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Original poster

Anyone have knowledge of Ampleforth?

194 replies

Tinkerboo · 01/12/2006 14:20

Any Dh's go there? or DS's or DD's now?
We looked around. Out of our league price wise I think, but we were impressed with the young people and the ethos, were we duped?

OP posts:
SmileysPeople · 02/12/2006 09:14

Yes it was Rupert Everett not Graves was it me who said Graves, sorry.
A disturbing plethoras of Ruperts tho methinks?

Rupert E, not a good advert, interesting and funny, but not EXACTLY what I was hoping for with DS's.
Colin Firth went there too I think. He seems OK?
And Lawrence Delalio, I think? not so good? I have a friend who has a frind who had sex with him in the toilet on a train. Monks did a good job there.

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 02/12/2006 09:16

also Julian Fellowes went there
I'm not sure why I know all this however!
I don't think you can blame Ampleforth for Rupert E, I think he was probably quite an 'individual' anyway

lol at Lawrence D.

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 09:35

HI Tinkerboo/smiley

foxtrottothefestivegrotto · 02/12/2006 09:41

LOL my only knowledge of ampleforth is through an ex named Rupert LOL.

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 09:48

I know nothing about it at all

I've still managed to comment..I am taking after Xenia

Rhubarb · 02/12/2006 11:35

Of all the people I have met who have gone to boarding school, I can honestly say that those who liked it are in the minority.

One in fact.

And that is the OP of this thread.

nearlythere · 02/12/2006 11:58

hey, can i add my two-pennies worth! I went to public day school from 13-16 and then begged (seriously!) my parents to send me to boarding school for 6th form- it did me the power of good and i loved it- as did the majority of the other 'inmates'. Once you settle in its great, you live with your closest friends, your teachers are part of the everyday community and are always on hand for help and support.
Please don't brand us all as snobby idiots!

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 13:14

I just asked ds about boarding

i said Hey ds, what do you think about baording school did you like it

gives me strange look

er yeah..why

it's just that whe the subject comes up on mumsnet [eople always say that everybody says they like it when they're there but when they get to 35 they say it was awful

strange look intensifies

stating the obvious, pitying tone is employed

well it's better than going everyday isn;t it

Judy1234 · 02/12/2006 13:53

Vut he wouldn't necessarily know if he were emotionally damaged, would he, have the kind of hard aura, that protection measure, that never letting people close because of the emotional damage done earlier and then to have to admit to others even your wife you're damaged, who would ever admit that?

I still think in general most children are damaged by boarding school unless their home life would have been so dire boarding saves them from that. Obviously the older you get the less damage is done. I speak to lots of teenage boarders and by no means all say they'll send their children away. They say awful things like - I survived. I got through it. As if it's something that you have to manage, cope with that shouldn't be foisted on you if you have loving parents.

Psychiatric patient after patient of my fathers was hurt by being sent away and don't say oh but the food and bedrooms are better now and you aren't caned any more because that's not the point. I suppose weekend exeats limit the damage but even then the school ends up with more influence than the parent. If there's an ethos that children smoke or take drugs or show off about money the parent cannot ameliorate that. If there's trouble at school there is no sanctuary of home and your own bed room at night. I just don't think overall it's a good thing. You pay to damage your children.

See
www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/home.html

NotAnOtter · 02/12/2006 14:02

batters...i did not tutor either of mine to get them into the grammar school - despite being 'out of area' which makes it harder to get in.
some do .
the cost of paying a tutor for an hour a week for however long it takes - does not come close to even a term at one of these schools
Ampleforth is £12,000 a year for a day boy
Grammar schools are free and open to everyone .Private schools not so

CantWaitForTheSnow · 02/12/2006 14:14

Ampleforth is far more 'down to earth' than many of the public schools. Personally I wouldn't chose it as I don't think their discipline is as strong as it might be. Academically I don't think its too hard to get into. It does seem to be a very friendly place. Will ask dh for more info.

Where are your children at the moment?

