When to go private?

[Vijac]

If money is limited, which stage do you think is most beneficial for a child to have private education? 4-7, 7-11 or secondary? Secondary is obviously where you get all your qualifications etc and where you are most likely to go off the rails and participate in club. But then, if you don't have the best start in education could it set the tone in a child's attitude and would they get into the more academic secondaries? What do people think. Just as an aside, I do know that there are good state schools available too.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

No of course everyone who sends their children to the local school doesn't do so out of ideological fervour... But as I said, there are many attitudes private school parents may have, or beliefs they may hold. Just I find the 'it's so diverse' one especially unpalatable.

[rabbitstew]

You can't have too diverse a population in a boarding school, either - that's why they are so careful who they select, who could "cope" with it and "benefit" from it.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

But what do your daughter's friends have to tolerate, almoTada?

[Altamoda]

Well I don't think that so we should get on ok

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Well no, you did say you didn't choose the school for its diversity. Sounds like your local comprehensive has rather more of that?

[Altamoda]

Our private school isn't selective, if you can pay, you're in. Miracle that they get such good results really. Lots of dyslexic kids, lots of not particularly clever kids

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Our private school isn't selective, if you can pay, you're in that's a joke, right?

[MrsShortfuse]

I send mine to the local comp because I fancy the Deputy Head.

[Altamoda]

My daughters school IS more diverse than the comprehensive if by diverse you mean not white British. But the vast majority are comfortably off

Still have divorce, deaths, businesses going bust, though, misery isn't the preserve of the badly paid.

[Altamoda]

Sorry that should say not academically selective. Of course it is financially selective.

[curlew]

So-it's selective.

[rabbitstew]

I haven't decided where to send mine at secondary level, yet, although that selection method sounds interesting, MrsShortfuse.

[duchesse]

I'd say 11-16, at a school that instils a good work ethic in them. Early teenage is a very tricky age and it's important that they see most of their friends working hard as well.

For 6th form, depends on the individual child. Some are more sorted than others at 16. Hopefully they will be as sorted as they can be by 16. ime if you have a decent state 6th form college near you they should be fine by then.

[Altamoda]

Yes, financially
Sadly having money doesn't seem to magically make children clever and hard working

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Yep, the year 9s at most comprehensives suffer terribly when their parents' businesses go bust... The nature of your proposed miseries does suggest a slightly limited view of what a child might go through!

As has been pointed out and conceded: yes, rich children come from many different countries.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Do you think it might have any impact on a child's attitude to learning and to school to know that their parents are paying vast amounts of money for them to learn at one place in particular, which closes its doors to the vast majority (ie those who don't have enough cash?). Do you think that might make a tiny bit of difference?

[Altamoda]

I don't know. I don't guilt mine into learning. I don't think that's how the teachers do it either

[Altamoda]

So what is all this suffering that year 9s go through at state schools?

[rabbitstew]

Well, at the moment, the suffering is largely caused by Michael Gove!...

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

I dunno, what could ever happen in a family that's not death divorce or your parents' business going bust? Anything....?

[Altamoda]

Yes that's something we have I common, the teachers at dd1s school hate him as well

[duchesse]

I agree with Altamoda.

We actually moved DD1 out of private school because we didn't like the attitudes wrt money and material stuff that she was developing and her unreasonable expectations. FWIW, DD1 is extremely grateful she went to the FE college now- her attitudes completely changed in the first term of 6th form.

DS always kept his principles and was always mindful that he was getting something many children didn't (mainly teachers who would chase the arse off him to get work out of him rather than leave him for dead).

DD2 has also not lost touch with reality- she is fully aware how lucky she is, but maybe not fully aware how sheltered she is by being in a very small 6th form. But then, she is very shy and is flourishing in a way I don't think she would have at the college with 4000 other students.

[Altamoda]

Yes those things tend to happen in all families

I am surprised there are people that still think that money insulates you from unhappiness

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

I'm sorry, but the fact that you can say a school isn't selective because 'if you can pay, you're in'; you can't think of anything bad that might happen in a family or in a child's life that's not death, divorce or the failure of a business, and that you don't see how being at a school where everyone's parents have invested heavily in them attending might have some sort of impact on the general atmosphere there... Well that does all suggest that a bit of diversity is lacking, I'm afraid.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Did anyone say that money insulates anyone from unhappiness?