How many working class or families receiving benefit would you find

[morethanpotatoprints]

In fee paying selective schools?
Or how many do you know?

I'm really referring to those who are one or maybe two steps from the breadline.

If you are one of these families do you think you would mix well with the parents at these types of school?

I think the other thing to remember is that a fair number of parents in private schools are first time buyers so perhaps they may be comfortably off but their parents or grandparents weren't. Our DC go to a prep school but DH's family in N Africa only got running water less than 10 years ago and my grandad worked in the coalfields.

handcream

Thank you so much for your honest responses and they have put to rest some of the fears I had.
We can't afford one of the schools we were looking at, the one for which I was asking the questions about really. It is also selective academically and I don't think dd would make it tbh, she struggles.

We were also thinking about the future and the talents that our dd possesses and the fact its usually only the rich that can afford such privileged education.
However, we went to an open day recently (sat) where the other school offers 100% bursary which we have fallen in love with for the future.

She almost had her bags packed when we came home, but there's one little thing called an audition she has to pass first.
The parents were lovely, there were a few I didn't feel as though I would like to approach but I'm sure you could find that anywhere.
I met one parent who was sooooooo posh and obviously worth millions, she was so lovely and we discussed our dds and them working together maybe in the future.

Thanks to you all for your wonderful and honest responses. I will stop worrying now and que sera

Honestly you are worrying about nothing at all. My parents both voted Labour - my DF in particular hates Margaret Thatcher. Blames her for all his ills! I came from a single parent background tbh. Went to a rubbish school and didnt particularly do well education wise. Yet, here I am sending my DS's to some of the best schools in the world.

Yes, I have been lucky, I have made sensible decisions with hindsight. Didnt get married until mid 30's which makes one afford more. I have not taken a career break and both my DH have stable roles.

But do remember that these schools arent there to fund people who cannot afford the fees. They must get people like my DH and myself who blooming well pay the full fees with no help from grandparents etc.

Also a small word of warning if I may. 100% bursaries are very hard to find and to win! You really have to be very very academically inclined.

My DS went to a prep school where they had a chap taken from a very run down area of Slough. He was brilliant apparently and he was prepped for Eton. He won a Kings Scholarship but he struggled personality wise. He developed a nervous twitch and didnt have many friends. His parents who I met were like rabbits in headlights although they had clearly pushed and pushed him. Is it Ok if I say he was Asian? Both my DSs have tons of Asian friends and they hold academic achievement in very very high regard. The social side not so much.

So, I guess in life - you cannot have everything. Does anyone remember Ruth Lawrence who went to Oxford at a really young age (along with her father!!). Very strange story and one we would like to repeat with our children (at least I wouldnt!)

Wouldnt (not would!)

Handcream

Many thanks. I do appreciate what you are saying and dd knows she has to work hard and prove she is at the required level, shows promise for a career in music and that she will benefit from intensive study.
Otherwise game over, where the school is concerned and rightly so imo.
She hasn't passed yet but dh has several colleagues who teach their and at other schools who have heard her and said she stands a good chance.
We aren't looking at applying for a while yet though.

If she has that much of a chance - please go for it. I have a friend who entered her DS for every entry test going even though he was just average academically. He kept failing the tests but she said it didnt matter.

Yes, it does. If you really feel and others feel (we can be quite biased us mums!) there is a good chance then please apply.

And you know what - somehow you find the money. We are high earners, however we still have a mortage and sometimes I dream about a 2nd home somewhere hot but tbh - I dont have the time work wise to take it off so it would be a bit wasted.

Oh yes, I remember seeing her on the news and thinking she had done really well, didn't hear anything else, what happened to her?

Thanks again handcream

I seem to remember taking a contrary stance to many of your posts not purposely or vindictively, just differing opinions.
I will try my best to be lovely to you from hence forth.
We will have to make some sacrifices as we won't get the full bursary, you need to be broke to get this but we will manage. We will save a lot from the private tuition she has at the moment, so this will help. Second hand uniform will no doubt be required too, but not sure about it yet.
I know pigs might fly, but it could be reasonable who knows?
They have said something about a £50 a half term holding for pocket money, if she ever boards. We are only 45 mins away on train so I'm not as keen as she is on boarding.
Anyway at the very least sept 2015

"Whilst these families often have little income they do have the know how and aspiration to apply and get there DC's into these schools.
There is a degree of truth in this, any one can apply for a bursary/place at my DS's school. Their bursary policy is clearly stated on their website, my DS is super bright but he's not unique, but many don't I'm sure for a whole variety of reasons.
OP best of luck with your future school plans as one head once said to me "if you don't ask you won't get".

I agree with mintyy. Fully support bursarys for those on low incomes where both parents work or where only one parent can work sdue to disability. I do not expect to subsidise people who are able to work but chose not to. If those people want private schools they can work and make some contribution if they can't pay the whole whack. No way am I prepared to subsidise those who chose to stay at home.

NearTheWindMill in my now very extensive experience of bursaries if your children are older than primary school age both parents are expected to work unless they have health problems or are caring for an older disabled child or increasingly common an elderly relative.

