little pig

There were fun times - lots of them - but I still have a lot of objections to the way it was run. Bullying was a horrendous problem when I was there. I also felt the Prefects' Detention system was a form of institutionalised bullying which was deliberately not checked properly by the staff. I remember things like being made to shovel muck for hours in the rain, and another 3rd year on "muck heap" detention finding a dead lamb which had been put there deliberately by the 6th form boy whose PD it was. There was inadequate supervision and virtually no activities at the weekends, it was a recipe for disaster - no wonder there were so many expulsions...and various other things which were just completely unacceptable. I wouldn't let my children within 20 miles of the place.

I really want to know who you are now, I bet I have heard of you.... Orchard House was the posh one though

zippitippitoes · 03/12/2006 11:51

I did make the Chinese reference earlier..

ds gf is half chinese and half italian, but it's quite handy as they can both go to hk to visit parents..he has friends from all over the world which is very interesting

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:58

Oh well I hardly ever got PD, you must have been BAD!! and when I was a prefect I was V nice. I was always unawre of ANY bullying, and would have said that was one of the really positive things about the school. just shows such different experinces of the same place.

I'm sure you wouldn't have heard of me as I'd already left, I was a bit goody-goody (apart frim all the sex) and hardly a legend!!

tell me the teachers you hated...can we name them on here?

SmileysPeople · 03/12/2006 11:59

have you kept friends from there? That always seemed another strengh the strong friendships. Dh doesn't have any friends from his school days.

SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 12:06

I have kept a few friends from there, and I keep in touch with Derek Sederman (he runs the OA club) via email once or twice a year.

I think there was a bit of a divided culture when I was there tbh - there were lots of confident, well-balanced pupils who really loved it and were happy and thrived on it, but there was also always a sub-set of people who weren't so successful socially, and there was ferocious bullying which the teachers made no effort to prevent. I found it a very claustrophobic, socially high-pressured and rigidly hierarchical little society. I was bullied severely, physically and otherwise, and the idea of my own children being miles from home and frightened, with nobody to look out for them..... no way!

Teachers..... I didn't really hate anyone, but there were some bizarre specimens! DazFaz himself was a consummate prat.

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