I think part of the clash on the crossroads on this one is the differences in looking at those who cannot access the curriculum and opportunities and those who cannot access the curriculum and opportunities because of home circumstances. The latter is a subset of the former and I think some of us are talking about one while others are talking about the other.
I was one who was unable to access the curriculum or many opportunities because of home life and would certainly put my child self as part of an educational underclass because of it. And my parents were upper middle class, very good income and very connected in the community - they were also violent drug addicts and my mother particularly wanted fame. When I could no longer take part in her training because of medical condition her words, still ringing in my ears at times, was that at least I had enough training to be a stripper. A couple with earnings well over 6 figures, have two children who needed help with alcohol before legal age and all three children living well below the poverty line now as adults because we could not access the curriculum and were denied opportunities because of their chaos. And we were not alone - one of our posh schools had a 'self-help group' which was the guidance counselor trying to give kids from our backgrounds with chaotic lives coping tools because it was at that time too hard to get services involved in that post code and by then it was quite late for most of us. We weren't lazy, we were just trying to survive and it broke most of us, all in different ways.
My children on the other hand have trouble accessing enough of the curriculum and opportunities because of where we live and our socio-economic groups. I would put them in an educational underclass because where we live means they will struggle far more to get those basic qualifications and opportunities are hard to come by - we live in an education black spot. Less than half of the kids at non-selective schools in my area will get the basic 5 A*-C GCSEs or equivalents and I can't believe that is all down to chaotic home lives. The people who are meant to help, like my children's support worker, have pretty much refused to discuss anything about education, opportunities, socializing, problems they're facing and how to cope and instead just talk about things. She dismissed my daughter's struggle to find friends and laughed at her when she said she wanted to be a doctor, to instead ask if she wanted new posters for her room and talk about adding some flowers to our garden.
It isn't about which kids have which dreams, it's about children - and adults - being denied access to making real choices in their lives. That denial isn't happening only in the home, it's a society wide problem that reaches into schools, support services, and into the education curriculum itself along with media into who gets represented and how they get represented. Many of us are fighting and clawing and begging for help only to be told that we're worrying about the wrong thing and wouldn't we much rather discuss the colour of our walls. It's very frustrating, especially with the message that we are in this situation only because we're lazy and chaotic and just need sensible people to tell us what to do when those sensible people are the ones throwing our children's hopes and concerns away.