When to go private?

[Vijac]

If money is limited, which stage do you think is most beneficial for a child to have private education? 4-7, 7-11 or secondary? Secondary is obviously where you get all your qualifications etc and where you are most likely to go off the rails and participate in club. But then, if you don't have the best start in education could it set the tone in a child's attitude and would they get into the more academic secondaries? What do people think. Just as an aside, I do know that there are good state schools available too.

We're not... Competitive sadding are we

Er.. Yeah. Clearly.

The problem isn't who's sadder. The problem is the very limited understanding here. Which does seem a bit indicative.

Hey, don't forget happy people go to state schools, too.

Yes they do, dd3 goes to a state school and she's very happy. As are most of her friends

The tenor of most of the posts of this thread certainly suggests that parents are trying to buy a peer group when they buy private education.

As I said upthread, it seems as clear as day - and I can't see anything controversial about stating that. Whether or not its beneficial for our children and young people is controversial though.

Steamingnit, you have no more understanding of what's best for my children than I do about yours.

To return to the original question - it depends almost entirely on the child and the schools in question.

Locally:

• 4-11 if your aim is the local superselective grammar (as the 7 years of coaching mean that many of the places at said grammar are given to children who have attended a bunch of local private primaries who make this their raison d'etre)

• 3 - 18 if you are looking for social selectivity (though the comprehensives get better results than all of the privates in this group)

• 4 - 11 and then 11 - 18 if your aim is the one [single sex] nationally known school with better results than the comprehensives.

• Never, if your aim is simply good exam results, as the local comp is fantastic.

I think it depends on the child.
Dc2 is bored and unmotivated in year 1 - if money was no object i would move him as he needs to be stretched much more than he is being at the moment.
Dc1 absolutely fine in state.

(LOcal comp also green and leafy, has a good enough reputation that many children who have places at grammar or private schools actively choose the comprehensive instead)

Sorry, posted too soon - so the peer group isn't an issue.

Since when were we talking about that?

I take exception to the OP which implies there's a swings and roundabout dilemma over whether you expose your child to the low standards of state primary, or let him or her get fucked up at state secondary.

I take exception to the idea that what parents seek and get from private school is 'diversity'.

And I think some of the posts on here are worryingly naive and ill informed.

I make no comment about anyone's child.

Squeaky,

It does depend hugely on the school - much more than the sector. DS had a torrid time at first state primary, thrived and excelled in his second. Would have been bored and unmotivated in the local privates - though he would have enjoyed the sport. I do know of several children who have moved their DCs from local state primaries to privates to 'stop them being pushed so hard', which again indicates that it is a school by school not sector by sector comparison!

[Parents who have moved DCs, obviously]

Nit- we're in Devon a barren monocultural county and the ethnic diversity of the private schools is pretty comparable to the state schools, if not better. (although there has been a very marked and welcome increase in ethnic minorities in the city in the last five years).

Yes, as I say, it was acknowledged a few pages back that private schools can have children from many different countries.

My husband works at a prep and I work in a state secondary (special measures and would still send my child there). We are also divided about the issue (both qts), we are sending them to the prep as it is cheaper than wrap around care. We get a big discount. Part of my soul has died but I know it is the right thing. My little girl is teaching me beautiful table manners. She will have to tough it out in the very good secondary school though.
I have taught students who have come from prep school and they always do well. Good kids always do well where ever they are.

Would also like to echo the point made upthread that diversity doesn't necessarily mean ethnic diversity alone. Considering diversity of incomes and backgrounds is important too.

Agree that the OP's presumption that kids are likely to 'go off the rails' at 'non-academic' state schools is also dubious at best.

For us, for dd1, age 4-7. No doubts. What we will do next year when dd2 reaches reception age, no idea.
In general, I'd rather spend money on the basics ie primary. Get them to read and write and learn how to learn.
Personal decisions for your own children. I'd never judge but have been judged harshly.

Going slightly against the grain, but if funds don't permit private education throughout, I would do private for primary (following the principle of 'give me a child until the age of 7 and I will give you the man'), state for 11-16 because GCSEs are a bit of a joke and you can supplement with tutors, out of school clubs, and out of school music, but definitely private for sixth form, where a deep understanding of the A level subject matters.

I would go private too....ooo I did. .

I don't think you should care about cultural diversity. In good boarding schools you will find a lot of overseas students. Although I have to admit most will come from families with a little spare cash.

It seems to me silly to say they will not mix with kids of different abilities. We sent them there to learn with kids of the same mind...Thats why they pass an entrance exam and have an interview to see if they are right for that school. If they are great if not then Im sure another school fit for them would be available. Every person is an individual. What may work for my child may not work for yours. Its great that we have the choice.

" state for 11-16 because GCSEs are a bit of a joke and you can supplement with tutors, out of school clubs, and out of school music, but definitely private for sixth form, where a deep understanding of the A level subject matters."

Wow. You really don't rate the education 93% of the population get, do you?!

In conclusion: there is no right or wrong answer - it's your child, you have to make your own decisions!...

It is your child- and it's also your family.

The difference between private school and state school+extras is basically that with private school you buy a package: enrichment activities, sports, leisure activities are all provided on the premises. This suits some families but doesn't suit others.

It's like an inclusive holiday: if you are the kind of person who wants to hand over a cheque and know that everything is being taken care of, then that would seem to be the optimal solution. ]

Other people prefer to make their own travel arrangements and if you have that mindset, then a state school + extras can work very well.

I am pleased that all our education money is not going on school fees because it means we still have the money to pay for enrichment activities that even a private school wouldn't provide, to maintain a very good family library, to do trips that are specially geared to our interests and needs.

Basically, state education to us partly means retaining some control over the educational spending: a private school (assuming we could afford it) would mean handing over all the spending decisions to somebody else.

It means if dc show signs of a special talent we can focus the spending there. Like my parents were able to send my db to take lessons from the Kapellmeister of a well known symphonic orchestra: coaching on that level wouldn't be provided even at private school. Or I can let dd audition for the best youth theatre programme in the country because I know if she can get in I can pay the fees.

I just find it a bit odd when people say you have to go private because a good education is more important than anything else. My children are getting a good education. It's just not all happening at school and being taken care of by other people; it's a combined effort between the school and us.

jewel by saying that private is best for a primary aged child because that's how they'll learn to read and write... You're judging. Surely you can see that?