Judy1234 · 02/12/2006 14:19

Despite what I said it's probably a nicer environment than a lot of the boarding schools. There was a TV programme about it which showed a lot. I think it was A.

CantWaitForTheSnow · 02/12/2006 14:26

Yes, they did have a documentary done a couple of years ago, painted them in a very bad light. Don't believe everything you see on TV!

Judy1234 · 02/12/2006 14:38

It wasn't that bad. I liked the pastoral care of the monks in charge. It did show the drinking etc that boarding school children can get into I think from memory.

sophiewd · 02/12/2006 14:43

My seven cousins from one family all went there plus one from another family. All the Irish loved it and the other one wasn't impressed. Horses for courses.

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 17:49

!!!!!!!!!! Xenia he is perfectly happy and actually doesn't drink much at all, his girlfriend is teetotal

He went to a concert there one evening with a couple of mates two weeks ago and on eof his teachers who is taking a gap year this year is going to drive down and help him move some of his stuff this week.

He is perfectly well adjusted with lots of friends of different ages from school and backgrounds, male and female.

he is quite happy to come home and he i independent and streetwise.

Not at all "harmed" by his boarding.

Judy1234 · 02/12/2006 18:32

Okay. I'm still not convinced for most children it's a good thing to be sent away. The trouble with psychiatrists is they see it when things go wrong and I have spoken to a lot of people who use words which suggest they have "survived", built up a protective layer, couldnt' tell their parents how they really felt, suffered and "got through it" as if education is some kind of emotional endurance course. And I've met a lot of adults who went away, particularly at 7, who have a kind of wall they built up because of the trauma, like orphans and those damaged by being evacuated in the war. It can be hard to be different and eccentric and even yourself in a place where uniformity is all. At least a day school you can come home and count your stamps or suck your thumb or whatever you like.

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 18:36

ah well maybe not all schools see uniformity as a virtue..there are schools with an ethos of individuality like ds school

they value each individual for themselves not as a pack

I would have though Eton tended more to the uniformity than the individual if anything but then I know nothing of it or Ampleforth

CantWaitForTheSnow · 02/12/2006 18:54

Sorry, dh didn't add anything of real value. Caring, friendly school. Depends if it suits your children or not.

worcestercaroline · 02/12/2006 19:04

I live close to Ampleforth, I think they r much more strict about the drinking and smoking side since the tv programme on it. It has lovely surroundings. My husband went there and enjoyed it. There was some bad press with the 1 or 2 monks doing things he shouldnt to some of pupils and also before they took girls there was also some stuff in paper about boys sleeping with the female cleaners. But hey there is scandal at most schools these days. There r a fair few up them selves rich kids that go there but also a fair few down to earth middle class kids. Had a friends daughter who went there after trying local comp, which she hated but she loves being at ampleforth. aGAIN IT DEPENDS ON YR CHILD AND ALSO IF U CAN AFFORD. n.yorks is a lovely place to live

worcestercaroline · 02/12/2006 19:07

seats r very hard and not nice to sit on in the abbey when at a service, they need to invest in some nice comfy cushions. Not important point but worth noting!!

eggnog · 02/12/2006 19:42

Boarding has changed A LOT in the last 15 years. for a start there are regular inspections now. it is silly to make generalisations based on peoples experiences from 30 or more years ago. I have a few people from Ampleforth and they were very nice, normal public school types. bit rugger buggerish if i remember, but hell, they played rugby so cant hold that against them.

eggnog · 02/12/2006 19:43

, sorry

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/12/2006 08:34

My cousin attended Ampleforth and his parents paid for his full boarding. They also bought a flat in that part of the world so they could go and visit him.

He enjoyed his time there I think and learnt a lot from it.

Judy1234 · 03/12/2006 09:34

There is not a scandal at most schools these days. There are scandals at boarding schools (some) because parents aren't there to protect their children. Boarding schols are generically wrong. Okay, some "survive" but at a price and the fact they have fluffy duvets rather than the cane doesn't remove the psychological issues with them. It's just you're more likely to be conned into thinking it's all fine.

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