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Original poster

Thread For Boarders

826 replies

morethanpotatoprints · 01/06/2015 11:33

Just thought I'd start a support thread for those either starting this september or established boarders happy to help those with many queries.

There are quite often individual threads for particular schools but it doesn't necessarily say whether boarding, day, private or state in the title. So I thought this would be a good way of getting us all together and also for those people from overseas looking for particular types of schools.

My dd is starting in sept and will weekly board, atm I am gathering uniform and other essential items and will begin the labelling process soon.
I do quite like this as sad as it seems, I find hand sewing very therapeutic and relaxing for some reason.

OP posts:

happygardening · 21/04/2016 07:47

I'm sure it's worth it, but as you come to the end of significant as your DC's time at school I think it natural to reflect on the decisions you've made.
Boarding has without a doubt had a massive impact on him although I genuinely don't think it's altered his inate personality, he has become the person I thought he would when he was a toddler, but I do think it's helped him to become the person he is.
Thank you to the good luck in the exams comments, we will all be relieved when it's over I swing between very optermisic and he'll do ok so much depends on luck on the day.

NewLife4Me · 28/04/2016 18:58

Aw this is so emotional for you all, I can feel for you.
Yes, I bet they will be sad to say goodbye to friends and teachers/ staff.
I know that good schools such as these become second families to them and their peers can be like siblings in a way.
I think friendships that are made in these circumstances can continue through adulthood and sometimes into the workplace too.

HG I wish your son the very best and I'm sure you'll soon answer all your questions as positives.

Anybody leaving please stick around and give us newbies and/or inexperienced the value of your experience.
Don't leave us

NewLife4Me · 28/04/2016 19:10

1805

Looks like we still have each other for company. So glad that it is sorted out and your ds happy now.
I have been thinking about it being so much easier this term too. dd said they have water fights at the first sign of warm weather and the lighter nights have seen even the older ones hanging out on the swings in their little bit of free time at night.
Now she is a bit better settled she swims when she is able but they are still working into the evening.
This continues until they leave though as evening practice is an important part of their schooling.

I have a question for you seasoned lot
What do you do for Birthdays if they fall during the holidays?
dd has friends from as far as London/South to Cumbria.
It is also start of January so can't always guarantee the weather for people to travel any distance.
She has had some lovely invitations and parents who have spent a lot of money to take them to places of interest or Alton Towers etc. Also, not very pleasant in January.
Any suggestions?

happygardening · 28/04/2016 19:34

New can she meet with a couple of good friends over Xmas somewhere central for all of them or as her birthday is in January can she wait till she gets back to school and them do something, even if it's just providing a cake. At DS2's school cake is provided but the house and all the house sing happy birthday, they don't do parties, outing meals in restaurants etc for the whole yr group in house for every birthday just significant ones like 18.
Ask your HM what the form is?

NewLife4Me · 28/04/2016 20:33

Thats a great idea,
I suppose I could provide some little bits of sully stuff.
I just feel so awful as her friends parents have paid out money for places like Alton Towers and transported them all around. This is great when you can guarantee the roads, but if it was bad weather as we have in Jan sometimes, it could be a disaster.
It's more a case of providing something equivalent for dd friends tbh, she's quite happy with anything
I even considered hiring the room at school where they have functions. It's beautiful but a week before they go back parents won't want to travel, maybe stay over night and have to do the same again the next week.
I should have been more considerate as when I gave birth.
It's been a problem in all her schools, but at least they were all local before.

happygardening · 29/04/2016 07:44

New as your DD's school has children from so many different backgrounds I would have thought that there would be less expectations of going for a meal in a chi chi restaurant.
What about a trip to the cinema and maybe a meal out afterwards if your budget will stretch to it? You could either take a few selected friends, 3-4, probably the best way as it will be cheaper and you can include other friends in other houses if you want or the whole of her house yr group. Then if her house doesn't provide a cake you could then do that as well for those who weren't invited.
I make cakes sometimes when I've got time for my DS to take back to school and I have to say I'm not a bad cake maker, lemon tray bake or something similar, home made cakes are apparently very popular mind you you do have to make industrial size quantities.

NewLife4Me · 29/04/2016 12:51

I think Cinema or theatre would be a good idea, maybe even a concert.
There are still many crowd pullers at the beginning of january, so could buy tickets in advance, have about 3 of her friends and arrange a sleepover as well.
I think the cake idea is fine, there aren't that many in her year anyway, I think 21.
Thanks for that

Gruach · 08/06/2016 07:27

This feels very strange.

Couple of weeks til exams and I'm breathing quite normally.

Thank heavens for yr 9.

1805 · 08/06/2016 18:19

Hi New - haven't checked this thread for a while, but I can't believe they have been boarding now for almost a (school) year! Ds won't be the youngest soon!!! No more 1st yr chores in the mornings, and he moves into his own study room in sept also.
Ds's b'day was in term time, so I (and Grandparents!!) posted in a parcel of cake and sweets, and cards that had arrived at home. Then he could share all that with his school friends. House mistress also bakes them a huge cake to share as well. If it was in the hols, I would maybe invite a couple of more local ones to go swimming and a meal, and maybe invite a long distance friend to stay over. Depends if they want to be with their family though. Or you could have a mini break away to Cumbria and invite friends family out for a meal?? Dunno really, but I'm sure your dd will have opinions on what should happen regarding birthdays!!!!!
Ds has resigned himself to boarding, so that he can remain at the school. He still doesn't really like it, and gets sad when going back, but he has made the choice to stay now, so he knows he just has to get on with it. Academically, he is doing amazingly really well and all the teachers love him, so something must be suiting him!