I'm curious NearTheWindMill are you subsidising those on bursaries? At my DS's school current parents are not subsidising children on bursaries of which there are currently about 15%, the average being 60% of £34k PA, consisting non scholars and scholars (a scholarship has no financial reward it is a status reward only). The money is not being raised from fees.

NearTheWindmill

If neither of you work you receive the full bursary, free school uniform and free travel if you live further than 3 miles away.
My dh does work but has a low income.
The school is open to all irrespective of income, a place is gained on merit alone. Fees are either 23k or 30k.
I personally think this is fantastic and shows that its not how much money you have, you can't buy yourself in.

The school cannot be open to all. It is open to a mojority who can pay and a minority who can't. I stand corrected if full fee payers aren't subsidising - I'll look into where the money comes from at my children's schools. It has to come from somewhere. And I hope those on bursaries would agree that they should be contributing as much as possible even if that means bioth parents are working wherever possible. Enough parents on full fees do it because they both work - if parents on bursaries can both work then they should want to and if they don't the bursary should nbe reduced so they have to. This is beginning to sound like the something for nothing brigade. If you want privilege for your children you should pay for it wherever you can.

Morethan
I think the bursary position might be slightly different for your DD if she is going to a specialist music/arts school (you mentioned an audition). I think they may have different sources of funding to the conventional school bursary pot.

Chazs

Yes, it is drama and music awards. You can earn a whacking 100k+ before you pay the full fees.
I can't remember how many exactly but 90 odd % receive some kind of funding.

Near
I chose not to work to allow dd to follow the career path she chose when she was 2.5. When school became too time consuming and interfered with her goal we allowed her to be H.educated.
I spend many hours ferrying her around and travelling up and down the country, its what we do.
The school is open to all irrespective of background or income.

Which was a God send after not needing to visit the other school which was a bursary/scholarship if mummy and daddy had paid a teacher to pass a few exams.

There are people with money who want something for nothing, believe me. We see them buying houses near nice state schools.

NearTheWindmill many PM me for advise about bursaries most are struggling to pay, all are working, contributing as much as possible, I'm sure there are parents who are not making sacrifices, who are not working but these are definitely in the minority.
Our school publishes accounts detailing how the bursary money was raised, donations. I'm sure in some schools full fee paying parents are contributing (in fact I know this happens, a friend who DS attends a very famous and wealthy boarding school was once telling me about a letter detailing the fee increase to raise money for bursary pot) but this in not a for gone conclusion.

Most schools are strict about bursaries. Both parents must work, and maximise their income where they are able. They must give an accepotable explanation if this isn't the case. They also have to detail any assests and are expected to sell them where reasonable. I think that's right.

Oh and bursaries are not available to pupils whose parents have paid for them to pass a few exams - they go to the most talented!!! Often the bursary kids are absurdly bright.

I have no idea, wouldn't presume to guess whether they are claiming benefits

Depends how you define working class?
Probably none at our senior school

There's a girl with a tiny house and dad works for a plumber and mum doesn't work. Presume they are not rolling in it. Their dd very sweet and clever. My presumption is that age has a scholarship and bursary plus nshe is an only child

However maybe they won the lottery and are keeping it quiet, who knows

She doesn't mix with anyone apart from one other family despite having had tons of invites

She's a lovely kid but parents hugely controlling not that has anything to do with anything really

Yes truly poor kids don't get into private schools, except in exceptional circumstances. So I once knew a boy who was exceptionally talented musician. He got a 100% bursary because the school actively wanted such an amazingly talented boy as a pupil. But even then the parents still had to come up with travel costs, uniform costs and the costs of extras.

morethanpotatoprints massive numbers of mothers at my children's school work to pay the fees. You should too so you can contribute towards the cost of your child's private education. If you worked you might have been able to afford a better house. Good for you; many children have to make do with an au-pair to take them to activities.

Why should it make a difference I know quite a few families would don't qualify for bursaries but find it very difficult to keep up with the extra costs even though they are on good salaries,my two DGSs both won full bursaries to one of the best schools in our area at the time DD was on her own with 4 children and she managed with our help to send them there worth every stressful moment as DGS1 is now 3rd yr law & DGS2 electrical engineer,if your child has the caperbilities it doesn't matter if you are on benefits or not,I know some of the boys who went through school with our boys are unemployable at the moment they live off their parents so what does tell you in the long run only that mummy & daddy have paid out £?k's for what ?

Near

If I had worked we wouldn't have been able to afford any house after paying an au pair, car and fuel, etc. I don't want or need a better house and don't see your point tbh. Why does it matter whether we can afford the fees or not? We wouldn't get everything free anyway as my dh has an income. We would end up paying a proportion, uniform and travel
do you not agree that the children of very poor parents should receive burseries? The school we are looking at will pay the whole lot if the parents earn under 10k.

Word

That was my point, dc on bursaries have to be very bright imo, those who can afford full fees maybe not so.
I am arguing this point, that if you have an exceptionally gifted ort talented child you should receive bursaries.
Apologies if I didn't make this clear.