Adventurers71 · 08/06/2016 18:43

Yikes - exam time. DS working out a revision timetable this time around instead of thinking he will be fine (which he did last time and did great in most subjects but had a couple of minor hiccups - he has obviously learned his lesson)
Things have settled nicely although DS is looking forward to the summer break now - he says it has been a LONG year. I feel as though it has flown over with all the back and forth every other week almost.
It will be nice for him to not be the youngest and to have other boys to help and mentor (DS loves helping out with the visitors that come to stay in his house)
I really can't believe the first year is almost finished and I feel I will be lamenting 5 years passing all too quickly like happygardening

sendsummer · 08/06/2016 23:47

Great to have all your updates. Although it must have been an intense first year for all of them it seems to have flown by.

I think a major plus of boarding is the rapidity of which they develop their independent study habits including control of revision. They see how much and how their friends are working, both the good and the bad. Much more effective than parental advice.
1805 I hope that your DS will find the apprehension and duration of the adjustment from home to school getting shorter and shorter.

IndridCold · 09/06/2016 09:52

DS told me that he was in his friend's room chatting, when friend announced he needs to work so could DS please leave. 'Fine, see you later then.'

DS goes back to his room, switches on his laptop to do his own work. 5 minutes later a little window pops up in the corner to let him know that his friend has just gone on line to play some ghastly game. He had to go in and tell him to stop playing and work!

Adventurers71 · 09/06/2016 10:21

IndridCold That sounds a little like my DS at times - he is a little too addicted to Reddit apparently!! I wonder if it can be blocked at certain times of day on his laptop.

IndridCold · 09/06/2016 10:35

I think they all are, Adventurers, especially at first, but IME as the level of work and other activities cranks up, the gaming does take more and more of a back seat, it has to. There is a limit to how many times you want to piss off some of the beaks by handing in a rushed ew!

DS assures me he spends no time gaming at school now, although he does attempt to compensate for this during the holidays (grrrr). However, if they are really learning to limit the time spent gaming themselves, in the long run that is better than banning it, I feel.

HangingRockPicnic · 11/06/2016 12:50

Has anyone read the articles by "Boarding School Beak?" www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationadvice/11454184/Settling-in-at-school-is-not-always-easy.html

They are an interesting read and he seems like a great guy.

NewLife4Me · 14/06/2016 16:42

Thank you hangingRock

I can't believe our thread is a year old now and so much has changed with our dc over this time.
Thanks for keeping it going and it's lovely to hear all the stories.

Well it has taken dd nearly the full year to settle, but there have been several problems which are being sorted now.
It seems like a learning disability in there somewhere and she is currently being assessed for dyslexia amongst other things.

Adventurers71 · 02/07/2016 10:13

So the first year is over. DS is nicely entrenched on the sofa in his usual position. I am looking forward to the next 10 or so weeks to have him around and the house feeling full of noise and activity again.

We survived the year and the long long journeys.

I think some changes are needed for next year to make things easier - i.e. flying instead of driving etc as no house move looks imminent at the moment.
DS says summer half is definitely best and he feels fully settled in now but is happy of the break before starting his choices for GCSE's next year. He is happy to be letting go of his lesser enjoyed subjects in favour of his favourites and is upbeat and excited about next year.

Gruach · 02/07/2016 11:44

Ah yes - the sofa position. Smoothly re-established here too. As well as ownership of all remote controls within the house. And exposure of my inadequate knowledge regarding every member of every national football team still standing ...

happygardening · 02/07/2016 13:47

We're off to Domum, sitting here wondering what on earth to wear. DS went back to school for the last time on Wednesday. Feels kind of weird.
Win Coll is mercifully short of meaningless ritual but tonight is the exception an even I don't think its meaningless.

NewLife4Me · 02/07/2016 14:19

Aw, HG. It's kind of sad, but sounds like he has had a great education at the school.

It all went pear shaped at dd school, I can't say what happened, but it wasn't very good at all.
She is at home a week earlier than she should and we are seriously considering her continuing.
It is true that boarding doesn't suit all children, no matter how much they try.
For dd it is making the right decisions that is the main problem, you need to know they are safe.
We have to see how it goes over the holidays.
Nice to hear about the dc returning, I love the take up of the remote controls

happygardening · 02/07/2016 14:54

NewLife I'm really sorry to read this I thought all was going well.
Can you say if it was her or the school?

DarklingJane · 02/07/2016 14:57

Happy, enjoy Domum. It is the most lovely, if very poignant evening.

NewLife , Sorry to hear that also. But, at least a nice long time with the pressure off to make whatever decisions you need to. I wish you all the best.

happygardening · 02/07/2016 15:02

Apparently the boys sing Dulce Domum which means Sweet Home, he said the other day "I'm coming home".

happygardening · 02/07/2016 15:03

Sitting here still wearing my riding clothes from this morning as I cant decide what to wear weather looks a bit crap TBH!

DarklingJane · 02/07/2016 15:07

I've seem to have something in my eye just remembering it. I hope you have a fantastic evening x

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